Ukrainian house guest doesn't want to leave!

[reallyneedmoresleep]

We've had a Ukrainian house guest for the last six months via the Homes for Ukraine scheme. When she came to live with us, we said it would be for a six month period and at the last welfare check we confirmed that she would need to move out by mid-May.
She doesn't want to leave. She has asked several times if she can stay, we have said no. She says our house is much nicer than where she can afford to move to.

I have visited estate agents with her who advise that to rent privately, she either needs a guarantor (we are not prepared to do this) or to pay six month's rent plus the deposit up front. She cannot afford this.

What do we do?

I know the situation in Ukraine is appallling and I am writing from a position of immense priveledge but we have found it really difficult having someone else in our home. She is not an easy person to be around, does not work, has refused all offers to be taken to support groups and frequently just hangs around us when we are in the house when we are trying to work or just to chill. Our son is home from uni in a couple of weeks and we need the room back.

There has been radio silence from the council Homes for Ukraine scheme.
How can I help her to move on?

You do t think Ukraine is racist then or materialistic?

Er no. Because humans are complex things. A person I know, Ukranian had it all here, a good host family, a part time job. She was doing well with English. Rather inconveniently, the rest of her family including frightened, ill older relatives were still in Ukraine. So she went back.

"They want to be together as a family and men are not allowed to leave." -

I wasn't aware of this. If true, understandable how female Ukrainians in safety in the UK head back to visit home.

Our guests are a grandmother with her adult daugther and her grandson. Her daugther has been back to Ukraine twice in 2 years and each time refused to allow her mum and son to come with her.

Once she went to see her DH after he was injured. Once she went to deal with an urgent family matter - not sure what. Both times she spent only a few days in Ukraine and returned distressed. She was wiillng to risk herself but not her mother or her son.

Yes, I when there was a mass exodus, men between 18-60 were not allowed out.

I’ve had five people stay, I haven’t posted as a ‘host’ as none wanted to be long term and I didn’t officially ‘host’ in a scheme or act as the sponsor. had a couple in their twenties, sponsored, which fell through on route. Friends of friends who left very early on. Stayed two weeks, found work and a house share. Hosted their cousin, one week. Straight into a job in construction 3 days after arrival. 4 days in the house. Two sisters in their thirties for for three weeks who were related to people in the house share the first went to and had family visas opened instead. Needed temporary place whilst flat hunting. Was harder as things were getting full, but they found a room to share and hotel work pretty easily. All short term young people.

That's appalling!!!! I'm so sorry your daughter is experiencing this, I can very much relate to that.

We ignore obligations and treaties all the time and the supposed obligation to support democracy. How many middle east dictators do we support despite that for our supposed interests
Here we supposedly need to protect them despite it being someone else's backyard and we don't have the facilities and infrastructure for so much immigration and nor should we be giving away weapons willy nilly
Ukraine is a corrupt country and all we've done is help them destroy their country
Full support would be one thing but this half hearted stuff has disabled countless Ukrainians and Russians forced to fight who could've all been at home. We're causing decades of suffering under wartime when they could've had lighter suffering under Putin and living in peace

I can’t quite believe your closing remark. Nothing like a bit of appeasement is there?

Stun a stoat. Sideways.

If your house is burgled, that's the fault of the police who came to stop the burglar, not the burglar's fault at all, right?

Wtf have I just read?!

Do you have any fucking idea about Russia? Or do you just work for RussiaToday?

@bctf123 I think you'll find that they're fighting so their children and grandchildren don't have ANY suffering living under Putin and his cronies. I can't believe what you've just written.

Where would you be happy for the little bit of light suffering under Putin to end.. Baltic states? Poland? Romania? Germany? Finland? France... or maybe the UK...? If we don't help Ukraine stop Russia where will they look next I wonder?

Be happy would you with your children enjoying a bit of light suffering because we thought it would be easier than fighting? Rape, murder, slavery, kidnap, raids on their homes - if they've not already been commandeered for use by the Russians, forced to learn the language of the occupiers... nothing like a bit of light suffering is there?

Are you quite quite mad?

Fucking hell, do you know what the Russian army does? Is it better for Ukrainians to have a "lighter suffering" of mass rape and torture rather than fight to avoid that and keep their children safe from that?

To the point of the thread though, having private families host refugees was never a good idea, the UK government should have taken care of them properly from the beginning. In my country, while some have private arrangements with hosts, Ukrainians are entitled to the same refugee support and housing as any other refugee. In my town they live in a block of flats that is solely for them, they study the language in the vocational school, and I see on the local facebook group all the time requests for odd jobs or offers of selling berries and mushrooms that they've picked, or tailoring services, or any other method of earning money (as they can't get proper jobs without the language skills and Finnish is notoriously difficult to learn, but they're trying hard, I see them at the school every day).

@bctf123

You don't really believe all that, do you?

You’ve done your bit to help. The guest should not pressure you. Gather belongings today and take her to a refugee centre.

Where would you be happy for the little bit of light suffering under Putin to end.. Baltic states? Poland? Romania? Germany? Finland? France... or maybe the UK...? If we don't help Ukraine stop Russia where will they look next I wonder?

Are we applying the Cold War ‘domino effect’ to Russia these days? It’s a Ukrainian-Russian border issue at the end of the day.

At the end of the day it is an unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation. And the unprovoked destruction of entire villages and in one case almost all of a city, as well as infrastructures such as large dams. It is the stated intention of genocide.

But yes, let us by all means minimise it as "a border issue", which sounds less brutal and horrible. Even though one country involved was not encroaching on the other's border in any way....

But yes, let us by all means minimise it as "a border issue", which sounds less brutal and horrible. Even though one country involved was not encroaching on the other's border in any way

I am not here to argue this. I am here to argue against the idea that Russia is going to invade the Baltic states or Poland! This is just the height of ridiculousness

Russia is already taking steps to destabilise both Georgia and Moldova, they will not stop at Ukraine unless they are either forced to stop or this war becomes too costly for Putin personally because his popularity starts to wane.
It would seem the Kremlin have little concern for lives lost or money expended.

Thanks for that insight, I am sure NATO will be in contact soon for more of your wisdom.

On this logic.. why do you think everyone is helping Ukraine?

Why do you think the famously neutral Sweden has recently joined Nato @Bridgetta ? (Also, Finland) Due to a little local dispute about "border issues"?

We live in one of the richest countries in the world. Of course the Tories could solve the small boats by launching safe routes and processing centres in France.
But they'd rather appeal to the far right/Daily Mail readers by putting on flights to Rwanda- trading in human misery as a last ditch attempt to win the election.

Their fear of a Russian invasion seems totally overblown, sorry. Does anyone seriously believe Russian tanks are going to roll through? Finland does have some risk due to the border but not fucking Sweden.