What was the last thing you said out loud?

[DandyMaker]

Ohhhh.

Probably ready by 8.15

Lie down.

What are you trying to watch?

Why do I so want Taggart to be a child! 🤣🤣🤣

don't throw your clothes on the floor

"go to the toilet separately, it is not appropriate to go together!"

To my children, who are in the witching hour and DP is taking ages to do our dinner so we can put them to bed.

Who’s playing?

PLEASE have a shower. No, now!
To smelly teen (tommmmmoooorrow)

I don't think Pete will be underhand with your mum's money, but he's crafty.

Shh. 🤫

Can she have her ukulele,.please? 😂

"I have died everyday, waiting for you" 🎶🎶
Current ear worm 🐛

I told you that if you chose to growl at me, I would choose to go downstairs.

Sadly not to an animal but to dd, who was being an absolute pain at bedtime!

You can have some of the Easter egg in the kitchen (to DD, looking for something for pudding).

I spoke to my parrot who was balancing on my toe (I'm in the bath). I said, "Hello young Figmund!" (he's not that young, and his name isn't Figmund, it's Figaro/Figgy).

God! What's this rubbish?

On the tv

Fucking hell, this is all so shit

Go and do wee-wees.

Fair play

Ds, do you want to come and watch this shark programme with me?
(he said no!)

For fuck sake, when a car pulled over white chevrons in from a different lane at the moment our lane veered left narrowly missing hitting the back of the car in front of it.

Take that out your mouth.

"Oh fuck. It was my bloody M&Ms"

Had been sitting in the lounge and heard something fall. Went to the kitchen and couldn't see anything amiss initially. Went back into lounge to continue watching Race across the world. Took my cup back through to the kitchen and noticed my peanut M&Ms Had chucked themselves off the bench somehow. Hope they aren't all smashed up.

Oval discs of disappointment...

Stop shagging your sister (to my dog)