CF allotment thief part 3: The ‘plot’ thickens and auditions begin for the west end musical

[YaMuvva]

Just creating one now before t’other fills up. Will post updates when I have them

Last thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5048540-cf-allotment-thief-part-2-the-battle-of-barbara-and-the-beansprouts?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Surely you mean his, ' his masculine odour is summoning you, like a bee to buddleia, you cannot resist burying yourself in his musk.'
'His face flushed as as he thought of Babs and Brian from number 16, frolicking, bare cheeked in the herbs, on his land... his land, that he and YaMuvva should be caressing erotically with their green fingers.'

I’m thinking classic doctor who story line. The alien queen is under the vegetable patch.

😂😂

Did dream Dibby consider they may have rights through adverse possession?

And Barbara is actually a reasonable person, but the aliens don’t understand our earthly ways (land registry) and they are using mind control.

He caressed her breasts, hard like his prized cabbages, and his throbbing aubergine pressed against his gardening jodphurs. He looked into her eyes and said “By ‘eck a laaaark you arrrr do, can a tek ye t’bed?”

Actually this is terrible. My breasts are not hard like cabbages. More like a couple of moldy new potatoes that have been stepped on by a dog.

I can't believe it either.😂

I do love a bit of Beach Boys.

These threads have been amazing, a real insight into human nature and disordered thinking lol. You wouldn't buy a new car then continue to lend it to the previous owners niece because she had spent years driving it as the previous owner didn't use it. The land is the same, its OP's property but because land is harder to take back than say, a car people are being weird and refusing to see the facts. Also unrelated but my nan tells me when she first moved into her home ( good 20 years ago now ) next door neighbours teenage son turned up expecting to use her bath at 5pm 3 nights running because their house was being renovated and apparently the previous neighbour didn't mind lmao. Took 3 nights of that for her to say something, people are just nuts

😂😂😂

Also following as now invested. Better than Netflix.😂

Philip Schofield is available for work if you are still auditioning for your DH part!!!

I think Sally Wainwright as script writer given that Victoria Wood sadly died a few years ago would be a good choice.

There must be a way to cast both Celia Imrie (who I saw on the tube a few years ago) and Julie Walters.

Yikes!

This must be the most invested thread I've been on, bloody loving it and wishing my allotment was as exciting, watch this space!!

Quite,I'm not sure where people have got the idea that she doesn't have much else.

More suggestions for the musical:

You Still Believe in Me (being able to use the allotment) sung by Barbara to her neighbours

God Only Knows why Barbara thinks she can still use the allotment after her friend sold it

Don’t Worry Baby/Barbie - you can transport your plants to your back garden and they will thrive there

Fun, Fun, Fun (and we’ll have Fun Fun Fun watching Barbie take her Turnips away)

In My Room Shed

Wipe Out Barbara’s claim to the allotment
We got our wheelbarrow, got our sharp spades out
Jumped into our 4 by 4, ready to “wipeout” (anything left on our allotment)

Poor Barbara's Bush

Will it get trimmed back or ripped out completely

DH and I went to see some dreadful local amdram this evening.
Now AT LAST I'm home and tucked up in bed with a cuppa and having MUCH more fun reading this, and it hasn't cost me a tenner a ticket either.
Rock on OP and DH and Babzilla!

Arrrr- ye need to be growing them little wintery green balls of goodness - Brussell Sprouts. Then you can call yersel' a gardener.

Ask Barb what colour her winter balls are, if she says "green, they grow off thick stalks and I've spent a few months clearing the green slime (cabbage butterlfy eggs) off them with my bare hands" then you might have trouble.

But I'm guessing all that lush foliage is probably parsley, it's done very well this winter.

Forgive me if this has already been suggested, but have you checked the designation of the land that the allotment is part of on the Local Plan or the Neighbourhood Plan if there is one. I know you want to use it as an allotment, but if there’s even a hint that the land could be developed in the future, then it will potentially be worth a lot more if a developer moves to buy out all the allotment owners. Barbara, if she’s been a local for a long time, might be aware of this possibility… she might have an ulterior motive for holding on tight!

Bloody hell @YaMuvva I'm still not caught up on thread 2 but I'm loving your steely resolve to allotment-gate

Genius! Who do we speak to about getting this jukebox musical commissioner? Does anybody know a Beach Boy?

OMG fantastic Beach Boying there April