What is the MOST irritating thing on Mumsnet?

[5YearsLeft]

I saw someone mention that something was “high on the list of most irritating Mumsnet things,” but I couldn’t find a post discussing that list. And now we have polls, I thought it might be interesting, especially “other” stuff.

Really really long posts. And prefacing it with 'sorry, this a long post' doesn't help - I just hide it without reading it!

The lack of functionality on the app

Man cheating = scum
Woman cheating = justified, forgive yourself

Man unhappy with sex frequency = sex pest
Woman unhappy with sex frequency = LTB, you deserve to be happy

Man not wanting sex = closet gay, death grip, porn addiction
Woman not wanting sex = Man not doing enough housework

Not understanding the other point of view.
Being late is the one that popped in my head.
The latees don't acknowledge how fucking annoying it is to be standing there waiting on them.
But we are expected to understand their time blindness.

When people say that any concerns about maintaining women's rights and spaces = transphobia.

The aversion to credit cards, usually as a snooty 'I don't need a credit card' on a thread complaining about an issue that would never have arisen if the OP had a credit card (supplier gone bust or supplied shoddy goods and they have no redress, automatic petrol stations, hire car companies or hotels holding money in their current account, temporary cash flow issue, need to order a few things to choose from online but can't afford to pay for all the items and return most of them etc).

Also the obsession with overpaying mortgages even when it makes no sense to do so because you have a low rate fix for the next few years.

I’m not irritated, more shocked at how often women are knocking down other women. We should at least try to build each other up.

At this point I will sincerely apologise again for correcting spelling & grammar on here.

As PP said, I read the start if the first post. Then later the 3rd post popped up in my active so I clicked to see if it had been resolved and it was just a load of nonsense about a musical.

Why is it an issue to you whether I read it and become annoyed or don't?

Hmm... how strange that a male poster has chosen some examples of double standards which cast men in a negative light. How about the million and one double standards which make life hard for women whilst men benefit?

Hmm…There is a lot of double standards on here, I’ve already pointed it too. I’m a woman and I see it on here all the time.

I really hate the newish thing where the odd sanctimonious poster (I imagine them posting with a simpering smile) reminds others we should be kind/lift each other up/be women supporting women.

Fuck off with all that bollocks.

Nope. Try harder. I'm a woman and I agree with him. The double standards on here make me pissed off that I might be associated with women like that by virtue of my sex.

The spelling/grammar thing reminds me of a major MN double standard. Apparently it's absolutely fine to castigate another poster for their housework/cleaning/washing standards, sex life, how they bring up their children, how they do their work, their driving, their cooking, how they spend their money, etc etc. However, dare to suggest that another poster's writing isn't very clear, or that they could usefully avoid using "myself" instead of "I" or "me", and you're treated like you've committed an absolutely heinous offence. WTF?

@zyq I agree.

But what the grammar pedants seem to forget is that not everyone is posting in their first language, sometimes there are regional variations in terminology or they might have been tripped up by autocorrect.

I'm more surprised about how boastful people seem to be about their lack of numeracy and that this is something that must never be questioned. People seem to be proud to be unable to do primary school maths such as very simple percentages.

In general, the number of contributors who seem to want to start an argument or be nasty. This has become much worse recently - I honestly think a thread about the best time to put the bins out could descend into world war 3 within 10 mins.

On a specific point, the use of the word much at the end of sentence (patronising, much?) or even worse muchly. Who speaks like that in real life?!

Yes, but similar issues could equally arise in relation to people's driving, cooking, housekeeping etc, but no-one treats the posters who tear people apart for those things as major criminals.

For me it's the people replying on AIBU threads whom think that because they think the OP is unreasonable.. the OP has to change their mind and agree that they are.

They say something like "why did you post on AIBU if you don't want to accept that you're being unreasonable?"

Er, because I/they am interested in hearing what others think. Posting there doesn't come with a caveat that you must change your mind and go along with the status quo.

So many to choose from but...

People who quickly read the OP and then dump their response without bothering to check and see:

• that the conversation has moved on or the initial problem has been resolved
• that there's 950 responses saying what they are going to say
• that the thread is years old, the OP is long gone and now they've thrown it back in Active where another bunch of post dumpers will keep it alive for weeks.

If you'd humour me with a second gripe it'd be the people who come to a thread late and start throwing in a heap of quote posts to argue with everybody, sometimes going back days or weeks. It completely ruins the flow of the conversation and makes them look like a twat.

Op not responding

Oh, and now everyone prefaces their post with awaiting diagnosis/ I am autistic, to seemingly excuse bad behavior

Let's call her....
Hubs, hubby
Instantly click out and hide thread.

My latest one is how no-one is apparently able to talk about booking a holiday without justifying it with how they've 'had a terrible year'.

This is on a website where people's basic expectation of living standards is a house near the best schools with sufficient bedrooms so that no DC need to share and can fit a double bed, a guest room and one or even two home offices, an electric car and close to £1k pm on groceries because they need a punnet of blueberries per person per day.

But an annual family holiday is a ridiculous indulgence that you must be grovellingly apologetic to be able to afford.

I am pleased that for me the most irritating thing has been changed. You can now correct typing mistakes or make changes to comments for a few minutes.

Being interested in what people think is fine, if the OP is able to accept that some or most may say the OP is being unreasonable. Just as posters should not expect OP to change their mind, posters should not be expected by OP that they should change their minds, because OP is already certain she is in the right. My comment is about OP getting defensive and aggressive when people do say what they think.