People using the wrong words for things - does it drive anyone else up the wall?

[LanisHouseLot]

I was recently staying with relatives and one kept offering and making Welsh rarebit. Lovely! Except that it was just cheese on toast. I like cheese on toast too but it is definitely not Welsh rarebit. I had to bite my tongue from saying anything because despite feeling enraged i have no desire to make anyone feel stupid or corrected. But it was bubbling up inside nonetheless!

Today I saw a 'High Tea' event advertised. Little sandwiches and cakes, cups and saucers etc - clearly afternoon tea rather than high tea. Why does it bug me so much that I'm still thinking about it and wanting to tell the organiser, and all the women looking forward to their high tea, that they've made a terrible mistake and that high tea isn't what they think it is?! Does anyone else find it unbearable?

I am similar about apostrophe misuse and spelling mistakes (despite not seeing my own mistakes half the time ). These errors are even more infuriating because it is entirely the wrong thing being described.

I find it so annoying. I have ended friendships because people used the wrong word although I can't think of any pacific examples at the moment.

pacific indeed

'Twas ever thus. Language changes, adapts, moves, appropriates, as society does.
Words are rarely fixed points.

You know what is correct. Others don't. But it's all moving.

High tea was a thing we had when visiting family who lived a long drive away. It was something like a ham salad followed by cakes and tea. It would be served about 5 or 6 o'clock.

Not particularly relevant but I was listening to the radio this morning. A man being interviewed used the word literally four times. The word literally added nothing to what he was saying.

@splatmouse , you used it incorrectly. USA isn't an acronym.

@LanisHouseLot that reminds me of the time I was out with some friends and for some unknown reason we were discussing what we'd eaten that day. I said that I'd had tomatoes on toast.

One woman said "you mean bruscetta?" I told her that no, it wasn't bruscetta, it was tomatoes on toast. She patronisingly (is that a word?) told me "that is bruscetta but I wouldn't expect someone like you to realise that".

I now fancy High Tea. My version of High tea is served between 5 and 6.30 and comprises:

Ham, cheese, pickles, salad, possibly some hard boiled eggs, pork pie, bread and butter and fruit cake.

I think I have avoided the Oxford comma but to be entirely honest I don't give a flying.

@QueenOfTheEntireFuckingUniverse , patronisingly is definitely a word.
Did your friend say brusketta or brushetta? She sounds a right knob

@RosesAndHellebores And nowadays some people might refer to that as " picky bits " and include hommous instead of pork pie and probably swap fruitcake for a yogurt.

I thought it was a word, but my phone didn't like it.

I can't actually remember how she said it, it was just the way she was so adamant I was wrong, and that I obviously didn't know what bruscetta was on account of not being as good as her.
She's more of an acquaintance than a friend tbh.

High tea to me means sandwiches and cakes. Just like afternoon tea.

Never equated it with cooked food. Cooked food is for normal for tea round my neck of the woods. We have tea in the evening.

Do you mean “contacting” not “contracting?

Sorry! Finding the sentence confusing 😄

I am ESOL (well ETOL to be exact), and my English is not perfect (commas especially) but... Apostrophes.
"Fresh Snadwiche's", "Cake's" and so on. Whyyyyy?
And "of" instead of "have". That one is a killer. The thing is, these are a basic English not some advanced grammar or really hard to spell words.

So I am joining your hypocrite club.

This how I know I am not posh….i call this picky tea 🤣😂

No it isn’t!

An Oxford comma would be “scones, sandwiches, and savouries”

I consider “an unnecessary Oxford comma” to be a tautology 😂.

At a certain point you just have to let people be wrong. No point tearing your own hair out over it. Some people are very confidently wrong about things. No point wasting too much of your energy on them.

Abbreviation is the umbrella term for a shortened phrase of a written word or phrase. Initialisms and acronyms are types of abbreviations. Not all abbreviations are acronyms but all acronyms are abbreviations!

To me that's a ploughman's with a bit of cake.

High tea is often used to make it sound fancy, but didn't it just mean that it was eaten on high chairs and sat at the table? It's a working class tradition and term if anything.

It might mean that to you but it's not what it actually means which is when it gets confusing.

High tea is certainly not posh. It could also include quiche, coleslaw, boiled potatoes, pasta/bean salady bits, etc.

I think the difference between high tea and a picky tea is that a picky tea doesn't need knives and forks. For example, crudités, dips, crisps, chicken drumsticks, cut up quiche/pizza/pork pie, mini sausages, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, grapes, etc.

@QueenOfTheEntireFuckingUniverse , bruschetta is just fancy toast. I'd expect something like a grilled baguette with olive oil and garlic on it.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow , I wouldn't expect high tea to be hot food.
Tea can be afternoon tea or a cooked meal after work.

@BeachBeerBbq , it's because you had to learn English (as did I). Acquaintances who have acquired English by immersion did not learn it in the same way.

@PedantScorner I know what bruscetta is. I also know that it isn't sliced hovis that's been grilled with slices of tomato on.

@TimeandMotion , I consider “an unnecessary Oxford comma” to be a tautology 😂.
@RosesAndHellebores' "Ham, cheese, pickles, salad, possibly some hard boiled eggs, pork pie, bread and butter and fruit cake."
would be improved by using an Oxford comma. The bread and butter is one item.

@TimeandMotion

Yes it is!

You were looking in the wrong place 🤔

It might mean that to you but it's not what it actually means which is when it gets confusing.

Which is why we have the word 'diversity'.