Older women: how do you come to terms with losing your looks?

[TERFCat]

Yes, I know I'm vain! To be clear, I am not judging anyone's appearance but my own! I don't want to look old; other women can look however they wish.

Anyway, I've completely lost my looks over the past few years and it's getting me down. I can't afford Botox etc so that isn't an option.

Older ladies, how did you accept growing old gracefully?!?

I think your looks change. I don’t think you lose them. I’m 58 now.

What do you mean by 'losing your looks'?

I'm almost 65 and, obviously, I don't look like I did when I was 25, or 35 or 55! Why would I?

But I look like me. A healthy and happy version of me.

So I guess you would say I've grown old gracefully.

I cleanse and tone and moisturise. I drink plenty of water. But that's all I do!

I think inner confidence from life experience and genuinely not giving a shit shine through!

plus all of what @BIWI said!

The one thing I don't do and won't accept, which does make a big difference to how I look though, is to have my hair coloured. I pay a stupid amount of money at the hairdresser every 3 months or so to have my highlights/colour done!

I don’t mind looking old so there’s nothing to come to terms with.

"Lose your looks" makes it sound as though there is a point in life when you have them and then they take off somewhere! That is not so.

When you are 20, you have 20 year old looks, when you are 30 you have 30 year old looks etc. etc. You do not lose anything; you simply change. That's fine. Just embrace it.

I’ve let my white streaks shine through, love them. Get loads of comments from others saying wish they could!!

Just do what makes you happy

It's either looking older or death so if you're happy being alive then you need to get used to it!

Sorry, I should have been more articulate; I'm losing my youthful looks.

But what does that even mean @TERFCat?!

I know what you mean OP, it is a tricky thing for some people to come to terms with, you are treated differently as you age, especially as a woman. It can be hard to have that reminder of your life moving from the youthful phase to the older phase. I think embracing it helps - the freedoms of kids getting older, retirement approaching, being past some of the worries of being younger like caring what people think!

Hah! I’m not losing my looks at all. Every day I become a bit more comfortable in my own skin. I’m a bit less concerned about my hairstyle and a bit more thoughtful about the way I can leave a positive footprint behind me. Bollocks to stressing about wrinkles and cellulite and all those other things.

How old are you?

1. I’d rather be aging than the alternative
2. I have a personality and a lot going for me besides my looks
3. I have things to focus on other than looks, hobbies are more important to me
4. I have great friends who don’t care what I look like
5. I keep active and physically fit - I might have a slight tummy these days but I still ran 15km up hills this morning! Focus on what my body can do rather than looks
6. I remind myself that all the people I know who have tried to cling on to their youth (Botox, surgery, going OTT on the tanning & teeth whitening etc) actually just look a bit odd and not good

I don't sweat it. I'm grateful I'm still here for the gift of growing old. I'm not quite 50 but my dad was dead before the age I am now so I'm not going to waste time worrying about looking older.

I’m not losing my looks - what a cheek! I just look different, which is to be expected - if I looked 25 now that I’m 55 I would look odd. I’m healthy and happy, I have a confidence that comes with age and I’m not trying to impress anyone which is very liberating. I’m also acutely aware that some of my peers haven’t made it to this age and I’m very fortunate.

Thank you. I like this.

I'd say I was very attractive in my teens and 20s and to some people that makes it harder to deal with aging. However I was never vain, never wore makeup, not interested in looking in the mirror.
So when I realised I no longer turned heads I guess I was a bit nostalgic but just shrugged it off.
I'm 66 now and while I still weigh the same as at 26 I really look my age and don't care. Far more important to me is good health ( or lack of).

It's a bit dispiriting when you can't put on a touch of mascara, slick of lipstick and head out. The shadows under the eyes because of eye drops. But much more than my looks the aches and pains get me down.

So it's my physical health now

I didn’t have any in the first place so it hasn’t been that painful.

Oh and I speak as someone who was considered very attractive until I was about 38 - literally used to get told I should be a model regularly

I get OP I really do. I am certainly not as attractive/beautiful as I once one and I often say I am losing my looks. it can be hard to accept, over the years I’ve tried Botox, facials etc but now I don’t bother and apart from colouring my hair I try not to think about it much. I’ve kind of embraced the fact that I look natural and I look my age and that’s ok.

I just try to look the best I can for my age. I don’t want to look younger.

You don’t lose your looks as you age, you lose your youth and to many that means they lose their vibrancy and confidence.

Agree with this. I'm a hot 54 year old. 😆 I just happen to look like what I am, a Gen Xer - and I'm very okay with that.

Beauty can be found at every age. But perhaps you need to stop comparing the you of today with the you of 5/10/15? years ago and remember you are the youngest now that you'll ever be. Live now. 😉

i never cared much what I looked like anyway - always had other more interesting things to be concerned about. I probably look better now than I ever did in the past.