Older women: how do you come to terms with losing your looks?

[TERFCat]

Yes, I know I'm vain! To be clear, I am not judging anyone's appearance but my own! I don't want to look old; other women can look however they wish.

Anyway, I've completely lost my looks over the past few years and it's getting me down. I can't afford Botox etc so that isn't an option.

Older ladies, how did you accept growing old gracefully?!?

Also, I know this is cheesy and has probably been said a lot on here on various threads, but I am happy to get old. It's a privilege denied to many.

I suppose you’ve got the choice of making the best of ageing, embracing the benefits and concentrating on other areas of your life, or getting depressed about your aged face.

It’s still fairly normal to look in the mirror and think Oh bollocks my face is collapsing, my gums are receding and I’ve got a creased forehead

It doesn’t mean you’ve got terribly low self esteem or you’re a shallow person that only gets validation from men.

I think it’s fairly normal and I’m a bit sceptical about people claiming they love “everything” about ageing.

Well yes, my parents have just turned 80 and joke darkly that their social life for the last ten years has mainly been funerals 😕

I've embraced the fuck out of it tbh 😂

As a feminist I was a bit dismayed at first, I hadn't noticed until I turned 40 how much I really cared. My face has turned saggy and jowly. I look tired. I've gained about 3 stone.

I'm kind of sad. But I don't want to become a slave to it.

I had a bit of a weird crisis at 40. Got a lot of tattoos, I found that helpful, I now love the body parts I hated because they're now beautiful leaves and trees and berries. I've quit bras.ive basically totally changed what I aspire to.

Fuck it. I'm not young anymore. I want to be comfy. According to my appalled MIL
I now look like a scruffy lesbian. 😂

Actually I had a personal tragedy above and beyond so I'm more than qualified to utter the 'dead' shite which I don't, because it's trite rubbish.

I was a punk. Now I’m an old punk. Only difference is the my resting bitch face looks like I mean it now.

Im not keen on the growing old gracefully thing. I’ve bounced through life for decades as monumental clusterfuck and don’t see why I should try and be graceful now. Wear what you want and do whatever you want to your hair and face too as long as make YOU happy.

My sons both early forties with young children are now burying friends. That's distressing because I remember them as young children. They're leaving young children behind.

Whereas I've a funeral for a friend my age who's been to hell with a rare brain condition. But his was a life well lived.

@neilyoungismyhero Nah it's not, it's positive advice. Agree to disagree.

I found someone who finds me incredibly sexy and I have a lot of sex, great for the body and the spirit.

I don’t think the two chains of thought in this thread are necessarily mutually exclusive- I can feel grateful I’m alive (especially as someone with chronic long term disabilities), appreciate my body for what it can do, and yet I’d still rather wake up with a face that isn’t my mid 40s self. I mean there’s nothing I can do about it beyond making the most of what I’ve got but yeah I’m not enjoying seeing myself in the mirror like I was and I feel it’s okay to be honest about that.

I'm desperately trying to lose the 3 stone I've gained - but that aside, I'm happy. What's the alternative? I nearly died last year so happy to still be here. So I've got grey hairs coming through and wrinkles. Who cares! It's hard to realise that no 19 year old is ever going to fancy me again (they did right up until the ripe old age of 35!) but honestly, I look at 50+ guys now and see the attraction in a way I didn't before.

such honest views on this thread..👍

don't think I'll ever have sex again..😕 am 64, mind you probably forgotten how!😄

It's exactly that. after menopause I give zero fucks about being desirable for the male gaze or about their opinions or anything like that at all I just don't care.

I've become asexual and don't care about sex at all either.

All of this has been very freeing for me

My husband has become asexual involuntarily due to surgery. I can't tell you how hard that was for me for some years. It broke something in our relationship.

😔 sad

Looks are overrated - I want to be as awesome as these women when I get older!

alexrotasphotography.co.uk/galleries/british-masters-open-outdoor-championships-2021/

I try to keep an eye on my weight. There's nothing more ageing than being overweight. I colour my hair and keep it shoulder length. And I moisturise and wear the same sort of clothes as I always did - jeans, jumpers, trainers. It's easy. I'm 72.

Wow! but you can see some of those ladies used to be beautiful in the past, probably got used to being higher achievers because of their looks👍 check out the stats if you think that's a generalisation..

I'm going to try it. I've used rimmel before, time to bring in the big guns!

I used YSL in the past, but find the L'Oréal one just as good.

Absolutely agree - these women (and men) are inspirational.

I'd love to join their sports club

Wow that photography is amazing. I am in awe of the female pole vaulters. Just wow.

So impressive, and glowing, not “used to beautiful” but “are beautiful, healthy, vibrant, extraordinary”

I must be much more shallow and vain than most women, if this thread is anything to go by! By 53, I looked terrible. And in my youth, I was quite pretty, so it stung. I had hooded eyes, eye bags, a triple chin, a chicken neck and jowls. It was quite depressing. So I opted to have an upper and lower bleph, face lift and neck lift 6 months ago. I feel so much better. None of that detracts from being older and wiser, because I'm still that person on the inside. But losing all the unsightly bags and jowls, has done wonders for my confidence, and has made me feel more like me. I would 100% do it all over again.

A friend similar age saved up for a boob reduction, she was otherwise tiny and slender. Had a lot of back issues.

She then started saving again for a neck and lower face lift. The results of that were astonishing.

She too had been so pretty until her mid fifties. Felt depressed, had the money, worked in a public facing role.

I've had teeth implants because many doses of antibiotics as a child resulted in weak striped teeth. Am I vain? Perhaps but I really couldn't have a plate with my gag reflex.