Older women: how do you come to terms with losing your looks?

[TERFCat]

Yes, I know I'm vain! To be clear, I am not judging anyone's appearance but my own! I don't want to look old; other women can look however they wish.

Anyway, I've completely lost my looks over the past few years and it's getting me down. I can't afford Botox etc so that isn't an option.

Older ladies, how did you accept growing old gracefully?!?

I actually think I look better now for my age (early 60s) than I did in my 20s! I have more confidence and style!

I’m feeling the same. I’m 43 and really hate the way I look now.

Why would you want to look young? If you were an attractive 20 year old then you’ll still be an attractive 30, 40, 50 year old…. If you’re 40 why would you want to look 20?

Good question op. I'm 48.
My struggle is that my style has always been very casual. Rock t shirt and converse type thing with occasionally dressier on a night out..
When I was young, had a beautiful mane of hair, and only had to flash a glimpse of hip bone with crop top and low sling somethings to look sexy, that worked.
Now if I try that super casual look, I just look unkempt. 🤣 But it still feels like me. 🙈
I'm slowly trying to adapt but lots more effort to look a fraction as good is frustrating. I'm finding alternatives that feel like me but also make me look a bit more put together.
Like pp though I concentrate on what my body can do so I'm fit and I'm learning new skills and that protects me from some disappointments. I'm not fighting medical issues yet, but some my age are so I'm more focused on staying out of that camp as a priority.

I spent the whole of my teens and twenties waiting to turn from a caterpillar into a butterfly, it did not happen. I was happier in my 30's, less happy in my 40's and now in my 50's I just do me. I was never going to be classically beautiful or stunning, but have inherited my Granny and Mum's lovely skin. The rest of me is short, fat and alternative but I love my hair and get lots of compliments about it.

Losing your looks is an outdated expression.
You live within your looks.

This is why women now use unhealthy chemical procedures .

Bloody cheek! Not all of us lose our looks!

I have maintained my face and my figure thank you very much.

Never mind the semantics, I am definitely losing my looks- my face looks like it's partially melted. I'm working on building my physical strength and looking after my skin, as those things feel positive and attainable. I feel very lucky that I can exercise without limitations from pain or illness. I'm also a happier person than I was in the days of bountiful collagen, so feel like ageing in general is going well really.

I was just thinking the same ! I've also never been one for wearing much make-up. I do have my hair highlighted but there will come a point soon where I will need to embrace the grey !

Too much to say about this.
I feel very low about looking older at the moment but I usually don't.
I saw a picture of myself at 23 yesterday and it was such a shock - I looked really great - I wish I'd known how great I looked 😂

What's pi*^%ing me off at the moment is the yellowish skin round my eyes. That is depressing me.

I don't give it much thought. I don't really look in the mirror much. Don't wear make-up so I'm never peering that much at myself.

I don't think I've lost my looks. I look older because I am older. I don't get why that's meant to bother me.

@TERFCat yep understand what you're saying..I think am looking awful now..but still try to keep fit..
Ageing is a bummer

Being happy with your life, career, friendships and family helps. Not being much of a looker when young definitely helps.

Looking beautiful, sexually attractive?

Not saying it’s the be all and end all but beauty and youthful good looks are a thing, and I think we all know what is meant by that.

People age differently as well. Some just look exactly the same but different skin texture, maybe a bit less plump. Others’ appearance changes drastically.

Fortunately for us, nature has arranged it so that it happens at the same time as menopausal rage hits, and we don't give a shit about what other people think of us.

hth

Don't worship youth. All young people don't look great anyway.

I am finding it hard. I have put on 20 pounds in the last two years, my hair greys faster than before and my skin looks much older. I am in my late 40s. Today a woman (in her mid to late 70s ) asked me if I was ‘still working’. Presumably she wasn’t sure if I was retired which means she thought I looked nearly twenty years older than I am. I was ready to cry!

It’s really really hard.

I haven't lost my looks! I am 60. I have never bothered with any make up or putting muck on my face or anything like that, I just look like me, happy, confident and myself

@isitbananatimealready - that's so true, and thank the gods for it!

You know, we all have to get old, don't you?!

It's a nonsense to think that at 40 we'll look like we did at 20 or that at 60 we'll look like we did at 40.

Stop trying to buy into to all the nonsense being peddled by the media that we can stay looking so youthful.

And also - there's absolutely NOTHING wrong about ageing. Surely as we age, we gather wisdom?!

I experienced sadness around this in my mid forties. Even though I still looked younger, I felt like I was on the cusp of something. I wasn't sure what. I think I made it my priority to look HEALTHY, STYLISH, ''ATTRACTIVE''. This is different from desirable of course, but you can consciously accept it.

I just don't have a problem with looking older than I did when I was younger! I'm 52. I can honestly say that I never feel bad about looking older. It's just... normal.

Well, it's not always easy. I have to do a lot of zoom meetings, I hate looking at myself. I try as hard as I can to focus on how I feel, not how I look, and to be grateful that I am alive when others I know are not. I think the less you look at yourself and the more you just live the better. But that in itself is hard.

I hear you OP and struggle to come to terms with someone in the mirror I no longer recognise, saggy jowls and colour has drained from skin and eyes