Things you simply cannot be arsed with anymore

[TheEverlovingFork]

Now I'm in my 40s there's so much I simply can't be arsed with and I don't know if this is normal -I am hitting meno a bit early for medical reasons as confirmed by my doc. Here are a few things I recently threw in the fuck-it bucket:

Fiddly care instructions on clothes: like 'Can only be dry cleaned on a tuesday in the rain by a man whose name begins with S' who has the FUCKING TIME if it isn't easycare it's basically out of my life at this point.

Guilt guilt and more guilt about whatever standard for women I'm failing to hit this week. This is my face/body/newly grey hair piss off.

Over-fawning socialised bs at work or what I call the F-email, you know, where you have to put friendly little exclamation marks and non-confrontational jollity on every damn thing because women can't be to-the-point and factual without being hag bitches. No problem if not!

Most men and whatever they're doing. Do it somewhere over there and be quieter while you're doing it thanks.

Pandering to everyone's different hurt political feelings, I am an adult and can respectfully disagree on an issue. I understand how incredibly emotive a lot of what's going on in the world is, but I no longer have time for 'your opinion upsets me and that makes you a bad human being, actually'

Anyway - gosh yes reading that back I can see why they're talking about HRT 😳

Is this normal for meno? Did you hit 40 and throw half your life in the fuck-it-bucket?

I think the next time I have an appraisal at work I'll just ask my boss if he fancies a shag instead

I think he might say yes

I can't be arsed getting changed out of my pj's to do the school run. I actually started this last year, except I would still put a bra on. This year, no bra. Can't be arsed.

🍿 for the sexual harassment tribunal that follows.

Its not Menopause.

Its just that Meno happens to coincide with reaching an age where you realise what actually matters. And, crucially, what doesnt.

For me its a lesson I was brought up with....

"What will people think?!" Looks, choices, jobs, etc etc

Who the fuck cares?! Unless they are actively contributing to my life, or I am actively hurting them, why does their opinion of me matter? Once I realised that, two things happened. One is that I was so much happier and relaxed, two is that the people who were judging me were very pissed off that I didnt care. Win:Win!

Networking
team building
icebreakers
people pleasing
dressing ‘appropriately’
nylon
waxing eyebrows
shit overpriced coffee from the majority of coffee shops when I make better coffee at home
competitive busyness
cinemas and all the noisy hell of watching a movie with other phone scrolling, popcorn munching smelly people.
external validation

Menopause is a super power and my only regret is that I have come to all these realisations very late!

Ugh. Agree soooo much with. Just about all of this.

New boss this year. He thought I was kidding when I said I'm not bothering with the appraisal this year ( or 'conversation' as they call it here ). I said have no ambition to go further. I do a good job, there is no scope to go anywhere and basically this is God's waiting room for me. I'm 59 and can't wait to retire.

I've had a mastectomy and sometimes I can't be arsed to wear a foob in my bra and am considering buying one of the new unobras (only 1 cup). I still wear wrap and v-neck tops which mean my scars may be on display and I actually don't care. They're my scars and I don't care about the menz sensibilities.

When we have interminably long meetings at work there's always some arsehole who closes the window behind me (usually a man) cos they are cold. So I have said you can either have the minutes taken or a closed window. We now always have 'my' window open. I have been told that I am slightly scary but that's because I don't GAF anymore. I have their diaries and no-one wants back to back meetings all day. I might be petty but I'll take the power (not much) where I can.

For some strange reason the other women in the workplace seem to take note and have now started acting up as well

I agree with a lot of the comments on here. I am early 50s. Had my development conversations at work and they always seem shocked I don't want to better myself doing courses, further education or go up a grade. Mentally I could not cope with the next grade and they always insist on a degree. I feel though I have more commonsense than alot of the people doing these jobs. Also socially if I don't want to do something I won't. Used to be a people pleaser. I have been told I am a bit scarey too. I hears someone talk about me that they better tidy up in the communal kitchen or I would be unhappy and also I am in charge of some meeting rooms Nd people just go in them without booking. I heard a young lad say to someone you better don't do that or treacledan71 won't be happy.

Peeling vegetables. It feels astonishing to remember that years ago I used to stand there and peel all the skin off potatoes and carrots. Why? Ironing is another thing I can't believe I ever wasted time on.

I've never been very tactful about ingratiating nonsense so I hope I don't get worse with menopause. I'll end up fired if o get much blunter.

Sorry for my typos, I can't seem to edit it again.

Hosting my extended family, listening to their bullshit while biting my tongue. Trying to find a polite way to get out of Easter when I really want to yell NO!

I feel as though I am in good company here.
It would be easier to make a small list of things that I can be arsed with these days.

Agree with all, OP but fuck am I going to take HRT. After almost 40 years of pills to not get pregnant, pills to get pregnant, more pills to not get pregnant, more pills to get pregnant, pregnancies, breast feeding not to mention all the non-woman-related pills, there is no way on God’s green earth that I’m going to take yet MORE pills unless they’re for my personal happiness (eg I sleep better, my eyes don’t itch so much, sex is more enjoyable etc). I am NOT going to take them to make me more palatable to society by being less grumpy or angry or moody. Society can deal with me the way I am. It’s about time now.

I get where you are coming from….but the relatively low levels of oestrogen in hrt are only replacing your own oestrogen…so they help sleep, stop joint ache, keep your bones healthy and your vagina healthy.

I haven't been arsed about a lot of things for many years. The latest is work, I gave up one year and one week before I was entitled to superannuation. It's worked out brilliantly!

As regards washing labels - if it doesn't say dry clean only it goes in with everything else and takes its chances. My housework is done to my standards, and I don't care about anyone else's. I decided I should bake instead of buying from shops - that didn't last long! I see people cooking all sorts of fancy things and wondered if I should do it - nah.

If I don't want to go to something, or do something, and it doesn't cause upset to anyone else then I just don't go/do - and I started that in my late teens.

Luckily I live alone, so don't have to consider anyone else in my lifestyle 😅

Footnote: I do however enjoy ironing so that gets done. Laundry is the only household chore I can be arsed with.

Misogyny... sexism...patriarchy
Im not down with that. Once youve seen it ....

I just can't be arsed with false people. Sadly it's a hazard of my job as no one will admit to behaving badly, but God sometimes I just want to scream at them.

Being seen without make up on. Don't care, my skin is actually pretty decent.

Comfy clothes for the win!

And this 😂.
I can see fake a mile off. Its cringey.
Liars too.. I have a strong bullshit spidey sense...no please dont insult my intelligence...i find it rude

Being quiet and hardworking at work under the radar. Honestly the one good thing from Meno rage is I have just started saying what I want. Not in a nasty way just that I recently got a promotion by asking for it and selling myself in a no BS way because I was over other people's incompetence.
So letting myself go unnoticed I suppose. Get in the bucket.
Same with my free time, if I don't want to do something it's just No straight out.
Now if only the fat and pre-diabetes and snoring would get in the bucket I'd be content.

Over-fawning socialised bs at work or what I call the F-email, you know, where you have to put friendly little exclamation marks and non-confrontational jollity on every damn thing because women can't be to-the-point and factual without being hag bitches. No problem if not!

This! And what you said about having to pander to people whose feelings are hurt by hearing a different opinion.

I quite agree!

HRT was not about society not being able to deal with me. But me not being able to deal with me.

I couldn’t sleep ( worst was waking at midnight and not being able to get back to sleep then having to try and work the next day on two hours sleep), and cunt was so sore I couldn’t wear trousers or sit down comfortably

HRT sorted it all.

HRT saved my marriage. I don't care about taking more pills if they keep me sane and healthy in later life, with energy to exercise.

I'm 32 and my ovaries and plodding along as normal and I still feel like all of this with further cynicism and resentment.on top...

Tights, OP. Somewhere around your age I gave up tights. I was sick of the rashes they caused on my lower legs and decided never to wear them again. Leggings and socks, for me, were the way to go.

Workplace drama.

I've got embroiled in workplace drama sparked by the work narcissist and it’s just a whole thing that I’m too tired to deal with. I’m sad that she’s telling lies about me and people are believing it. I’m really hacked off that I need a reference from them because I’m leaving soon to do a year long training course and this thing is going to be front and centre of their minds when they write it.

Wish I still had a small child only for the reason so I can do the school run and not give a f* about all that school gate mum nonsense.