Things you simply cannot be arsed with anymore

[TheEverlovingFork]

Now I'm in my 40s there's so much I simply can't be arsed with and I don't know if this is normal -I am hitting meno a bit early for medical reasons as confirmed by my doc. Here are a few things I recently threw in the fuck-it bucket:

Fiddly care instructions on clothes: like 'Can only be dry cleaned on a tuesday in the rain by a man whose name begins with S' who has the FUCKING TIME if it isn't easycare it's basically out of my life at this point.

Guilt guilt and more guilt about whatever standard for women I'm failing to hit this week. This is my face/body/newly grey hair piss off.

Over-fawning socialised bs at work or what I call the F-email, you know, where you have to put friendly little exclamation marks and non-confrontational jollity on every damn thing because women can't be to-the-point and factual without being hag bitches. No problem if not!

Most men and whatever they're doing. Do it somewhere over there and be quieter while you're doing it thanks.

Pandering to everyone's different hurt political feelings, I am an adult and can respectfully disagree on an issue. I understand how incredibly emotive a lot of what's going on in the world is, but I no longer have time for 'your opinion upsets me and that makes you a bad human being, actually'

Anyway - gosh yes reading that back I can see why they're talking about HRT 😳

Is this normal for meno? Did you hit 40 and throw half your life in the fuck-it-bucket?

Baking
Hosting
Making the kids eat all meals at the table
Staying with people
Pandering to my parents
Heels
Handbags
Christmas cards
Birthday presents for people I rarely see
Playdates
Hanging onto ‘mementos’
Going overboard at Christmas
Nagging my teens not to swear
Tight rules around PlayStation use
Guilt
Perfectionism
Over-committing myself to stuff
Shaving legs
Wearing much make-up
Saying sorry all the time
Being vegetarian
Buying only French wine
Having a tidy house

….on reflection, I’ve basically become a total slattern! 😝

Too many examples to list but actually cannot be arsed with the entitlement of people these days and the comparisons and I need everything now mentality.
save up and pay for luxuries when you can !!

I set aside a lot of time to thinking about what I need to be happy, healthy and relaxed, and then doing those things. What's left is spent on doing the same for the people I love.

That obviously doesn't leave a lot of time for boring shit like going the extra mile at work or scrubbing skirting boards.

I didn't link it to menopause - but absolutely everything is blamed on peri/menopause these days if you're female and 35+ so why not.

I’m doing quite well with most of these but I’m stuck with the appraisal bullshit unfortunately. Every 6 months I tell my boss I’m just not interested, she giggles, all amused by my lols, sigh.
She’s one of those people who has never broken a rule or told a lie in her life. Completely incapable of not doing everything by the book, gah.

I'm so here with this. I am in my fifties. I have given birth, breast fed, miscarried, suffered drenching periods and crippling hormonal migraine, none of which you will ever experience if you were born with a cock and balls. It doesn't matter how much lipstick you fucking wear, Trevor.

In response to stupid questions about goal setting and career aspirations and learning needs I just say on repeat "this month/year I really just want to consolidate in my current role" and give some vague BS goal like networking more, or taking time out each week to read up on the industry. Even if you've been doing the same thing for 20 years and are fabulous at it, it gives the box tickers something to work with and they get off your back.

Friendships which drain me and don’t add anything to my life.
social events I don’t want to attend.
Heels
Housework
Cooking anything more than a basic meal
Dealing with people who aren’t very nice
Speaking to my mother
Feeling I need to sort out family relationships and issues
Needing to problem solve and rescue others
Inviting anyone round
Having anyone to stay bar my children
I’m working on not feeling it’s my responsibility to give everyone else a great Xmas /birthday whilst having a crap one myself.
Feeling I have to make an effort with family members I don’t actually like and who make no effort for me.

YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!

So well put by you all! For men to think they can leapfrog into a frock and earrings and be Esmerelda, when I have had periods for the last 45 years, leaky pants at school, dripped onto chairs and had that mortification, depressing hormones, cramps, pregnancies, births and needing to be stitched up, nipples that feel like they are being sliced when feeding, now the menopause - NO, you cannot leapfrog it all with your in tact dick and decide you are a woman.

The relief of finally NOT being there for everyone in my family (bar my children). I am not at the beck and call with a smile anymore.

I will not share a room when going away.

I dont care to go out at the weekends or evenings thanks.

Makeup every day. I put it on when I fancy it (rarely), not because I worry about people being shocked by my naked face.

Going out when I'd rather stay in. This includes entertaining the DC at the weekend. I run around three evenings a week and all day on Saturday taking them to their various activities. Sunday is my day for a lie-in and reading a book on the sofa.

Ironing. The tumble dryer does a perfectly adequate job for everything except linen and I never buy that because I CBA.

High heels. They make my legs look great but I'd prefer to be comfortable.

I think it started after I had kids. I nearly died, my body was permanently damaged, so I no longer give a shit about hurty feelz. Other people have actual real problems, come back when you have something worth being upset about.

• High heels
• uncomfortable wired and padded bras
• shaving my legs
• driving to work (get the bus now, more relaxing not having to stress over finding a space etc)
• posting on FB, insta etc
• Christmas cards
• valentines day

I now don’t contribute to endless work collections or sign birthday cards for colleagues (because you can celebrate this with your actual friends and family) unless I’ve worked directly with them and liked/they’ve been helpful to me. One of my colleagues queried why I put a tenner into the collection of an admin assistant to which I reply because she made my work so much easier and pleasant

🤣🤣

I absolutely love this idea ^.
I would apply. Not sure how fearless I’m, probably not, but I’m very good at avoiding direct attacks; can definitely recognise bullshit and can even predict it in some cases.
I can’t be arsed with cleaning, hosting, over polite explanations and following the latest fashion trends.
I can’t be arsed with sex atm but wouldn’t mind to change this situation however I can’t be arsed with working on it. Out of S words I prefer “sleep”

Yes but I'm almost 40. I swear that I woke up one day and part of my brain had died. Mostly around pleasing people and chasing being socail. I have my mates and really just can't be arsed. Anything to do with my looks too! Clothes, hairdressers. It's weird. I'm not where near being peri either. My mum went through the menopause at 56! 😨

Love that name,the Fuck-It-Bucket. 😂 And I agree with every one that you've listed, especially the one about men!

Amen !!!!!! Love it 😍

Uncomfortable clothes/ shoes ! I just do not care enough about how things look any more .
If it’s not soft / stretchy / sporty type fabric I just don’t buy it . Simple 😎!

I've found my people! I never realised there were so many can't-be-arsed/don't give a fuck Mumsnetters out there!

Really?! You're clearly on the wrong boards! Try feminism, or relationships. Or any post asking how often people bathe/change their sheets/iron.

All those things and more, since I was a teen. I'm autistic, which may be why.

Yup, I veer between fuck that, can't be arsed and fuck off, with a sprinkling of FFS. It is liberating. Never been happier. 😁

Not putting myself, my comfort, wellbeing and pleasure first.
Turns out nobody else ever did.

Same

I'm 64 and have finally run out of fucks to give. It took me a while to reach this blissful state of zero fucks given but my God it's glorious! At first I thought I was depressed or something....not wanting to go out , not wanting to listen to endless, mindless inane small talk. Not wanting to always "look my best" ...not wanting to argue a point because actually I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks. Then I realised that far from being depressed I was emancipated. I love that a lot of PP are way younger than me and have reached for the fuck it bucket sooner. Bloody wish I had!