Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

[ick26]

Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

Well.its for anything
If people are daft enough to donate to somebody else's dream of taking their kids on holiday to Florida more fool them
That said I b

Please tell me you do not have children with this Manchild.

Posted ro early * that's said I doubt many people do donate to the cheeky ones

It's also a seriously risky thing to do.

A lot of people die. A lot of people also survive with life changing injuries.

Lots of high profile challenges are dependent on begging for funding; Sir Ranulph Fiennes doesn't fund his expeditions out of his own pocket. I know an ordinary chap who did manage to get funding to do a desert marathon which was, basically, a mid life crisis, but he was already a competent runner and put as much work into raising the money as he did into event-specific training and preparation. If your DP doesn't have a public profile he would do well to invent an engaging story on which to hang his desire to do the challenge or associate himself with a specific charity, set up and maintain a website where supporters, naysayers and rubberneckers can follow and interact with him, use the news media for publicity, approach millions of potential corporate sponsors and be prepared for millions of rejections, forge connections with people who have already done the challenge he wants to do because there's often a community who will take serious contenders under their wing, and arrange fundraising events. And yes, sell the tchotchkes in the shed.

But if he's convinced that setting a GoFundMe and spamming his friends' social media is the way to go, let him find out for himself.

If he sat around doing nothing would you be bored of him ?

Oh god, very embarrassing.

My guess is Everest or MDS. Whatever it is, I bet it requires a shedload of fitness and significant training. Stuff like this cannot be taken lightly.

I would donate if the guy was very experienced and it was a long held dream and they've reached the point at finally be able to attempt it. This doesn't sound like that....

Tell him to grow up

I agree with this, I don't think it's awful as posters are saying- I hope this thread hasn't made you feel bad OP!

Some years ago I had a letter from someone I hadn’t seen for 25 years whose DH was having a midlife crisis and seeking funds to ride his motorbike to Ulan Bataan, Outer Mongolia.
Bearing in mind I’d only ever spoken to him twice in my life, he’d retired as a millionaire at 47 and we were absolutely stoney broke, there was no way I was funding him!
The presumption that others will contribute towards your midlife crisis is preposterous.

🙄😂

If your DP doesn't have a public profile he would do well to invent an engaging story on which to hang his desire to do the challenge

He could always sell his story to Take A Break - make up some kind of tragic drama that inspired him to do it, then have him looking at a photo of the mountain on Google Images whilst sadfacing and weeping that he'll never be able to fulfil the promise that he made to Great-Great-Great Uncle Cedric, who made him promise faithfully that he would scale this magnificent summit in his memory before the autumn of his own years began to dawn.

If it is Everest or something similar, he gets a hearty two fingers from me for his stupid fucking plan as well as for his stupid fucking fundraising. Amateurs have no business on Everest. Sherpas die doing the hard work for relative pennies just so white westerners can have bragging rights.

I genuinely think I'd be reconsidering our marriage if DH came out with something like this.

That is mortifying
Complete lack of self awareness!
I'm sure someone will put him straight
The total raised speaks for itself

What is the point in sponsoring even high profile people to climb mountains? How does it actually help to expand the realms of human knowledge in any way?

Now, if it were funding to conduct an in-depth scientific study at close quarters to verify the sincerely-held hypothesis that human sewage could be transformed into a carbon-neutral fuel to power the world's railways - that might be worth chucking a tenner towards.

This would be a deal breaker for me.
He sounds a self centred wannabee and an idiot.

The only way these extreme events should be done for charity is if the person doing it covers all costs and 100% of the donations go to charity

anything else is just getting people to pay for your event

Sorry, but I was almost tempted to initiate a gofundme type of site in order to support my quest in owning a 18 seater private jet - a a brand new one thanks plus running costs😂

Sorry but this is really naive! Most people only donate anything over and above the cost of the trip. It's a bit of a scam

I remember a comedian once making a joke about somebody he knew trying to fundraise a million pounds so that he could fulfil his lifelong dream... which was to be a millionaire

If he’s not doing it for charity then it’s no different to starting a GoFundMe for two weeks in Faliraki. In fact… 🤔

It IS embarrassing. Have you told him how embarrassed you are, and why? If not, why? And if so, how did he respond?

There's a myriad of challenging and stimulating activities available to you in life between putting the bins out on a Monday night and rocketing down the Matterhorn on a tea tray.

I think many people use charity as an excuse to go have an adventure to be honest.

Whilst I wouldn't support my dh doing something like this gofundme is entirely optional. People will either fund it or not, no one is forced to make a donation. I personally would never donate, even to the supposed 'good' ones.

A young friend of mine set up a gofundme for top surgery last year. He raised 5k in a matter of days 95% of which was from complete strangers. Bizarre.