Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

[ick26]

Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

I don't even donate to friends' kids' gap year "charity" trips. They're really no different to what the OP's DP is doing, I've no idea why they're seen as being acceptable.

Please do not have children with this man(-child)...

Oh dear….😂

If it’s any consolation I’ve seen a few of those - one from a family member who was planning a trip to Africa to volunteer (another white person with no building trades experience - just what the country needed) and another whose (privately educated) daughter fancied going on a sailing course in some far flung corner of the world and they wanted some money to send her. Both times I had a giggle to myself and rolled my eyes, but didn’t think anything bad about them.

I would be tempted to make a false fb page of my own about sad twats who try to get others to sponsor their hobbies and fund their adventures instead of putting in the work training and earning proper sponsorship. I bet you’d gain more followers than he does.

Put it this way the total about would pay for two weeks all inclusive in a "naice" hotel for a large family in the height of the summer.

At the moment he's raised enough for a night in a premier inn with breakfast included.

I really feel for you. I would be beyond mortified and embarrassed about this.

I can only suggest you have a very honest chat with him about how this is might be perceived and most people do not feel ok being asked to fund these type of events.

Perhaps phrase it in a way that you're worried it will make others feel uncomfortable and may impact on his/your friendships, rather than it being something you are personally judging him for (although you are clearly quite within your rights to).

So sorry, OP. This is awful. Has he got a really blunt family member or friend or colleague who will tell him it's madness? (Perhaps share the sm post with them... )

Suggest he sells all the previous crap on Vinted etc. to get some cash (at least then you have got rid of that).

I hope he sees sense. Until then, strength and wine to you.

People probably won't donate tbh
Anyone can set up fund me but how often do people reach their targets ?

Do you know any of the folk who make up the 1% that have donated? If he doesn't go through with it (which is most likely the case), do you think he will reimburse them?

But I would feel the same as you. It is very cringey.

It is embarrassing but I would let him get on with it. He will probably have people making comments to him and his mates taking the mick. Plus he knows that the money is not flooding in. No one will think it’s a reflection on you.

Anyone can set up fund me but how often do people reach their targets ?

Sub-5%, according to the official figures. And those that do are usually funded by friends and family. It's remarkably rare for strangers to donate, and usually that happens because they're either friends-of-friends, or because the story gets significant press/celebrity coverage.

It's not likely to get funded, but it's still really cringy for him to be constantly posting it... I'd hate it at any point, but 5 times a day?!

Given his previous form he will hopefully lose interest in a couple of months and have to refund any foolish folk who have donated. I'm not sure I could tolerate having a relationship with someone like this and would be looking at bogging off at the earliest opportunity. Do you have any DCs?

God, this is awful. I really feel for you.
Just pray it’s a temporary madness and the real him is still in there somewhere.

Unless this is the real him? In which case - ugh!

"Gap year," LOL - Honestly if someone asked me to donate for that, I'd not be able to help myself but to instantly ROFL
So many shameless people around. However, people are shameless for a reasons and that is, they now there are people only too willing to part with their money, lol.

I don't even give to door knocker charities no mater who they are or on the street - its all done online or we gift nearly new or new items we have not used to a local hospice shop.

I mean how did he go about wording his .trip ? I'd suggest selling the shit in the shed ! I'd have to tell him he was being ridiculous and you are embarrassed by him.

My sil jumped out of an aeroplane for ‘charity.’
Of course the organisers get first dibs on the money.
I didn’t contribute.

Why wouldn’t people donate- some people have money to spare and might have done/thought about doing something like this before and want to help. It’s a goal/ dream, why shouldn’t he try? If op came on saying her dp is rolling her eyes about something she really wants to do he’d be torn to shreds. Saying that I hope you both get onto the same page. I did a marathon years ago (not for charity) and was told I was too old had just had a baby etc. huge sense of accomplishment when I did it. Dh backed me the whole time. Try and support him at least a little if he’s definitely going through with it (and if he doesn’t at least he endeavoured!!!)

Start talking about his funeral wishes incase it's a one way trip. Rummage through your wardrobe loudly for black outfits. Maybe ask him how long must you mourn before joining OLD.....

I would not be able to stay in a relationship with someone with this sense of entitlement and delusion. Full stop. End of story.

Any respect I had for him would be completely gone. I really don't know how you can be with a man like this. It's fucking mortifying.

I was booked in for vagina closing surgery, however your DP has just done it for me so I'll donate my surgery money to his vanity project under the name 'Fannysnappedshutsohart'

Oh dear.
I cringe and feel bad when my kids are fundraising for a few pounds for scouts or something, I couldn't cope!

Rucking hell. he’s off his onion.

and I was questioning myself because I’ve signed up for an ‘ultra‘ next year.

cost me a whopping twelve quid, and basically loops the hills round my hometown. So abou a quid in fuel to get to the start (!) And it is a distance I used to run regularly until i picked up a stupid injury.

I mean thats great good for you, but did you ask your Facebook friends to pay for your travel running shoes fee for the marathon accommodation etc etc ?

This. How totally humiliating. I hope your friends don't see it. I don't think I'd get past this tbh.

I’m cringing for you! I certainly wouldn’t donate if a friend of mine did this - hope he enjoys his premier inn breakfast 😄