Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

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Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

True. It could be worse

I've seen some unbelievable Go Fund Me cases in my time. 'I'm a hard up single mum, help me take my four kids to Florida DisneyWorld' and that sort of thing. Just bonkers.

It should be for proper charitable causes, or interesting artistic or entrepreneurial projects, product development etc, where people are struggling to get funding via the usual sources. They have something unique that might pique the interest of certain people who are only too happy to help a great idea get off the ground.

It's not for people to cadge a free holiday or live out their mid life crisis bucket list.

Am I to take it that you're perfect and have never made a mistake yourself, then.

I'm so embarrassed for you. What an entitled man child!

It’s a goal/ dream, why shouldn’t he try? If op came on saying her dp is rolling her eyes about something she really wants to do he’d be torn to shreds.

Missing the point. A Go Fund Me asking friends, colleagues, strangers for money to fund your wild, selfish and unrealistic plan is the cringe part.

It’s not that big of a deal. GoFundMe is no longer for charitable causes, it hasn’t been for ages, people try to fundraise for just about anything. I’ve never seen a fundraiser and thought “how mortifying” if it’s for funding a hobby or holiday or vet bill or car repairs or whatever, I just scroll past. The majority of people really don’t pay these things as much attention or invest as much thought in them as you think they do. And if it’s not attracting regular clickthroughs and donations, algorithms will hide it from a lot if people’s feeds, anyway, however much he shares it.

Donate a pound and make your feelings known via the comments

Please do this I will never stop laughing

Yuck.
He sounds hugely immature in his toy collection in the shed and his changing enthusiasms.
Why on earth would he think others should pay for his delusion?
He sounds as if he is mentally stuck at age 13.

If there is often some sort of rescue involved I would be more worried about injury or death than some embarrassment over the gofundme.

Maybe suggest he sells all the sporting equipment in the shed to help fund it? Then at least you can get some decluttering out of this batshittery.

Ooh, ouch. I hope no one assumes that you're encouraging him in his ego-trip? The fall-out can be brutal.

Someone I knew very distantly fundraised for a world record attempt to hold the highest formal dinner party . Anything left over after expenses ha bloody ha would go to a charity of their choice. I instead donated directly to charity and considered my job done.

It was a very long time ago so I think this person and their team were very lucky with that. The most recent world record holders (yes, more than one group of privileged weirdos thought this was worth doing) got an absolute pasting in the press and on social media.

Ooh, my toes have curled up all the way back to my instep!

Even when people do this kind of thing 'for charity', it's usually still a way of mainly paying for their own expensive jollies; the clue is in the 'minimum' that they need to raise, which usually translates more or less to the actual cost of the activity, before the charity makes any funds for their own work.

But the fact that he isn't even trying to use a veneer of 'it's all for charity' makes this so embarrassing for him. PP who said about him sitting outside Asda with a begging bowl pretty much has the measure of it.

I love how he 'just' has to raise the other 99% - and then ALL OF THE REST will be going to charity

Ah, OP. I'll go against the grain here, mainly because there is no point adding to your cringe fest..

But, people set up GoFund mes all the time for spurious causes (among the worthy I mean).

It might be he will appeal to some extreme sports people who can no longer compete so will be sympathetic to his endeavour. There may be people who champion the dream chasers, wealthy folk who admire derring do...

Sure, sounds like he is unlikely to raise enough, but if the fund is public, why not give it a go. If folk want to contribute, that is on them.

Is he aware that gofundme take a % of the total raised? He might find that the entire 1% collected so far gets taken away 😂

Can he afford the health insurance required for this activity? Would it even be covered by insurance?

Why not set one up for yourself OP? A 2 week all inclusive for a nice holiday so you can get away from this fool.

How is he not absolutely mortified by himself?

What a painful thread. I honestly don’t know what I would do if my husband did this!!

This is so funny, Op.
I can see why you cringe.
If DH has been up front and honest to people who might fund his midlife extreme adventure then surely, though he is embarrassing, he is not doing anything misleading.

Go Fund Me proceeds have to be spent on what is stated so it looks like you could have a hero at home after a couple of years.
He will only proceed if people are attracted to his cause.
It might amount to nothing. I hope he trains hard and achieves his goal.

Shall we all on this thread donate a penny alongside a pointed message? Something like 'brave and stunning', 'such a selfless giant of a man' or just plain old 'mid-life crisis'?!

I suppose if people are stupid enough to give him money that's on them. I do feel for you though, it's ridiculous.

Maybe you could point out to him that most people who fundraise and actually get donations instead of ridicule, are doing it for things like life saving surgery, or something more meaningful than an ego boost.

It’s cringe but also depends what he wrote in the description. Also for a lot of big sport events you need to submit a resume of some sort. I know from experience that for Everest you have to have climbed other peaks like Mont Blanc and Kilimandjaro to be accepted on an expedition. They don’t just let anyone off the street do it so has your DH even checked the requirements for what he wants to do?

Can he not just learn to knit or something?!!

So not Everest, as thats in the 100s of 000s

Permit alone is around £9k
More details here
https://www.kandooadventures.com/blog/how-much-does-it-actually-cost-to-climb-mount-everest-1079.html

Go Fund Me proceeds have to be spent on what is stated so it looks like you could have a hero at home after a couple of years.
He will only proceed if people are attracted to his cause.

Surely there has to be a time-limit for raising the total, after which you call it a day and refund everybody their money, though?

If it takes him until he's 94, he's really going to struggle even to scale Lord Hereford's Knob; much less Kilimanjaro.

Too cringeworthy for words. You need to tell him. How does he not know this more worryingly.

I ended a long friendship over this kind of thing. Someone I’d known and been close to for years decided to do an extreme mountain cycling thing in an exotic location “for charity”, which actually meant that if they raised more than the £10,000 it cost to take part, a portion of any extra made would go to a good cause. I told them I wasn’t inclined to pay for them to have an expensive, exciting holiday when I couldn’t afford to take my kids away for a week at the seaside, and was accused of being mean and uncharitable. People are conned by the companies who marked these gigs into believing they are genuinely a charitable effort. It’s basically a clever way to get people to take wildly extravagant holidays at other people’s expense.