Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

[ick26]

Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

What a total plonker!

hahahhaha
Twat

Has he made a will?

Seriously. My mother's partner died intestate and it has been a fecking nightmare.

If he is doing something dangerous, manages to fund it and goes without proper prep this could turn out very badly.

His level of irresponsibility suggests he may not have sorted this essential out.

Re the embarrassing go fund me page - could friends and family contact him and say how annoying and spammy it's making him look?

Also, re scams:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-68074513

Oh god I've got the ick by proxy. Just ignore him nod and smile though. Then noone gives him any money and he doesn't have go off to die and it's forgotten. You can chuckle to yourself about it in the future if you haven't bought your own one way ticket by then. I guess there are worse mid life crises 🤣

Thank you everyone for making me laugh and validate my feelings.

I'm not going to post anymore as I never realised people would be searching on go fund me to try and pinpoint the cause.

I know I've not said too much so far but any updates might out me.

I'd be furious and would have been demanding he take it down.

Hopefully none of these suggestions, given it's a 'sport he's never actually tried before'! MdS, maybe try a Park Run first, or a wee jog around the block. Big mountain, start with a gentle stroll up the nearest hillock. Then some long steep stairs, in a blizzard.

OP, if by some miracle he actually follows through with whatever it is, please ensure he has life insurance in place to support you and kids, and specialist extreme sports insurance to cover medical and repatriation costs in event of illness/injury/death. If he can't be trusted to make these arrangements, and is willing to expose you to debt and/or bereavement, give serious thought to disentangling your affairs. As pps have suggested, time to wander the house muttering about divorce, rehab treatment, death benefits, funeral costs. Then have a very direct conversation.

yes, or do something useful like social care work, cleaning the streets etc. I.e. give your time for free, rather than guilt tripping others to give you money for something that benefits no-one save for yourself.
It's all just an ego trip and I have always felt like that about the all the 'please sponsor me to do this for charity' stuff

Wow, that is just disgusting.

Someone did this years ago. If I'd known I was paying for his sky dive, I wouldn't have bothered.

I have a friend (different to the one above) who last year kept asking for money to send her son to Croatia for a trip. But they have enough money to go abroad virtually every school holiday.

You could suggest he flog all that abandoned stuff in the shed! But seriously, ick, I would be cringing so hard, I don't think I could stay with someone who did this as all respect and attraction would have died.

Some schemes, like I think the DoE require you to fundraise and show evidence of fundraising to go on the trip. I think a lot of parents would prefer to just put the payment on the credit card and not bother with the fuss of it but it's part of the programme.

That usually involves things like bag packing, car washing, odd jobs for family and friends, that kind of thing though - not crowdfunding.

The lady who owns my place of work did something like this a few years ago

Her and husband where riding a bike across somewhere abroad to raise funds for charity and where demanding sponsorship from us plebs (everywhere you turned,there was a poster begging for money,this went on for about 6 months)

She's got 20 million+ in the bank-we are on min wage

They raised about £50 (wanted 15k) and had the neck to moan about how unsupportive we all where

Pay for your own holiday love!

(Cos that's what this was-she wouldn't have slummed it in hostels-5* all the way-and that's what this money would have gone towards,with any money going to charity afterwards and I'm damned if I'm paying for that)

This!

My friend did the London Marathon for a charity and had to raise money (£2000 I think but don't quote me!) to get their spot. They arranged quiz nights and did "odd job" type things to get the money in rather than just asking people to hand it over!

They raised about £50 (wanted 15k)
🤣
But my god doesn't it begger belief. Very wealthy people whose default stance is that those with less money should be donating it to the wealthy, sacrificing their own interests for those who are already wealthy and privileged.

I am mortified for you OP. It is embarrassing and it sounds like charity is the last thing on his list of priorities. If he cared about that there’s much better ways to help.

Both dcs have done the DoE and there has been no fundraising in sight.

They ARE asked to do some volunteering (3 months to 1 year for the Gold)

Oh my word. Sorry OP that is so cringe

I feel your pain. If it's any consolation at least it beats having an affair, wearing a leather jacket or getting a sports car?

I’ve got the ick for you.

It's embarrassing, I won't even donate to the charity ones, like climbing Kilimanjaro and such like, if you want to do it pay yourself.

I’m actually quite surprised that more people haven’t donated, seeing as so many naive members of the public seem quite happy to fling thousands of pounds every month to support a complete stranger from social media in their luxury lifestyle (Jack Monroe, James Anderson of Depher, Simon Harris, Sarah Jayjay, Jolyon Maugham et al) 🤣

On the bright side… if he doesn’t get enough funds maybe he’ll drop it?

I'd be mortified too - I always try and help things that I feel are providing real help but when it's funding peoples little self indulgences I'm out !!