Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

[ick26]

Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

They are married it does reflect on op.

I would cringe too - he’s effectively begging for money for a holiday (even if it is an extreme event). Im completely supportive when its needed (for medical treatment etc), but i’d be so embarassed by that.

Also sounds like he has issues to address - why does he start so many hobbies and then move onto the next obsession?

Yes, yes ... but let's get down to brass tacks, @ick26 . Do you or do you not have a lock solid life insurance policy out on him?

Cringing for you

Well as you obviously aren't the Confrontational type then just let lack of donations speak for themselves. I don't see how you don't end up in the very awkward position of bad mouthing your partner. I suppose I've ignored good friends fund raising money for similar events. I always think "pay for your own holiday!!"

This.
But I think that the very worst type of "Go fund me "requests is when people go on holiday without health insurance, then when they get badly injured or fall very ill, or even die, they - or their loved ones - set up a "Go Fund Me", because they can't have whatever medical help is needed in their country of choice, or even worse, want us to pay for their repatriation!

I also think that every time they do get enough money through these begging sites, they are encouraging another selfish person to not pay out of their own pocket for their insurance for a foreign holiday.

By the way, I am not totally heartless, as I have donated to GFMs when it has been for a child to go abroad for lifesaving treatment that they can't get in this country.

Woah!

Poor you, I would feel the same!

Oh dear, sorry OP -- my heart goes out to you! I'd be exactly the same. Hopefully friends and family will just ignore it, as I do when I get requests to fund a gap yah in Costa Rica for the dc of an acquaintance

Not to me it doesn’t- different opinion

I didn't mean it in a way to suggest it wasn't true, but more like I haven't been up and seen it myself.
I just Googled Everest rubbish, it's even worse than I thought.

Wow I’ve just started a thread on this subject but from the point of view of having received a funding request, and feeling put out by the idea of half my donation going towards someone’s exciting, exotic ‘holiday’ ! I thought I was perhaps being mean to think of it this way, but this gives me another perspective, so thanks !

I'd be absolutely mortified. I'm embarrassed on behalf of most people who have fundraising pages to be honest - it's all just money grabbing.

All I can say to you is this. Some years ago, when I was much younger, I wanted to go on a "charity" bike ride along the banks of the Nile. When I realised that I had to raise £xxxk of money I was a bit embarrassed. There was no way I could do it by fundraising and I just couldn't ask friends and colleagues to give me the money for, what I saw as, a glorified holiday. A lot of the money goes to the trip organisers and not to the charities, I ducked out in the end. It's a bit of an ego trip imo

Yes - as long as there's no danger of him either getting the money, or nicking it from the household budget, he's just being a bit of a plonker. If this is the worst thing he's done in your marriage to date, OP, then count yourself lucky.

Don’t know if you’ll see this @ick26 but does he by any chance have ADHD? The diving into new hobbies all the time and then dropping them is a fairly common pattern as is unrealistic impulse judgements about what’s possible.

Would it be worth chatting about? He may actually be carrying quite a lot of shame about the things he’s tried and dropped in the past but if he’s still operating with a dopamine driven brain then he’s going to keep going like this.

Midlife crisis much....

😂

Oh FFS

If he can't sustain his interest in a hobby then there's no way he'll put in the hours necessary to get fit for this. Just let him get on with it Op but make it quite clear they'll be no impacting the family finances to make it happen. I feel your pain, at a time when money is tight for so many your DH's fund raising for this is chringe worthy

Quite apart from anything this would really turn me off him, I would be wary of serious contempt setting in - because I couldn’t look at him in the same way. It’s deeply unattractive to be so biblically unaware at his advanced age.

It is basically begging.

This is as bad as those people who do "charity" skydives, raise £400, £250 pays for that person to have a pritty good time and then only £150 goes to charity, all they're work colleagues and friends have effectively paid for they're free skydive all in the name of charity!

Good Idea!

I was wondering if it was a leg of the Whitbread RTW yacht race?