When your house is just too too tasteful

[Ginmonkeyagain]

What the hell is going on here? This is an absolute horror show of beige and bland tastefulness.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143960609#/?channel=RES_LET

I like it too, despite preferring much stronger colours in my own house, but, given that it’s advertised as a fully-furnished rental, the careful styling does make me wonder exactly what you’ll get as ‘fully-furnished’ when you move in? Do you get the tasteful log pile? The indoor olive tree? The vintage toys? The carefully-chosen wooden implements hanging over the Belfast sink?

I think that level of Tasteful Monochrome Staging is as likely to put off potential renters as attract them!

@Pardonnezmoimadame It creeped me out too. I realise it reminds me of the Women's War Memorial in Whitehall which has clothes and bags hanging all around it.

That poor woman in that beige wool dress 😭

I would love a house like that, and by that I mean a beautiful big Edwardian house. I hate the aesthetic. It's workhouse / institution vibe. The wood under the stairs is just plain odd.

I really like it, it's warm and calm and I'm fond of a neutral.

Yes. If you live in it you must have coal smuts on your face and cholera.

Looks like it needs a good clean. Hate the 'Oh we're so rich that we want to play at being poor' decor. Yuk.

It’s quite confused but I don’t hate it. Is it scandi? Is it a chalet vibe with furs and texture? Is it Mediterranean with textured plaster walls and shelves and bareness, but no Mediterranean light? Is it English? You could do nice things with it though.

Please let this be the new Pedlars 🤞.

Interesting back story here….why don’t they want to run the B&B anymore? Why is there a ‘first ever sale’ on the extraordinary mock Amish garments?

Who is ‘we’ ( plural ‘mothers’ in blurb)?

Did someone suddenly come home wearing a shocking pink t shirt and glitter earrings, precipitating a relationship crisis? And so business breakdown?

( or is it just all too contrived for most people to part with their dosh….)

It’s a neutral palette designed to show the home for marketing purposes - I actually quite like it, it’s quiet and calming after many years of raising kids and the mess and chaos that comes with that. They’re not expecting you to actually live like that, you do understand that?

Dh said "Van Gough could lob his ear off in any one of those rooms"

I couldn’t spend a single night in a house with those logs, wtf! I would get one step through the front door and turn round again 🕷

You're only allowed to cook porridge, gruel and potatoes in the kitchen.

Tomato ketchup will get you thrown out.

They missed an opportunity to have an old rag doll on a raffia chair, a frog, a carved, wooden bookend in the shape of a woodpecker, a miniature organ and an old, saggy cloth cat, baggy and a bit loose at the seams.

Do you think they allow ketchup at the table?

We actually viewed this house before the current owners bought it. It was a beautiful, comfy, village house, seems they've staged it to within an inch of its life and stripped out most of the original features. It did need a lot of renovation (which we couldn't afford) but what they've done is criminal. I suspect they're DFL and have no interest in design

They look more like the CH24 Wishbone Chair designed by Hans Wegner, or more likely one of the many fake versions that are widely available.

I quite like the calm asthetic and would be quite happy to stay there for a short stay. But it's making me quite sure that I don't want limewash in my house.

Has anyone mentioned the pelts of furry creatures hanging on the dining chairs? I hope they're fake. I feel itchy just looking at them. I do not need fur, fake or otherwise, anywhere near the place where I eat😬

I think it’s totally unlived in and usually empty but they’ve paid a company to come in a stage the house as though it’s lived in (I didn’t realise this was a thing until fairly recently!). To me it looks so drab and dreary and a bit grotty but the space is quite nice and if I were viewing it I’d be visualising it without all the stuff in there anyway.
Weird.

I like it too, but given that it’s advertised as a fully-furnished rental, do you not think the extent to which this is accessorised is actually slightly confusing and potentially off-putting to potential renters? Just in terms of what is actually going to be in the house during your stay?

I mean do you have to have all the clothes and shoes that look like they have been gathered up after a 1940s transit camp has been closed down?

Whats up with the random scullery maid room on slide 8?

Jeepers. Greigescale.

Dirty protest chic! No thanks.