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Original poster

Aibu to think he should go and order me a coffee on first date?

411 replies

Coffeedate · 13/02/2024 20:23

I've found this a bit rude. I've been on a couple of coffee dates lately (first dates) where the guy has already been at the coffee shop when I arrive and is sitting with his coffee. When I arrive , they greet me , but don't offer to go and order me a coffee so they just let me go up and order it and pay for it myself.
Call me old fashioned but this bothers me and I just find it rude. Would this annoy anyone else or is it just me?

OP posts:
ThomasinaLivesHere · 14/02/2024 20:39

If I’m meeting someone for the first time I don’t expect them to pay for me. I’m not old fashioned though. I like causal first dates like this where you’re just meeting and seeing if there’s anything there. Also I wouldn’t like a stranger to go up and get me a drink. What if they put something in it?

Vonesk · 14/02/2024 23:17

Oh No I cant believe The Sexualisation of Society has gone so Low.
Come back next year and Females will be expected to have sex with a guy who holds The Door, or picks up a Glove...

StephanieSuperpowers · 15/02/2024 07:59

Why do you call women "females"?

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Dating General relationships
Meowandthen · 15/02/2024 08:04

ruhroh · 14/02/2024 20:18

I never mentioned Saudi, and I'd love to see you try (and not as a Western-tourist)!

Btw, I also don't think Arabic women demand to be coddled – I know plenty who speak their mind.

If you want your man to order and pay for you because he's a man who's more capable than women, then by the same logic you should submit in obedience to him as a less capable woman. Nothing extreme – I mean just submit to him in small ways, like in certain religions (Islam or more traditional Christianity). I genuinely know people like that and they work fine. It's not at all for me but to each their own.

Edited
Show quote history

You know nothing about the ME. Just prejudices.

I am not a tourist. As I said, a long-term resident so I know a hell of a lot more than you.

You were in a discussion where KSA was mentioned. Your memory is as rubbish as your knowledge.

ruhroh · 15/02/2024 22:34

Meowandthen · 15/02/2024 08:04

You know nothing about the ME. Just prejudices.

I am not a tourist. As I said, a long-term resident so I know a hell of a lot more than you.

You were in a discussion where KSA was mentioned. Your memory is as rubbish as your knowledge.

Show quote history

Oh, such interesting assumptions there from a British expat trying to tell me about a region I partially grew up in

Meowandthen · 16/02/2024 20:29

ruhroh · 15/02/2024 22:34

Oh, such interesting assumptions there from a British expat trying to tell me about a region I partially grew up in

Show quote history

Oh the irony. “Partially grew up”. You do indeed have more growing up to do.

You assume I am British. You have no idea of my background or where I grew up.

Your info from childhood is out of date. Now hush as you’ll just make yourself look sillier.

ruhroh · 16/02/2024 20:56

Meowandthen · 16/02/2024 20:29

Oh the irony. “Partially grew up”. You do indeed have more growing up to do.

You assume I am British. You have no idea of my background or where I grew up.

Your info from childhood is out of date. Now hush as you’ll just make yourself look sillier.

Show quote history

I truly am baffled as to why you think being an expat in 1 country makes you a regional expert, so this will be my last post.

Meowandthen · 16/02/2024 20:58

ruhroh · 16/02/2024 20:56

I truly am baffled as to why you think being an expat in 1 country makes you a regional expert, so this will be my last post.

Show quote history

Oh good as you are boring. As I said, you are making assumptions. I have actually lived in multiple countries. And I do know more than you. About most things too, I suspect. 🤣

ruhroh · 16/02/2024 21:19

Meowandthen · 16/02/2024 20:58

Oh good as you are boring. As I said, you are making assumptions. I have actually lived in multiple countries. And I do know more than you. About most things too, I suspect. 🤣

Show quote history

???? Genuinely, please don't lecture a native (who grew up partially in the ME, and the rest in a Muslim SEA country) if you have largely been an expat in one (1) country in the Middle East. You are genuinely so embarrassing and you don't even know it :(

Ewock · 20/07/2024 10:49

Coffeedate · 13/02/2024 20:53

I actually don't think it's even a gender thing, I think it's just a polite thing to do. But it does make it worse when it's a date situation

But you said in a pp that you "might" buy the coffee if you asked him
Why do you feel he should buy the coffees if he asked, but you only Knight buy the coffee if you asked him? It such a double standard. You call him a tight wad but would would the same????

Suzieandthemonkeyfeet · 20/07/2024 10:51

Yeah it’s nice and they should if they want to impress.

But on MN chivalry doesn’t exist 😂😂

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