Should I let my DD have a day off school if she is tired?

[chickensandbees]

I rarely have time off work and am strict on school attendance with my DDs, DD1 is 15 and has probably had 10days off in her whole time at school, DD2 is 12 and has only had 1 day off. I'm fortunate they are rarely ill apart from coughs/colds which I would usually send them in with.

DD1 has an afterschool activity last night and one of the other children said her parents aren't sending her in today because she will be tired. DD asked if she still had to go in as her friend and a few others weren't planning to. I know she is tired and has a cold but I still sent her in and said if you're still not feeling well at breaktime get the school to call me and I'll come and get you. My reasoning is she may feel better when she is actually there with her other friends.

I feel like I am the bad parent for sending her in, but equally I feel school (and work) isn't optional and if I start saying yes to this, when do I say no?

Advice welcome.

Don't keep her off for being tired! How is she going to cope with life as an adult if that is what you instil in her? Life is tiring! We get on with it.

I would send her in late.

Tiredness and a cold is not a good reason to take the day off 'sick'! I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease at age 15, I went to school everyday for the 2 years prior to dx while I tried to hide the symptoms from the adults! After the age of 14 the only time I had off was for Dr appts. I even had to sit my exams in a side room as my frequent toilet breaks were distributive and I needed the teacher to follow me in so she could prove I wasn't cheating! My mother wanted me to have time off, wanted me at home to look after me! But I was a stubborn teenager and think if she had tried to make me go in I would've wanted to stay home lol. No seriously the only time I truly felt ok mentally was while I was with my friends!
The school years are so more important than we truly see when we are there, so every day counts! Plus, touch wood, she'll need to learn the hard truth when she gets to college/uni/work! You wanna play you need to pay! And sick days really don't pay in the long run!
A little tiredness is really nothing!

Send in but expect to do a pickup if school nurse calls. I used to get awful fatigue come time of month at school and literally couldn’t cope and had to lie in the nurses room for a sleep and sometimes get picked up if really bad,. But she might go in and have a few lessons at least

Tell her it’s good training for uni when she’ll be out until 2am and still be expected to go to lectures the next day when tired and hungover.

I wouldn't send my child in ill and tired. Health and well being is more important than school. Children are pushed and pushed and pushed these days. No wonder so many adults are suffering with stress and mental health issues. Why would you have to stay home from work if she's 15? She could stay by herself.

I would have sent in

She chose to do the activity knowing was a school night

You did the right thing

Wonder how many friends actually didn't go to school. Did you ask her ?

To add - gov.uk shows 10 days or more of absence affects gcse grade. Hugely.

Maybe I'm an outlier but I can't imagine and have never had a day of work because of being tired. It just doesn't compute

It could be my upbringing, my age, I don't know but I dont think I have any friends who would do that either Absence at my work is very low so I assume no one's doing it there either

School nurse ? Where outside the private sector is that a thing?

We had a school nurse at our state grammar school.

Recently? Over all the years and different schools I've experienced I've never come across anything gother than a nurse at county level that was occasionally mentioned at one primary school

not recently but I did a google search and there was a vacancy in the same school that was filled last September. So depends on the school and the area I suppose.

I’m just making the point that you can always send the kid in and see how she fares and then if she needs picking up or teaching her to have the confidence to say to the staff that she is not feeling well and if she could have quiet time somewhere to lie down.

Motivation? I'd be worried that if many of her friends were off they'd be organising something......You could (maybe) say you'd come home to see if she OK sometime during the day.

Speaking as a taxpayer, we have paid for your daughter to have the privilege of a free education. Don’t waste it!

My mother was an occupational health nurse who always had great advice. She said that if you are someone who never gets sick, then once in awhile you need to take a mental health day.

U have your annual leave allowance and are presumably free to use it as you deem necessary. It's ok to step back and take a day for yourself.

We had a school nurse 30 years ago in my state comprehensive. She mostly handed out hot water bottles. But she had a room you could lie in if you felt unwell.

I remember at uni once we had some big exam in a particular subject, pharmacology maybe. The next day the 8am chemistry lecturer made a point that this lecture was likely to be exam material. It was, I thanked myself for getting up.

Wow utter madness that mind!

looks better to who it’s not a competition!!

has the pandemic taugh you nowt? If you’re sick stay home.

silly

Well yes but thats not what the thread is about, you didn't mention taking a days holiday in your original post.

At my work you have to book your holiday in advance so still wouldn't be an option but I do know that might not be the same for all jobs

Me and my siblings always had to go in and so do our DC! They're always fine when there and extra early bedtime next night. When I took school trips abroad and we and students alike didn't get back til midnight it was never an option to stay off. X

I didn't think it wasn't obvious. How else does one take a day off? It should be either annual leave or sick day,no?

No right or wrong answer imo. I don't think it harms children to learn that school/work is a commitment, nor do I think it harms them to let them know it's ok for them to take care of themselves and their needs

You are anything but the bad psrent. Send her in as normal.