Should I let my DD have a day off school if she is tired?

[chickensandbees]

I rarely have time off work and am strict on school attendance with my DDs, DD1 is 15 and has probably had 10days off in her whole time at school, DD2 is 12 and has only had 1 day off. I'm fortunate they are rarely ill apart from coughs/colds which I would usually send them in with.

DD1 has an afterschool activity last night and one of the other children said her parents aren't sending her in today because she will be tired. DD asked if she still had to go in as her friend and a few others weren't planning to. I know she is tired and has a cold but I still sent her in and said if you're still not feeling well at breaktime get the school to call me and I'll come and get you. My reasoning is she may feel better when she is actually there with her other friends.

I feel like I am the bad parent for sending her in, but equally I feel school (and work) isn't optional and if I start saying yes to this, when do I say no?

Advice welcome.

I was given a day off whenever I wanted as a kid and especially a teenager. My attendance was around 80% I think.

I really struggled with work when the time came and it has taken me a long time to get out of the headspace of having a day off too often.

You're doing the right thing.

Absolutely ridiculous of those parents. School is far more important than after school activities.
They are teaching their child a very bad example by allowing time off due to being tired. Her future managers will not be amused if she gets form for it when she works either.
Also I never followed other people's poor parenting choices just because my kids wanted to copy friends.

Your husband better watch out, bullying claim incoming from Charlotte 😂

For me it depends on the reason for the tiredness. If the tiredness was due to factors beyond her control (eg. Train home delayed, so got in hours later then expected) then I'd let her stay off. If it was a planned event that just ended late, I'd question If she should be going to such events, if they make her to tired to go to school.

Yep, they have a pulse, no limbs hanging off, not vomiting or expelling from the other end they're in school.
Ds (14) had a gig last night , late night, he was still up at 6am for school. He can sleep at weekend if he's tired.

Yes you can?

And how many employers would be fine with that?

I mean, every single one I’ve ever had?

She’s not ill - just tired. You go to school in the same way you go to work even if you’re tired.,

I think I’d have to rethink after school activity before not sending my child to school for tiredness. Maybe she was trying to pull a fast one by saying her friend gets the day off in the hope that you might allow her to not go in.

Every employer you've every had would be fine with you taking the day off because you were tired as a result of doing something fun the night before e.g going to a concert or a friend's party?

You must have very lenient bosses.

I'm pleased she managed to make it to half term OP and I suspect as a PP said she probably won't even have an early night.

Yes. As long as you don’t take the piss and I don’t have anything time sensitive that day, my boss has no issue with me booking last minute leave on account of being tired.

we are also allowed two duvet days a year, and two days a year we are officially allowed to be crap at our job on the account of a late night.

we have high morale and low turnover.

my advice is not to work for shit employers.

If mine could stand upright then they went to school unless they had something contagious.

Send her in. Giving her the option of ringing you if she's not the thing is a good move.
Her mates have slack parents.
Also offer to ditch the after-school activity of it's going to tire her.

I agree with this.
She had a cold too.

I let my DCs take a mental health day occasionally. It did their attitude to school or sense of obligation or self discipline no harm whatsoever.

I don’t know why everyone is saying she’s not ill, OP said she has a cold. And probably so do some of her classmates now that she’s been into school, just in time to spoil their half term. A day off very occasionally to recuperate is hardly going to turn her into a work-shy grifter.

It’s fine! Nothing will happen if she doesn’t go once. I remember when I was in primary school my mum allowed me to skip very often Fridays from school and spend them with her (she was SAHM). It had zero impact on my academic scores. I still went to one of the best universities in London with scholarship. I lost her when I was 24 and looking back I am so so grateful she allowed me to do that. Such a sweet beautiful memory I ll cherish forever.

No stamina these days. My social life took off in 6th form, so 16/17. Mid week at the indie disco, twatted on metz and smirnoff ice, then in school for 845. Friday nights were similar, but work at 9. What I'd give to feel tired because I'd had fun these days; not just because life is knackering.

I guess it depends on how tired she is. Is it just tired as in she needed an early night or genuinely exhausted and feeling ill with it?

Also who gets a whole week for half term?! Here in Scotland our kids get 3 days!

I don't think the odd day off does any harm if they're knackered and feeling a bit under the weather, as long as it once in a blue moon.

I honestly don't think it would have occurred to her not to go in until her friends started saying they weren't and that was before the activity started!

That would have made me think she was fine to go to school. If she had asked without influence from anyone, I would have been more likely to let her have the day off.

My daughter has had time of when feeling tired sometimes. She had 2 days off recently as she was tired and slept most of both days.

I have the best memories of the skive days with my mum! I can’t wait to do it with my own daughter.

My dd has various health issues I always allow days off for exhaustion or any other symptoms some would comfort as minor as it’s part of the bigger picture for us and dd needs to pace herself

*consider not comfort

Going to school, work etc tired is part of life. She needs to suck it up.