If you are a sahm...

[spandauballroom]

Is that how you explain what you do if someone asks?
What do you say if someone asks your job?

'I'm at home at the moment'. That's all I've needed to say!

@Dishwasherdisaster your government must want this change badly if they are putting it to a referendum. Hope the people of Ireland vote carefully. I'm going to read up on it more tomorrow. What I've been getting via googling it has been a word salad & my instincts say no.

When I was young enough to qualify as a stay at home Mum - many years ago now - I made a point of not saying that I didn't work, because I did work, I worked at looking after everyone and everything, ie at being a mum, and at looking after the house, and at cooking and shopping, and then looking after my husband too when he came home from work.

You can have a career and also prioritise DC, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

DH and I work flexibly around each other including WFH when possible to maximise quality time we can spend with DC. This means that we can pick DC up from nursery as early as possible and going back to the example of nursery calling when DC is ill, it also means that we can prioritise one of us getting DC ASAP.

When DC's are school age, this will also mean that at least one of us will always be able to do pick ups/drop offs and attend school events such as sports days.

Just to be clear, here are actually two articles included for change in the referendum @Bridgetjoneski, two votes.
I've just spoken about one above (though it'll be a no from me on the other one too).

What is the general mood in the country? Are the govt facing a no vote?

You are both very lucky to have that flexibility, many employers aren't so family friendly.
I know DH wouldn't be able to drop everything at the drop of a hat, he just can't. He's often overseas for work so it's imperative that I am there for the dc.
His job requires long hours & often involves entertaining clients so he just doesn't have the flexibility.

I just said I looked after my kids full time. If they asked my job I'd say my job was X but I'm looking after my kids full time at the moment.
Someone will no doubt post that I should have said jobless instead. Tough! People can say what they like and don't have to be dictated to by randoms

As any mum will tell you, staying "at home" to look after children/child is definitely work. A lot of work. A parent who chooses to bring up their DC is making a valuable contribution to the family and to society. If parents don't bring up their own DC, they have to pay someone else to do it.

Who is also raising several other children, so yours is just a number. Anyone who is critical of a SAHP is just trying to mask their guilt given they know they couldn't handle it themselves. Most can't even cope over the holiday break! Children are hard work (unless of course you just plonk them in front of a device).

@merrymelodies how old is your mother though? We are living in a modern world and most people simply are unable to just not work.... otherwise how would we feed and clothe our children?

Well. Yes. It's blatantly obvious. Of course they are the mum and dad full time but they have outsourced the parenting for however many hours a day for however many days a week.

Won't your children attend a school at 4/5?

What does my mother's age have to do with it?

Having kids is challenging whether you work or stay at home BUT is the motivation for sahp's 'raising their own kids' really for the betterment of society or mainly just because it suits them? Which there is nothing wrong with, people can choose to work or not.

With a sahp or working parent all kids grow up and contribute to society. Do all the kids who were in daycare not get jobs in the future?

I was a SAHM.
I did contribute to society in that time. I volunteered at local schools,playgroups and churches.
I wasn't employed. But I still had value.

What money did I receive from the tax payer? Apart from child benefit,which is paid to everyone under the threshold,employed or not.

Everything. You spoke about your mother, I simply asked what age she is because there was once a time where it was much more common for mothers to SAH.

I think once you are a parent you are a parent. Your child doesn't just go to school and suddenly it is the teacher that is the parent. Being a SAHM doesn't mean you are more of a parent than a working parent. My husband is just as much a full time parent as myself and I am with my child most of the time. You certainly can't switch off the worry that parents have just because you are not physically with them.

@ilovemyspace TThemost and NewsN is the same person name-changing.

Better a temporary financial hit than a permanent one if one of them gives up their job.

Exactly! I know of parents working full & part time who put their dc in holiday camps even when they are on annual leave themselves as they want "me time" instead of actually spending time with their dc!

What is wrong with that? I have seen SAHM put their child in nursery to get a break. I don't see an issue with either of those things. It is important parents get "me" time personally.

@WithACatLikeTread surely if you are working full time with your children in childcare any time together is precious & to be valued?

You said part time too. Maybe the kids enjoy going to those things? Maybe the parents need some time to rest after working? I am sure there is time to be a family as well. Personally I need time to myself. I am sure many parents including SAHP need it too.

@WithACatLikeTread personally I made a choice to stay at home with my kids as we could afford for us to do so & also because we felt no one would take better care of them or meet their needs as well as me. I don't take time away from them, I enjoy their company. I look forward to the holidays with them & enjoy planning our holiday days out..