If you are a sahm...

[spandauballroom]

Is that how you explain what you do if someone asks?
What do you say if someone asks your job?

So what are you if every Monday teatime you go to Knit and Knatter and leave Dad to sort tea? Like a 95% parent?

I do have a twin Mom friend who stayed in employment, she has a lot of help from both Moms and she earns a decent wage. Whereas I was already out of work cos of the complicated child and we have very very limited additional support. Congratulations on the babies

No you are passing your role onto your partner so your child is still taken care of by a parent. Think of it as your lunch break entitlement!

That's neat @Bridgetjoneski

When someone else is caring for my child I'm not a parent. But when someone else is caring for yours you are.

Twisty logic.

Sorry, no, I'm just a part time parent so I won't be picking up John until exactly 5pm even if he's just been sick everywhere'

I've actually had to say "No I can't come that quickly because I'm over two hours away " and sometimes our receptionist simply explained that the call would have to wait because I couldn't be disturbed.

I don't think this all needs to be so aggressive everyone is just making the best choices for themselves.

100% this! I'm a SAHM but whenever I'm asked what I do I have to curb my tongue and refrain from saying "Everything, I do EVERYTHING!" A SAHP is not some sort of cop out, it's hard work.

Since becoming a mother I've worked in paid employment full time, part time and now not at all. My husband's salary (which both he and I consider to be joint money) financially supports us and we claim no benefits. Furthermore, DH paid over £40k+ in income taxes last year, clearly making him a (financial) net contributor.
Those contributors who think their taxes are paying for me can jog on.

But the point is you are notified because you're the parent, it is expected that you will pick up DC ASAP because you're the parent etc the parenting responsibility doesn't magically stop just because you aren't always physically with your child.

It isn't aggressive to point out how ridiculous ''full time parent'' is to mean that working parents aren't full time parents.

Thanks.

We'll have 3 under 2 and will use nursery full time so it will cost a fortune but thankfully we can take the temporary financial hit. Of course, not everyone can.

I used to say "I'm a Mum", while obviously pointing at/patting my children who are standing right there with me.

And you are right! What can you do if you are two hours away. You are being paid to do a job, you can't just drop everything & run. The creche or other childminder is also being paid to take care of your child so yes your within your rights to tell them to wait.

Out of interest why are you or your partner choosing to take a temporary financial hit rather than staying with your 3 babies who will be under 2?

As a SAHM, if people asked what I did, I'd reply saying my role/career, but add that I was on a career break to bring up the family. I'd had a career and worked hard in it for a long time before I was a SAHM so didn't see why I shouldn't bring it in. It would depend on the situation though.

@Bridgetjoneski it's not always the case that SAHM's are doing so through choice and because they are affluent. How many times do we see on here that women can't work because their husband has a big important job so couldn't possibly do drop offs or pick ups? The woman is left trying to support herself and their children on a pittance while the husband spends what they want. Then they can't leave because no money and nowhere to go. It's a labour of love for these women who then get totally fucked over.

@TealSapphire to be honest I havn't come across those posts but I'll do a search. That sounds horrific & I can see how it can happen. I am at home with my dc but I have savings, a pension & investments of my own. I didn't take on the role with my eyes shut.

We don't want to give up our careers and we don't want to be SAHP's. The temporary financial hit will also pay off in the long run since we won't need to pay expensive nursery fees forever.

Do SAHMs stop being "full time parents" when their dcs go to school?

What do you call yourself then?

I just say I'm at home with the kids for now. Then they usually make a joke about my DH being my 4th boy.
Some people seem to struggle to talk about anything other than work, but that's their problem not mine.

As said all along do what is best for your family & that seems like a very wise decision in the long run & will pay off.

Stay at home parent can kick in then once they are no longer being cared for full time by a parent ie in school.

However during the school holidays I become a full time parent again, no need for holiday camps for the dc they are fully my priority during the breaks (DH always working during the hols) & we do lots of days out

they are fully my priority during the breaks

My DC is my priority all the time. Odd that yours isn't.

I agree with you.

Oh they are my priority hence why I have priorised my lovely dc over my career!

But while they are in school I trust their teachers who are their main educators during that time & I cannot sit at the back of the classroom🤣
Surly @MrsTerryPratchett when you are at work your job is your priority? Sounds like you are very torn as to where your responsibilities & priorities lie.
I have upmost faith in my dc's school & teaching staff & I am very confident in their ability to educate our dcs. It's their job & my priority to ensure they are well educated. During the holidays ( & after school) that becomes my priority, to ensure they are stimulated at home & through nice days out while DH is at work.

You will probably be surprised to learn that many Irish feminists will be voting to retain that clause in our Constitution @MrsTerryPratchett.

Here's why
https://thecountess.ie/the-countess-is-launching-its-vote-no-referendum-campaign

I wouldn't mind changing some of the wording, but the actual replacement does need to be an improvement on the present article, which it's not.
So I'm really very much hoping Irish people will think it through carefully instead of glibly voting to 'replace away'.

@Dishwasherdisaster I don't know the ins & outs of the referendum in Ireland but it sounds like one of these ones that if in doubt at all about any potential changes vote No.

Indeed. I fear that at first glance people may think the progressive, woman-supporting thing to do is to vote for the change.
It is not.