I'm scared

[Underthesea65]

I know there's no magical answer but I just need to get my thoughts out. Sorry. I'm terminally ill. I'm 38 with an amazing DH, one adult daughter and one nearly adult daughter (19 and 17). I've just spent three weeks in hospital getting blood transfusions and iron infusions and currently I head to the emergency day procedure every three days for more. I have scope tests amd another procedure next Sunday. I'm in agonising pain, even with the highest dose morphine. I can do nothing for myself. I can't stop crying. I know there's people in far worse positions than me but I'm just struggling so badly at the moment. I know this thread is completely pointless to everyone reading it, but I just needed to vent, sorry

We re here if I need a lift.🤗🤗🤗

I just want to send you a big hug op, I'm so sorry you are going through this

I don't buy into the "people have it far worse" saying. If that was true then no one would have right to feel upset about anything. Feeling sad and scared is a perfectly valid emotion. I do hope you get some answers and that brings some pain relief. I know it sounds stupid, bit your never alone. Plus always people on here whatever the hour

I'm so sorry OP. You are about as far away from being pathetic as it is possible to be, you're frightened, shocked and in pain. Do you think you might find it helpful to keep this thread and use it to post whatever you want, including anything you feel you can't say to people in real life? Absolutely no-one will be judging you, but we can do our best to offer whatever support we can.

OP you come across as extremely brave & pretty stoic in your messages.

I hope you had good rest, and I wish you all the very best.

Rant away! Do whatever you need to.

You've just received the eorst posdible news and in your shoes I'd be shitting myself.

Sending you hugs, love and prayers and I hope they find something to dortbthe pain out xxx

Another one hearing you and sending you the biggest, most gentle hug x

OP there is lots of support available from others with a similar situation on this thread if you are interested.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you

So sorry to hear that op. May you and your family feel the love and peace of God right now.

Hello OP I just wanted to say I hear you and you are absolutely NOT pathetic. You sound incredibly strong and I'm listening to you. You are entitled to feel scared and pissed off and cheated. It's not fair. I'm sure you are a lovely person who has done many amazing things. I would like to hear about you when you feel stronger. Rest now. Xxx

Sending you a very gentle hug, OP.

I hope the doctors can get your pain under control. Once it is, you will be able to deal with things a bit more easily.

It sounds incredibly tough for you but know we are here, sending as much virtual support as we can.

Bless you - hearing you, and praying for you and those who love you x

Oh op, you sound so lovely. This really isn't fair and I'm so so sorry that you're going through this.

I'll hold you in my thoughts and hope you get some rest tonight.

I’m so sorry. That sounds so tough. Thinking of you xxx

You poor thing. You are very far from being pathetic, no-one would think that of you. There is no shame in being scared, I would be also in your position. I'm sorry you are in such pain, is there nothing else they can give you?

Thinking of you, and sending hugs 💐

Rest and sleep well op. You are going through such a lot. How can you possibly say you are anything but the bravest woman on here and we are all here for you. 💐

I am so sorry that you are going through this, OP. You are incredibly brave. It is horrible to hear that you are in pain, can anything else be done to ease it? I hope you managed to get some sleep. Wishing you and your family comfort and strength.

I'm sorry too OP. Life is just shit sometimes xx I hope you managed to get some rest.

I really hope you can get something to ease your pain ,thinking of you and sending you the hugest hug xx

You have every right to be scared and to cry, scream or whatever else you feel like! What you are going through is terribly unfair 😢 no advice to give but sending you love and gentle hugs OP 💐

So sorry to hear this, this sounds very hard and I feel for you. Go back to doc, there are so many different options for pain relief, they should be able to get your pain under control. Sending hugs xx

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I have a daughter almost your age and a 19 Yr old as well. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you all. I hope your pain is eased and some miracle happens to keep you here. Stay strong sweetie, and keep fighting. Xx

I am so sorry for what you are going through, Hope that you are fast asleep and pain free, sending you love, hugs and prayers.

life is very difficult and please God they will give you another drug to ease your pain.

🥰

There are additional drugs they can give you. Do they know how much pain you’re in? Badger them for more drugs. Is someone actively working on managing your pain?

OP I honesty struggle to imagine many situations that would pass as worse than yours. Not trying to be a downer, just mean that you have every right to be scared and sorry for yourself.

I've lit a candle and dropped some frankincense in the flame and I'll just sit here thinking of you for a bit. Wishing you peace.