Messy house/garden pics

[Shithole101]

So its sort my dump/shithole/trampy house in and out day. I'm gonna sulk for about an hour then get started.

I have a carpet which i was going to use to put on top of my daughters carpet because I thought it might help with sound proofing the floor a bit if she had double carpet. But im not sure? So I Need to think about if I'm still doing that. Or of I'm bining it.

Also in a few weeks or so I was thinking about panelling my hall and stairs. So I would need to remove the end banister I guess I should do that this weekend so it cam go on the bin as well.

I'm really pissed of about that big white unit thing in the garden.

Also I have been a massive prick. I managed to stuff 2 sofas into the shed. Now I'm scared to get them out.

I also need to stop being a prick with the washing and My room . I keep nagging the kids whilst my room is a shit hole and I don't keep it tidy for more than a few days.

No

Of course it's that simple! You just tidy up after yourself and your children at the end of each day.

Ok

@Shithole101 Just seen your last set of photos - what a RESULT! You've worked hard to get it looking that good ............ and I can see the rug's gone 😂

They are not from today. They are pretty much the same though. I was just reflecting. Yeah the rug was a bad idea 🤣

I have the house 100% to myself for a couple of hours as the teens have gone out. So I can do some stuff without hassle

You have teenagers?
Why are they not pulling their weight and helping you??

This situation is very complicated. Which I'm not going into Just now.

Can't be that complicated if they have gone out? 🤦‍♀️

My house was rank, we both work full time have both been ill, recently lost my mum and had all the estate stuff I was sorting. I've cleaned and tidied it all morning and it's now tidy except the big pile of washing I was going to leave to put away tomoro but you've inspired me to just go get it done now, thanks 🙌

You just asked me why they are not pulling their weight. I said iys complicated which I don't want to go into just now . It has nothing to do with them being out right now.

Fair enough, but my teens would help there mum
Just saying?

I'm sorry you have lost your mum. Must be a really hard time for you. Well done for sorting the house out. 💐

I have been sitting on my butt for last 90 mins and suddenly feel really tired . I'm gonna make myself hang some washing and at least sort out the drawers.

Some of it just needs a change in thought processes. Instead of thinking "I'll just put this down here" change it to "I'll just put it AWAY ". "If I love this jumper I need to look after it not throw it in a heap"

On a practical level I would invest in hanging storage for your clothes they are less likely to get crumpled as creases will drop out. It will leave your chests of drawers for things that don't hang up easily like underwear and swimwear, leaving the top clear for a dressing table set up.

It's all about systems.
I have wastebasket in every bedroom. It's DS duty to go around and empty them into the dustbin the night before the binmen are due . We also have a waste bin on yhe upstairs landing for recyclables. Again emptied by DS.
If DS wants his clothes washed then they have to be in his laundry basket on Friday night.
Clean clothes away, dirty clothes in a wash basket, and partially worn clothes neatly folded up on top. (If I had the space I would have one of those wash baskets with sections to sort it into white, colours and dark items. )

I litterly live in leggings, jeans , jeggings. Nothing I wear needs hanging . I just prefer drawers .

I had a few down days where I didn't do anything at all no washing no nothing . So it's set me back. I will be ok once back on track.

OP I may have mixed you up with someone else but if you are in social housing (even with a secure tenancy) you might need permission from the council to take up flooring and remove banisters. Worth checking if this applies to you.

I'm allowed to do all of that. 👍

Totally get what you mean now about the carpet and the panelling - do you have already got them in the house and they are hanging around? Agggrr yeah that's a pain as you don't have anywhere to store them right?

What about giving yourself a time frame to try to use them and if you don't then just admit defeat and get rid.

But there is SO much other progress you can make before you get to that bit so don't let that hold you back.

The photos you put of the tidy house are
Amazing motivation- don't think my house has ever been that tidy! Hope you make some progress today x

I don't have the paneling but do the carpet as it was from my other room. To be honest the skip bag is full now anyway. So that issue has gone now 😅

Thank you. I done a few more bits . Put a wash on. Changed my bed covers . I suddenly feel a bit ill and drained so I'm going to leave the rest till tomorrow

You've been doing really well op!
I echo others though in thinking that in the long run you are making things more difficult for yourself. It builds up so much and then you have to spend loads of time fixing things. This cycle can't be good for your health.I see how tired you are.

Learning new habits is really the key here. Closing a drawer after you use it. Putting rubbish straight in the bin. Give the shower a quick wipe down with a squeegee after use etc. It can take time but is worth it. All the little habits build up gradually and then make your life so much easier.

I honestly really appreciate your children have special needs (am in the same position myself) and I know you don't want to ask them to do stuff because of this. Again I know it's hard. It's tempting to think that their lives are already hard so you don't want to put these things on them.
Maybe you could look on it though that your job as a parent is to set them up for life to be as independent and useful as possible and also good partners in the end. It won't be doing them any favours not to learn how to help out and also they need to know that their Mum is not there just to pick up after them and is a real person not a skivvy. Again I know it's hard, but retraining yourself and your children could turn your situation around with this. Imagine instead of spending your weekends tidying all the time, you could actually have a chance to rest and relax!
Last of all, I remember you always putting yourself last. I know you were struggling to wash regularly etc. How about putting all this tidying to one side this weekend? Have a good shower. Wash your hair really well, put on some clean nice clothes. You deserve to feel clean and looked after!

I do get what you are saying. I'm kind of building on the kids helping out a bit . The 2 younger boys have kept their room tidy since I decorated it etc their doing really well .

Teen dd gets 10.00 a week. But she has to tidy her room , the landing and bathroom.

Teen ds . Sorts his own room and his own washing .

Most of the actual house is reasonable now . It's my own room that is messed up. But I caused that because I was on a down for a few days and it messed everything up. Doing washing and putting it away felt like the end of the world. I was trying to force myself to do things but I felt so negative it was only doing half things and it really set me Back.

I'm getting better with the personal side of things.

Because stuff that has happened. Although stuff has got better mentally I was still there and kind of stuck and i had to really push myself which is how theses threads have helped . Sometimes mentally I still go backwards. It can take a small trigger . But now I can move forward again. Which before I could not. So I have set back s but it is moving forward.

@Shithole101 you're definitely moving forwards, bit by bit and at your own pace ......... and you're definitely getting there! 😊
You've had down days where you've done nothing and things have gone to pot again but, time after time, you've picked yourself up and got on with it again.
That takes real courage! And I'm so glad you can see the change in yourself - you so deserve to see it!

Thank you . That's what I was trying to say . I sometimes go backwards. But not so much so that I'm back to stage 1. Then I try ti move it forward again.

The first skip bag is now full. I have decided I'm going to fill the smaller one as well its gonna cost me more. Which is an arse . But i want a completely clean slate.

It's my fault for not looking . But I have granite dust I Need to get rid of i thought it had all gone but no 😭

Perhaps sorting out, folding and putting away washing becomes a task you do with the youngest boys. Part of your evening routine when they are with you. Even if it is limited to half an hour.

Good habit and good life skills for them.

As I said way down having fewer clothes in circulation makes it easier.