Are we having children too late in society?

[mids2019]

We had children at around 35 and now in our 50s we are feeling a little bit physically tired. We have stressful jobs and accompanied with child care this leads to a full on life. Now added to the mix it looks like our parents are starting the slow cognitive and physical decline of old age (both in their 70s).

This brings the question is it better to have children earlier in life (if possible. Biologically I would have thought late teens/early twenties would be an optimum as out bodies are at a maximum fitness and we are physically prepared?

Modern society seems to make this model extremely difficult with university and early career expectations really not taking into account what would be considered in the middle class western world as 'an early age' for birth. Housing and general finance don't help either.

I work with a few women in graduate careers in their early twenties (often in training) and it is an assumption that they do not have children when we talk. It seems that child birth at this age for this demographic is so infrequent we just zone out of the possibility that there may be chikdren.

Is society going in the right direction. Will women in general have children earlier if society, careers etc. were more geared to early childbirth? Obviously we have to take into account a suitable partner and that is whole other discussion!

I also wish there couk d be an honest appraisal of the many celeb elderly dads, Paul McCartney, Nick Jagger, Robert de Niro etc. etc. as we will never get a true view from the child expressed such as their emotion when their dad died possibly before their teens. If this pattern happened in normal society we would be basically creating child carers and I think that needs thought.

I definitely think we should. And also highlight the obvious. That Robert Di Nero can have a child in his 80's because frankly, he's loaded. He clearly feels he can be replaced by his money in the child's life if, as is likely, he dies before the child gets to adulthood, as does the woman he had a baby with. Most men in old or middle age, looking to retirement planning would not be able to have that kind of transactional relationship with a woman in their 20's and 30's.

Im not even sure the rich men all would care about having or not children in 70s and 80s. They wont physically do much looking after them. Cant so many 80yo getting up in the night to feed kids. It varies but my 70/80yo parents are asleep till 10am nap for hours. They visit and are both asleep on the sofa.
It wouldnt be great if eveb one parent is like that.

If gfil had dc at 48 he would have a 20yo while he was starting to get dementia.

Also before dementia the peoppe can get generally difficult.
My parents are also getting more rigid about things and argumentative.

I had mine at 32. Physically this was a good age and I also felt I had lived enough, I had an ok job and had just got a mortgage. It's quite average for nowadays.
I certainly wouldn't have been a good mother any younger (I didn't meet anyone who would have been a decent father). But I do think there is something to be said for not leaving it too late. I'm 39 now and although I'd have another, I wouldn't like to be starting out at this age...I'm not judging anyone who does. But I can feel the change in my body from 7 years ago.

I also think it's harder as you get older in the way that you have been used to living life on your own terms for so long.