Son eating us out of house and home

[Mumof118]

DS 19 eats everything and anything. He doesn’t leave anything for anyone else and doesn’t replace. He also infuriatingly doesn’t even let you know it’s gone or add it to the Alexa shopping list.

Example: Friday evening I buy 6 pints of milk. I just go to decant a bit to take to work and it’s all gone. Every last drop. I was even at the Supermarket at 3pm and could have bought more if he added it to the Alexa list

Another example, I go to get a cake from a pack of four for dessert. All gone.

A pack of eight wraps. All used up along with the cheese.

Am I being unreasonable getting upset with him. He thinks I am.

6 pints of milk and four desserts over 2 days are not essential for a gym goer.

Who said they were ? 🤷‍♀️

He's being selfish scarfing those particular items.

But he's not being selfish being hungry and needing the calories.

Tell him to step up and get another job. It doesn’t matter if he’s looking at uni in sept that’s over 7 months away. If you don’t make him take some adult responsibility you’re going to be left with a man child who has no clue about the world and the cost of living.

@sunglassesonthetable

that’s what I’m saying though - he might not be eating because he is hungry and needs so many extra calories. He could be just eating it all cos it’s there, because he’s bored (which he likely will be with no job), or just over eating cos it tastes nice and he likes eating (as does everyone!)

Why is it hideous to ask for permission before eating something? Really, why?

because it takes all the autonomy out of a persons ability to decide how and what they should eat - reasonable for a toddler, much less so for an adult.

and who gives the permission? Do you have to ask for permission? Or just the children who are in fact adults? It’s so controlling.

@PegasusReturns

well maybe that’s what is necessary if there is someone in the family selfishly eating all the food and leaving none for anyone else
Actions have consequences 🤷‍♀️

And a far far higher proportion of them doing actual physical work for a living which is of use to society. I feel like this gym/muscle building gym malarkey involves taking in huge amounts of expensive (both in terms of money and environmental impact) high protein food all so they can look a certain way. It's not FOR anything. If my son wanted to indulge himself like that he could pay for it

that’s what I’m saying though - he might not be eating because he is hungry and needs so many extra calories. He could be just eating it all cos it’s there, because he’s bored (which he likely will be with no job), or just over eating cos it tastes nice and he likes eating (as does everyone!)

Or he just could be a growing 19 year old lad ( not overweight - a pretty rough indication of overeating ) with a big appetite further fuelled by going to the gym.

What's the biggie? 🤷‍♀️

Why look for zebras if you hear hooves?

He still needs to be considerate.

I feel like this gym/muscle building gym malarkey involves taking in huge amounts of expensive (both in terms of money and environmental impact) high protein food all so they can look a certain way. It's not FOR anything. If my son wanted to indulge himself like that he could pay for it

Dear god. I'm pleased my DC are physically fit, active and take care of themselves. It's great for them and their self esteem.

" It's not FOR anything " No they're not behind a plough all day! All the more reason.

What an " indulgence " going to the gym.

This is wild. 😂👌🏼

People don't seem to be distinguishing between being very hungry and needing lots of food and eating everyone else's food in an inconsiderate and unpleasant manner. Two very different things.

Some of the replies on here are way over the top, quite a lot of catastrophic thinking going on.
I very much doubt you will be *subsidising him for the rest of his life" as some have suggested.
Just speak to him about being mindful they're are other people in the house who need to eat/ drink too.
I also have two hungry young men who eat me out of house and home, it's no skin off my nose. So long as they are respectful, which they are.

Exactly @CurlewKate and others. I would just as much shout can I have last x y z as I would expect DCs to do . It is not infantilising them. So the other evening I made a cottage pie and there were left overs. DH said - do you mind if I have this for lunch or do you want it. It's part of living together with other people to be considerate , not denying people food.

I say shout because we have a basement kitchen and people aren't always downstairs not because I am generally shouty about food 😁

I'd be giving the lazy fucker a daily snack box and putting locks on the cupboards and fridge. This would INFURIATE me. Even my 6 year old knows it's not an all you can eat buffet and to snack in moderation.

@sunglassesonthetable

all this stuff about protein powder, protein shakes, eating dozens of eggs and guzzling loads of pints of milk for protein, etc etc IS unnecessary and self indulgent though 🤷‍♀️

all this stuff about protein powder, protein shakes, eating dozens of eggs and guzzling loads of pints of milk for protein, etc etc IS unnecessary and self indulgent though 🤷‍♀️

why are you putting this on OPs son? 😂

He's responsible for all this?

It’s not the food. It’s the failure to let me know he’s eaten all of the food so I can buy more. If when he ate 8 wraps and a block of cheese to himself, he said ‘Alexa, add wraps and cheese to the shopping list”, then when I got home from a 12 hour working day, I would have some tea too, as I’d have known to pick up more en route.

As much as I adore my adult child, I’d really like access to food too…especially when I have a physically demanding job and he currently gets to stay in bed until 3pm.

Just to clarify.

You’ve mentioned Alexa 4 times, is this an advert? Why not just say shopping list?

I wish I could. He wanted the best internet so he could stream Minecraft to his followers and he upgraded the card or something on his computer so much that the electric bill shot up. That’s what the £70 is for. I can’t afford to facilitate his Minecraft channel.

Dad pays for his gym 😳

The person who buys the food and plans the shop gives the permission. Not sure its courteous as an adult to go home to visit my mother and eat her chocolate bar she had been saving for a treat just because it was in the fridge and I was hungry. Its just courtesy.

Judging by this thread it seems there are many who clearly can't regulate how much they can and should eat. Teenage boys don't 'need' to be eating twice the amount of any other person and thats where its the parents job to stop them.

@Mumof118

“As much as I adore my adult child, I’d really like access to food too”

how selfish of you OP! Your son didn’t ask to be born! Sacrifice and putting them first is just what mothers do. You’ll just have to not eat, boys need allllll the food.

lol, not.

He sounds like a leach.

Excessive electric use as well..?!?
What's all that about?!

Judging by this thread it seems there are many who clearly can't regulate how much they can and should eat. m

You what?

Teenage boys don't 'need' to be eating twice the amount of any other person and thats where its the parents job to stop them.

Lol. " controlling what another person eats "
when they're perfectly healthy and not over/ under weight.
Nope. That's not my job. I let my offspring judge their own appetites. And in my experience, Yes, my teenage boys have eaten far more than me. 🤷‍♀️ Whatever you say @ShelleyPercy

Do you have qualifications we should know about?

But Behaving reasonably and not being selfish or thoughtless with the household food stocks. That's another story.

No, I will say I trust him implicitly in that respect. He’s never so much as gotten home late or even tipsy. He’s actually a pretty sensible lad. He’s just got a lazy streak and can be pretty inconsiderate.

Annoying habit of eating everything in the house aside and staying in bed late 🤨 , I’m pretty proud of him, and he’s been out of work since Christmas, but has filed in at least 10 applications. He took a gap year as he wasn’t 100% sure about which uni course and didn’t want to waste money. We haven’t charged him more for ‘bills’ because we don’t want to. We are happy for him to save, but he has to pay that expensive internet.

A few people have implied he’s MN not overweight, so perhaps I’m blinded to his actual size. I’m adding a pic without his face, just to show why I feel he looks healthy and not overweight . He’s 6’2”. So I’m not worried about how much food he’s having…although truthfully I wish he wouldn’t eat 4 cakes due to diabetes risk etc.

Anyway, I’ll keep reading. I did not expect so many responses! Thank you.

Forgot to attach. Let me know if you think he looks unhealthy.

I see that this thread, like so many others, has eventually turned into something quite mental