Son eating us out of house and home

[Mumof118]

DS 19 eats everything and anything. He doesn’t leave anything for anyone else and doesn’t replace. He also infuriatingly doesn’t even let you know it’s gone or add it to the Alexa shopping list.

Example: Friday evening I buy 6 pints of milk. I just go to decant a bit to take to work and it’s all gone. Every last drop. I was even at the Supermarket at 3pm and could have bought more if he added it to the Alexa list

Another example, I go to get a cake from a pack of four for dessert. All gone.

A pack of eight wraps. All used up along with the cheese.

Am I being unreasonable getting upset with him. He thinks I am.

This isn't about calories . Or hunger. This is about him learning to love with other people and not come across as a selfish greedy twat

This is about him learning to love with other people and not come across as a selfish greedy twat

Exactly 👍🏻

" learning to live " I presume

The problem with teenagers is that they can’t process simple requests, so you can ask nicely till you’re blue in the face but they’ll still keep doing it. I’m sure OP is at this stage. Everyone saying you shouldn’t restrict him, or take money from him or send him to the shop - How would you deal with it when asking nicely for them to consider other family members/not eating a whole chicken as a snack/to let you know when they’ve used the last of something hasn’t worked?

And don’t get me started on leaving empty packets in the fridge/cupboard to hide the fact they’ve eaten it all!

The problem with teenagers is that they can’t process simple requests, so you can ask nicely till you’re blue in the face but they’ll still keep doing it.

Of course they can!

Whether or not they want to is another matter.

We used to make them eat 3 slices of bread and butter before dinner. Like a a sort of starter😭

True….. no he didn’t overnight learn how to shop and cook , the first glimmer came when he moved out of uni halls and was living in a shared house and was responsible for producing a meal for the house on one night of the week. That Christmas, at home from uni, he asked to be taught a few recipes so he could do this…. He also asked to be taught how to properly clean a kitchen or bathroom, because that was also (on occasion) one of his tasks in the shared house. Christmas break he learnt to properly clean a kitchen or bathroom in one hour and learnt to cook three simple budget meals which he was able to do on repeat. That was the turning point. After that he became more and more competent regarding them as life skills, and taking a pride in being able to do all of this. I think it’s just maturing. However, I do think a decade of living as a single guy 300 miles from his parents also made him an adult and for more suitable as a life partner when he married.

Completely agree with you, @sunglassesonthetable.

Sorry, if the above is confusing…… I was in a conversation with@femfemlicious and I thought I had attached the conversation, but I haven’t managed it.

@Menomeno "The problem with teenagers is that they can’t process simple requests, so you can ask nicely till you’re blue in the face but they’ll still keep doing it. "

This really is complete bollocks....

Oh god my sons are only 7 and 10 and they already eat like a plague of locusts. I try and make sure there is plenty of accessible food that they like within reach and am teaching them to make themselves things on toast, scrambled eggs and use the airfryer for popcorn chicken (the 10 yo for that) so at least they aren't always bugging me for stuff but I dread them eating more and more.

They're very active though so need the energy. I try and make sure things are fairly filling and protein heavy to fill them up.

And they're the same with milk but so is DH and I'm constantly going on at them all to let me know when something is running out! This is my biggest bugbear.

I'm kind of resigned to the fact that they will bankrupt me with their appetites as they get older. Sigh. I do try and teach them the value of stuff i.e. DS2 will eat three of my fancy yogurts in one go so I'll explain how much they cost and how much I have to work to earn that amount etc.

Luckily there are high enough shelves yet where I can hide stuff still but that'll go out the window once they grow taller than me!

My 16 year old son eats everything too, I have to hide food if I know I need to use it for packed lunches or for dinner. If I buy eggs he thinks they’re all for him, he goes through bags of pasta and tins of sweetcorn. As soon as I walk through the door with shopping he’ll be helping himself to all the bananas. I don’t mind too much, apart from when he uses the last of something or when he eats something I was going to prepare for dinner. I’ve had countless discussions with him about just checking first but he rarely does.

It's utter bollocks isn't it?

If a parent's expectations are that low, there's no hope.

Maybe he could be assigned a shelf in the fridge and one shelf of a cupboard, from which he can help himself. If he wants food from any other shelves, then he has to check first that he can take it.

Involve him in meal planning and shopping, so he gains an awareness that certain items have been bought for a specific meal or recipe so can't be used for any other purpose. Maybe he could actually cook the meal from time to time, perhaps once a week?

This is simply not true @Menomeno

teens absolutely can process simple requests

💯💯💯. They shouldn't be allowed to continue to do it.

If it's the gym that is fuelling the runaway appetite, he should be contributing to the food bill in the same way that he presumably buys his own gym kit. It's an incidental expense of his hobby.

Please enlighten me! 😃 We’ve raised five DCs and the number of times I ask “Please can you bring your dirty cups and glasses downstairs”… I’m not saying it’s impossible to change their behaviours, but often asking alone doesn’t work. There has to be consequences.

Well yes, you said it yourself.

There has to be consequences

Make it clear what they are and stick to them.

Go and check in their room for cipd. Then leave them there and send them to collect them. Every time. They'll solve problems that are inconvenient for them.

Cups not cipd!

Like fuck would I be hiding food in my own home.

"This is what you can eat and this is what you can't "

End of story unless they want their phones removed or the wifi cut off as a consequence of being utterly selfish.

Is he using steroids at the gym?

I think that's more a reflection of your parenting.

Teens don't always arrive fully formed as excellent functioning adults. ( Inevitably you hear about them on MN if they do 😄 )

This DS needs guidance, boundaries and consequences. Lots of ideas on here.

It'll be fine.

This is what comes of letting kids help themselves from the fridge from an early age.