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Original poster

Working mums - would you rather be a SAHM?

298 replies

Feelingcrappy2 · 31/12/2023 17:33

Just out of curiosity. I have 2 little ones, very undecided whether or not to go back. Feel lucky that I have the option to stay home but not sure if I want another year of being in this flat!

OP posts:
BananaPalm · 31/12/2023 17:37

I would definitely NOT want to be a SAHM. Although sometimes a thought of not being accountable to some sort of a boss (who can fore you) is appealing...

Parker231 · 31/12/2023 17:38

No - very pleased with my career and how happy DT’s have been throughout.

Boomboom22 · 31/12/2023 17:38

No way, sounds awful tbh. I need more motivation, wouldn't keep the house any cleaner and be terrible for my mh.

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SeattleSpacePlane · 31/12/2023 17:39

Definitely would not be a SAHM for lots of reasons.

I think in an ideal world, if money was no object I'd drop to 0.6 or 0.8 FTE. But no, I wouldn't be a SAHP.

Curlewwoohoo · 31/12/2023 17:39

I work part time and am happy with the balance. I wouldn't want to be a sahm, I would get bored and then be a crap mum.

fr4zzledmum · 31/12/2023 17:41

I'd quite happily be a SAHM once they were at school age... 😂

dingledells · 31/12/2023 17:41

I went back for 14 hours & now they are in school do 25. Perfect balance for me.

Teenagersscarethelivinshitoutofme · 31/12/2023 17:42

When DD was little, it would have been financially fine to stay home, but it would not have been the right decision for me at all. I have never regretted that choice.

pponk · 31/12/2023 17:42

I'd want to work 2- 3 days ideally.

WhatFlavourIsIt · 31/12/2023 17:43

My kids are older now, but i stayed at home until the youngest finished primary. If I had my time again, I would do exactly the same. I loved being at home with the kids.

RiceR1ceBaby · 31/12/2023 17:43

No. I don’t have the patience for it. I’m a better parent thanks to the ‘break’ of work. And I love my job. I work 0.8FTE though which helps.

Zimunya · 31/12/2023 17:43

If I could have done it when DD was little, definitely. Not now, though.

Beezknees · 31/12/2023 17:43

I decided to be a SAHM while DS was a baby. I split up from my partner and DS and I ended up living in a hostel for 6 months as I had no money.

I would only ever do it if I had independent money of my own.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 31/12/2023 17:44

I had no choice about being a SAHM and had to go back to work full time when DD was 10 months old. I was absolutely gutted and would love to have been a SAHM.

Newnamesameoldlurker · 31/12/2023 17:44

Absolutely not. We could afford this and my DH would like it, but it would destroy my mental health

mynameiscalypso · 31/12/2023 17:44

Nope. I love my DS but would go absolutely insane if I had to be a SAHM. Plus I really like my job and get a real sense of purpose from it. Without it, I'm pretty sure I'd lapse into (worse) depression.

FrillyGoatFluff · 31/12/2023 17:44

I work three days, 2 in the office, one from home. Bloody love it.

Being at home solely bored me stiff, working full time felt pointless as I was spending nearly my entire salary on childcare.

Still spending most of my salary on childcare, but at least I have some time with DD too now 🤷🏻‍♀️

judgedreadful · 31/12/2023 17:46

Absolutely not. I've done both and it is easier to work and better for my mental health.

Peanutbutterismyjam · 31/12/2023 17:46

For some reasons, being a SAHM seem to the an awful existence on MN.

I'm a SAHM/parent carer to be eldest. Didn't return to work after my youngest/lockdown.

Some days are better than others. However, I appreciate the situation we are in. Bear in my mind, my eldest has ALN but we don't have to worry about school holidays/sickness/inset days
It works for us. I also ensure to prioritise my needs and hobbies.

shalligiveupagain · 31/12/2023 17:47

Mine are older now but absolutely not. Maternity leave was long enough. I didn't enjoy just being 'mum' but everyone is different, do what makes you happy. Your DC will be fine either way.

VivaVivaa · 31/12/2023 17:50

Nope. I worked damn hard for my career, i’m really good at it and I enjoy it. My DC come first and pretty much everything outside of work plays second fiddle to them. But my 4 days in work are non negotiable.

Megifer · 31/12/2023 17:51

In a heartbeat, I was a lot happier and way less stressed when I was a SAHM. Now I still have all the home/kid stuff I had before as well as a FT job and that's with DP pulling his weight 😩

Angrycat2768 · 31/12/2023 17:51

I've worked pt since having children ( 15 years) mostly 3 days a week. Even then, I'm now working 4 days a week and shovelling huge amounts into my pension to make up for it, so I would think not working at all would be like a mountain to climb on thst front. Also, children still need parenting when they are in their teens, its just not a baby thing. I feel working part-time has allowed me to be flexible for far longer. My kids loved nursery/childminders they had. They played with other kids and had activities and entertainment all the time. I loved being at work and enjoy my job. Many of the sahm's I know had to retrain or were stuck at home doing housework when their kids were at school because they had completely lost confidence or had no idea what to do.

Mummyofthewildones · 31/12/2023 17:53

We would have been better off if I had been a SAHM as my earnings were less than the cost of childcare when I went back to work. But for my sanity, and the fact that I would have had to do a return to nursing course if I'd had a long break, I went back when DCs were 8/9 months old. Now they are 2 and 4 childcare is not quite so much, I work 3 days a week and my career is in the best place it has ever been. But being a SAHM mum was not for me.

WolfFoxHare · 31/12/2023 17:53

I suppose on one hand it might be quite nice now DS is at school. I don’t love my job by any means. But I’d miss my salary and independence.

And no chance I’d have fancied it before he went to school, I’m not very well suited to 24/7 childcare.

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