Working mums - would you rather be a SAHM?

[Feelingcrappy2]

Just out of curiosity. I have 2 little ones, very undecided whether or not to go back. Feel lucky that I have the option to stay home but not sure if I want another year of being in this flat!

There is a massive difference between giving up work due to winning the lottery and giving up work to be a SAHM.

They are completely different scenarios.

A lottery win so big that you don't have to work again doesn't involve making yourself financially vulnerable.

It's so narrow minded to think that a SAHM literally 'stays at home' all the time and doesn't have interaction with other adults or use her brain .

And to be perfectly blunt it depends on so many factors ... lifestyle, household income, 'expectations' from the other parent, how 'easy' your DC are etc etc.
I had a really easy time as a SAHM ... we had an only DC (by choice) & he was a very chilled baby/toddler, a comfortable home, two cars, a very decent household income - to which I had full access - no question of 'asking' for money ... my DH was a completely 'hands on Dad & DH' ... there was no expectation that I would do all the housework etc. I had a wide range of interesting and fulfilling volunteering positions so I was mixing with lots of adults and 'using my brain'.

But ... if I'd been stuck in a high rise flat, three DC under 5, no money of my own, a misogynist DH who didn't share the chores, no friends or hobbies ... life would have been very different.

I'd never planned on being a SAHM but life didn't go the way I expected. I found it very difficult in the beginning but as my son gets older it's a lot easier and I'm more at peace with it. I'm able to manage a few shifts a month back at work recently and I'm really enjoying it.

As well as that (which I agree with), it also doesn't change your dynamic with your partner - if you win that much on the lottery, you'll both likely give up work. Fine for people it works for but, for us as a couple, I prefer the dynamic where we both work and share domestic duties rather than one of doing all/most of the domestic work

Hell no! I like setting my kids an example that if they want food on the table and clothes on their backs, you have to work for it, and that I am not on tap to drop everything and tend to their every whim. I like using my brain and having proper conversations. And we look forward to family time at evenings and weekends/holidays.

Absolutely not. I’d go insane with the lack of time on my own. By the end of a bank holiday I’m spent.

Sahms get my utmost admiration.

No. I get bored v easily. Looking after children is really fucking boring. I was stressed to fuck for the first 8 years of parenthood and wft, but I much prefer the constant buzz and chaos to being at home. I kind of enjoy running full tilt and nut being able to catch my breath.

I've had an incredibly chilled week this week (kids in high school) and it's nearly killed me.

No. But (as a previous poster pointed out) I think I would carry on working even if I won the lottery- not because I love my job so much, but because the routine and structure of work is what I need for good mental health. Mat leaves nearly killed me

Work part time and have the best of both worlds!! I was a SAHM for 4 years while my two were babies, I did love watching my babies grow up but also felt very isolated, lost myself a bit. Now im working part time and honestly its made me feel like me again

I agree. I also prefer the dynamic where we both shoulder the finances and the domestic work.

Hell no!

Don't know if I count but I worked for 20 years before having a child. I absolutely love being a SAHM now! Don't want to go back when he goes to primary but needs must.

I loved being a SAHM and would never change it if I could go back, until he was 11 i stayed home, then part time when he went to secondary.

I would love to be a sahm

A very wise friend told me when my DD was young that working when she was young was an investment in myself. She was right and I am so so glad that I have the career I have now. I am
also lucky that I have been a mixture of ft and pt over the years and waxed and waned as my role and career (and DD) needed me. I also like being a role model to my DD.

I stayed at home for 3 years. It wasn't for me, returned to work when second DC was 9 months.

Nope! My job is pretty good, flexible, I'm in a senior role and it is pretty cushy. I'd still give anything to be a SAHM, was way cushier and easier imo!!

Yes, I would if my husband had a stable and, more importantly, predictable income.

Mine are 12 and 9 and I will not want to be a SAHM. But it’s never been my desire to be one. I like my own money. We have a joint account and budget but I don’t like to ask for money to go out and buy stuff I like.

No, I need work. I love my kids but i need a break from being mum all the time, really feeling it after 2 weeks off! Hats off to all the stay at home mums out there.

I have a flexible office job and SAHM is much easier. Maternity leaves were so easy compare to work. I can’t imagine looking after school aged children harder than toddler and baby.

I wish I could be part time instead. I can't afford to and my career wouldn't survive if I did but I miss my son.
It's bed time practically by the time we get home from afterschool club 5 nights a week. Weekends are clean/wash/food shop catch up mostly.

No. I love my job and I get depressed when I'm on leave for too long. Also I find home making a joy when it's alongside my job but depressing when it's the totality of it (I am basing this on maternity leave experience). I need a place outside the home for me. I need to exist away from DC and even DH.

I have the option of either (financially speaking) but love my job. I decided to return two days a week and I love the balance this gives me.