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Original poster

Has anyone on here ever hurt your feelings?

157 replies

NewYearNewMeBullshit · 30/12/2023 19:45

I've had loads of support and advice on here over the years, some really nice people.

But there have been a couple of rubbish ones too!

Has anyone ever been bruised on here? I had one comment I've never quite forgotten. Shouldn't take it personally I guess!

OP posts:
ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 30/12/2023 19:47

Yes. Someone told me (on a thread about a financial question) that I was a horrible person and she would hate to have a daughter like me, or words to that effect. It was totally uncalled for and made me feel sick. I didn’t come back for several months and didn’t post again for several months after that. I agree sometimes threads on here can be wonderfully supportive, but not always. This place is absolutely vicious sometimes.

Bumblebee413 · 30/12/2023 19:52

It didn’t hurt my feelings, but after asking advice on what cooker to go for as my DH and I had different opinions, I received a very in-depth summary of my controlling behaviour, personality and marriage advice. Still tickles me now. I showed the thread to my DH and luckily he found it hilarious too- took that as reassurance that he’s probably doing alright…

I imagine most posters on here have had their feelings hurt though. There are frequently very vicious replies on here.

Brird · 30/12/2023 19:52

Not hurt, but definitely frustrated. People will argue that black is white on here, even when it is a subject they know nothing about. They are tenacious about disagreeing with you even though they have no experience or knowledge except maybe via their DH.

OhnowIUnderstand · 30/12/2023 19:53

No. It’s online, people could be anyone with any motives, don’t take any of it too seriously.

Echobelly · 30/12/2023 19:57

20 years ago I would have been hurt by some of the replies on here, but these days I'm kind of * * [shrug] 'it's just a person on the internet'. The thing is, when one posts about a specific situation, people will tend to get an exaggerated/warped version of you so I just laugh when people occasionally say things that totally mischaracterise me, and I don't bother trying to explain myself to them, they've just got the wrong end of the stick!

And occasionally people have been harsh but right - once I posted about something and a few people pointed out I was projecting too much of myself onto my child about this specific issue. I was initially hurt, then realised they were right and ever since then I have been more careful to avoid doing that.

Whitecup24 · 30/12/2023 20:00

I did a AMA about making money and had almost every person accusing me of being a MLM / Scammer which was a weird way to spend a couple of hours. I wasn’t particularly upset but I do still think about what an absolute waste of time that was.

MrsNandortheRelentless · 30/12/2023 20:01

Yes.
During lock down.
I was called pathetic and ripped to shreds over and over because I said that I had felt relief and respite after spending my one day off, after another 60 hour week working at a hospital.
My day off was spent in my pyjamas, under my duvet sleeping and reading. I said it was bliss.
I had been present at numerous horrific deaths, head to toe in plastic PPE.

Didn’t drip feed. It was one of them threads entitled “what are you up to today MN?”

“Pathetic”.

I was utterly broken, barely hanging on and as I walked into another 60 hour week, “pathetic” was the only thing in my mind.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 30/12/2023 20:03

Ive been mocked, and then defended by others which was heartening. Was once called a twat - reflected on it, decided I wasn't. So not hurt exactly. Twitter however is a different story...

fuckssaaaaake · 30/12/2023 20:04

MrsNandortheRelentless · 30/12/2023 20:01

Yes.
During lock down.
I was called pathetic and ripped to shreds over and over because I said that I had felt relief and respite after spending my one day off, after another 60 hour week working at a hospital.
My day off was spent in my pyjamas, under my duvet sleeping and reading. I said it was bliss.
I had been present at numerous horrific deaths, head to toe in plastic PPE.

Didn’t drip feed. It was one of them threads entitled “what are you up to today MN?”

“Pathetic”.

I was utterly broken, barely hanging on and as I walked into another 60 hour week, “pathetic” was the only thing in my mind.

Wait, they knew you'd been working in hospital and enjoyed your 1 day off? God what an arse. I wouldn't listen to someone like that who clearly has their own issues. That kind of reply is a definite troll trying to upset you. But I see why it worked when you're exhausted mentally and physically

TootenCarMoon · 30/12/2023 20:05

Yes, on a thread about disruptive children in school and how to lessen the impact on other children’s learning, I was told I wasn’t fit to be in education.

Probably from someone who has no idea what it’s like to spend every day with a child who is struggling in the classroom and can only express that through behaviour and had no useful advice to offer, just must have wanted to say something unkind that day.

Theyarehere · 30/12/2023 20:06

There are always a few posters that take it as a badge of honour that they are straight talking cut the crap types… They are just rude and the only person they show up is themselves. I can’t stand the nasty vicious posters when the OP is desperate for help or when they have got completely the wrong end of the stick and just being vile for the sake of it. I could quite see people being very upset by it and feeling bullied off the site or too afraid to post. I name changed yesterday after someone called me a moron… they misread my post and couldn’t understand the repeated attempts by myself and several other posters to explain. No I was a moron.

TooMuchPinkyPonkJuice · 30/12/2023 20:07

It’s easy to say but posters who’s sole aim is to attack, who provide no advice or other words other than a character assassination, ignore. There is no person with any worth who would do something like that. I’ve had comments cut deep but they were home truths along with genuine advice.

InAMess2023 · 30/12/2023 20:07

Kind of I guess if I'd let it get to me.. a thread about my ASD and one poster absolutely adamant I couldn't possibly have a diagnosis. Yet when questioned why I would possibly fabricate it I got repeated posts accusing me of being a bully and then had my thread deleted!

Gingerlygreen · 30/12/2023 20:08

Yes, when I was heavily pregnant I was made to feel like shit by one poster, everyone else on the thread was lovely but it was her comments that stuck.

They are still a regular poster and I still dislike them 10 years later.

Grimchmas · 30/12/2023 20:08

Yes. I can't even remember what about, but I remember the way it made me feel. It seems to happen when i start threads, so I don't tend to start threads any more.

Original poster
NewYearNewMeBullshit · 30/12/2023 20:09

It really fucking hurts doesn't it? A bit of ripping / banter is one thing but we are all actually people with hearts.

What is a five second typing exercise can be something someone will remember and doubt themselves over for a long time coming.

OP posts:
ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 30/12/2023 20:09

Yes, had a couple of really nasty posts directed at me - oddly enough, both on separate Christmas Days (not the one just gone). On both occasions I was feeling a bit fragile and ended up in tears. Not my best MN experience - but the supportive/humorous/interesting posts outweigh the horrible ones.

Grimchmas · 30/12/2023 20:11

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 30/12/2023 20:09

Yes, had a couple of really nasty posts directed at me - oddly enough, both on separate Christmas Days (not the one just gone). On both occasions I was feeling a bit fragile and ended up in tears. Not my best MN experience - but the supportive/humorous/interesting posts outweigh the horrible ones.

This Christmas day just gone I saw a few people being really vile. How fucking sad and bitter do you have to be to piss on somebody's chips on Christmas day ffs!

March2024baby · 30/12/2023 20:11

(Name changed recently!) People have made a couple of personal comments but I tend to think - there is no way you would say that IRL/you don't know me and I don't want to give anyone the satisfaction tbh. A lot of people say things thinking it's a 'gotcha' or will bring you down. I refuse to be arsed with them and most of the time I will make a point of not replying but replying to others who are more constructive, or ignoring any rude comments and just sending a neutral pleasant response to their actual points. I don't see the point in arguing for its own sake. Some people want to get something useful out of the conversation and some people are just dicks who are here to prove a point at any cost.

TheSunIsOutAndTheSkyIsBlue · 30/12/2023 20:11

No, I was a bit shocked in the early days when I posted about my daughter getting told off for wearing Uggs to school, and I was routinely blasted for allowing her 😂

But I now unfollow threads once I have posted a controversial comment. So have no idea what comments I get (probably none!)

Bippitybobbityboing · 30/12/2023 20:17

Yes my first ever post was about my ds in his swimming lesson.
He was 3.5 and had just started his first "proper" lessons where I didn't get in with him.

He hadn't behaved well and I was wondering if he was just too young and whether I should pull him out and wait a year.

A poster replied almost immediately saying:

"Why the fuck didn't you get in with him?" Calling me a neglectful mother and not understanding how those lessons worked at all.

It upset me at the time but 6 years on she's still got the same user name and really relishes being unkind to people for little or no reason.

ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 30/12/2023 20:20

@TheSunIsOutAndTheSkyIsBlue unfortunately sometimes “posting a controversial comment” is when the OP asks for opinions, you give yours, they dot agree as actually, they were just looking for people to agree with them, and you get spitefully slammed. Just ignore

IncompleteSenten · 30/12/2023 20:28

Years ago someone said my children being autistic was my karma for not befriending a boy that with the benefit of hindsight has autism when I was in junior school.

That hurt but mostly it made me wish keyboards came with a punch button that you could press and the other person would get sucker punched through their screen.

Now I'm older and crankier and I don't give a fuck what people on the internet think about me. People (online and in RL) have only the power to hurt you that you give them. If you don't give a shit what someone thinks, they are powerless to hurt your feelings.

festivetinseling · 30/12/2023 20:48

I've had one poster be really vindictive and spiteful towards me, yet if I changed username and posted an almost identical comment (it was accidental the first time) on the same thread, they'd be all jolly and joking and agreeing with me. I tested it out on several threads over several days, and the poster would be antagonistic to one of my usernames and not the other. V weird.

Cloudcover12 · 30/12/2023 20:56

I moved here two years ago and struggled with the anti-American comments on here. It’s not serious or targeted like some of the other posts here but it did upset me. It still does sometimes although less so.