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Original poster

Has anyone on here ever hurt your feelings?

157 replies

NewYearNewMeBullshit · 30/12/2023 19:45

I've had loads of support and advice on here over the years, some really nice people.

But there have been a couple of rubbish ones too!

Has anyone ever been bruised on here? I had one comment I've never quite forgotten. Shouldn't take it personally I guess!

OP posts:
OdeToBarney · 30/12/2023 23:03

I've quite the newbie, having only been around for 4 or 5 years, and I NC reasonably often. But I've been called shit at my job (because I missed a line in OPs post when dealing with a very unwell newborn) for which I apologised... I've been called a liar and a troll when people didn't believe something I'd posted later on in a thread I'd started - I hadn't mentioned it earlier because I didn't think it was that important, but people were adamant I'd made it up to improve my "story" 🙄... I've been called a shit mother this week because I supported an OPs decision to ask her drug addicted 16 year old to leave their home to protect her younger children (I unfortunately have extensive experience of addiction through more than one person)...my opinions on c-sections and feeding have been shot down...so pretty much everything really 🤣

Yes, it can hurt, but I've developed a thicker skin and I've also learnt a lot from MN. Everything comes at a price I guess, although I do swear at my phone an awful lot 🙃

Mindovermatter247 · 30/12/2023 23:19

No, I’ve got pissed off over some comments but never hurt my feelings, I’ve not cried since I was 15, it takes a lot… and I can guarantee someone I don’t know defo wouldn’t hurt my feelings.

MargaretThursday · 30/12/2023 23:22

Not hurt so much as bemused.
I posted one of those scenarios when you have 3Dc where every option is vaguely unfair to one, but isn't a major issue.

I posted it in chat, one day when I was bored because I had been tossing the options up, wasn't really worried about which option I'd choose so wondered if anyone from outside had any different ideas or something I hadn't thought of .
I was fairly clear on that being how I was feeling about it.

Got only a few replies all of which said along the lines of "why are you worrying about it? First world problem" and enlarging how I was stressing about something far too much and should consider going for counselling or preferably to the Dr for medicating.
That I obviously couldn't cope with my dc if I was so worked up about making such a decision.

Was such an ott reaction and no one even bothered answering the actual scenario.

icelollybrolly · 30/12/2023 23:24

i posted about my miscarriage on here asking for advice and got loads of people calling me a troll for some reason. was already having an awful time and then found myself banned by mnhq because a load of people just decided it was a trolling thread when it really wasn’t. made me feel so alone.

Vinrouge4 · 30/12/2023 23:24

There are some very aggressive people on mumsnet who seem to take pleasure in making nasty comments. I see the same names crop up time and again. They must have very sad lives.

Tara336 · 30/12/2023 23:25

Yes someone on step parents thread tore into me when I answered a question about whether step parents should be involved in something (can't remember what now) I said no and why I thought that and this one poster just went nuts at me. Yet I didn't say anything controversial or particularly different to anyone else on the thread. It really was a full on nasty attack. I didn't comment on anything for a while afterwards as it shocked me so much

Alittlebitwary · 30/12/2023 23:33

I had a horrific one once when I had just had my second child and had one of those days - just a terrible day with my emotional and difficult toddler, and was after some parenting support. Posters instead fixated on a word I used for "meltdown" that was apparently offensive to Irish people (I had absolutely no idea, was just a term I'd always heard growing up, thought it just meant tantrum), and ended up having the thread deleted because I got so much abuse about it after my already awful day. The abuse continued even after I'd corrected myself and apologised so I didn't post for a long time after that.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 30/12/2023 23:33

The people who argue about practically anything almost certainly do it in real life too. Imagine that.

Bippitybobbityboing · 30/12/2023 23:39

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 30/12/2023 23:33

The people who argue about practically anything almost certainly do it in real life too. Imagine that.

Do you think so?
I've always thought that the people who just enjoy being unpleasant and argumentative on here are actually lovely, calm "how does she stay so serene?" Types irl and they see Mumsnet as an outlet for their darker side.

Decemberdodo · 30/12/2023 23:39

Yes, but it wasn't the nasty trolls trying to kick me while I was down who had me in tears, it was the ones offering sympathy and support. The bullies just made my shell harder, the ones who made me break down were the ones who were nice to me. Guess I wasn't used to that, unlike the bullying.

I've realised a lot about myself and the people in my life since discovering MN, and I've been able to make some decent changes as a result of stuff I've found out about on here, so it's been a pretty good experience overall.

Tilllly · 30/12/2023 23:43

TheaJess · 30/12/2023 20:59

Yes, I posted a on TTC thread about my difficulties and everyone seemed to acknowledge each other apart from me. This is the first time I’ve posted since.

I've had that happen to me, 2 or 3 times, not on TTC, just on general threads. Try not to take it personally, those people don't know you so how could it be personal? (Just feels it!)

ReJoyce · 30/12/2023 23:49

Yep, years ago a user with garden in their name quoted my post in a thread about childbirth, something along lines discussing if women wanted dps there and did dps want to be there, my comment was dh wouldnt have missed being there for the world but didnt like seeing me in pain.

The poster quoted my post sayng what an awful unpleasant relationship we must have, etc.

Utterly batshit but they then ignored my later post on the thread asking them why they thought this while they still continued posting on same thread.

They name changed to a french equivelent and when i spotted eitjer user name it rankled me.

Then i just decided they were a goady dick with not much better to do😂

They are probably still on here, who knows.

Yozzer87 · 30/12/2023 23:52

Yes I have. I was already low and have been suicidal in the past. Big mistake posting. Luckily I was able to talk it over with people I know in real life to know to ground me.

Delassalle · 30/12/2023 23:55

No, I'm not a wet wipe.

Complete strangers on the internet are entitled to their thoughts and opinions of anything I may write and I can choose to take remarks onboard or not but it's only my loved ones opinions that are of any concern to me.

Cincinnatus · 30/12/2023 23:57

Never. Just words on a screen. I also never go back to a thread I’ve posted on. I post my comment and that is it. So if people have quoted me or replied with anything shitty, I would never see it.

PinkCandles · 30/12/2023 23:59

Cincinnatus · 30/12/2023 23:57

Never. Just words on a screen. I also never go back to a thread I’ve posted on. I post my comment and that is it. So if people have quoted me or replied with anything shitty, I would never see it.

Same. I don't have notifications switched on for people quoting or tagging me.

ImTiredBoss · 31/12/2023 00:01

A long time ago, I had a nervous breakdown and was so unwell that I had to leave work over it.

I started to take up drawing as an emotional outlet. I wasn't really that good at it, but it added a bit of joy to my traumatic, soulless life.

One day, I drew something that I was actually really proud of. I was so excited for the first time in months that my drawings were getting better, and in my joy, I posted a picture of it here to share and explained my situation.

A lot of posters laughed at my drawing, mocked it, told me it was shit, told me not to give up the day job (I know it's just a saying, but seeing as I explained that I had to leave my job due to mental illness, this seemed particularly cruel).

One particular poster's words have always stuck by me all these years (paraphrasing): "by all means, continue to draw if it makes you feel better but don't kid yourself that you're any good at it or expect us to tell you your 'art' is nice when it's shite'.

It was the last time I ever drew, and I threw out all my sketch books after that.

EvilElsa · 31/12/2023 00:08

I will say that as much as posters can be awful on here, I did post once when I was really struggling and got amazing responses, heartfelt support and it genuinely helped. MN can be brilliant as well as horrible. I suppose any forum is the same - a real mix. Just remember, a lot of the shitty responses are from people who are made up, very unhappy or just on the wind up to make a dramatic and exciting thread. It's not what they really think at all, it's fiction.

OdeToBarney · 31/12/2023 00:09

ImTiredBoss · 31/12/2023 00:01

A long time ago, I had a nervous breakdown and was so unwell that I had to leave work over it.

I started to take up drawing as an emotional outlet. I wasn't really that good at it, but it added a bit of joy to my traumatic, soulless life.

One day, I drew something that I was actually really proud of. I was so excited for the first time in months that my drawings were getting better, and in my joy, I posted a picture of it here to share and explained my situation.

A lot of posters laughed at my drawing, mocked it, told me it was shit, told me not to give up the day job (I know it's just a saying, but seeing as I explained that I had to leave my job due to mental illness, this seemed particularly cruel).

One particular poster's words have always stuck by me all these years (paraphrasing): "by all means, continue to draw if it makes you feel better but don't kid yourself that you're any good at it or expect us to tell you your 'art' is nice when it's shite'.

It was the last time I ever drew, and I threw out all my sketch books after that.

That's so sad, I'm sorry 😞

Maddy70 · 31/12/2023 00:10

Yes. Some people are. Bullies. By nature and keyboard warriors.

peachgreen · 31/12/2023 00:11

I was accused of lying about my DH’s hospital admittance and subsequent death. That floored me.

Original poster
NewYearNewMeBullshit · 31/12/2023 00:11

ImTiredBoss · 31/12/2023 00:01

A long time ago, I had a nervous breakdown and was so unwell that I had to leave work over it.

I started to take up drawing as an emotional outlet. I wasn't really that good at it, but it added a bit of joy to my traumatic, soulless life.

One day, I drew something that I was actually really proud of. I was so excited for the first time in months that my drawings were getting better, and in my joy, I posted a picture of it here to share and explained my situation.

A lot of posters laughed at my drawing, mocked it, told me it was shit, told me not to give up the day job (I know it's just a saying, but seeing as I explained that I had to leave my job due to mental illness, this seemed particularly cruel).

One particular poster's words have always stuck by me all these years (paraphrasing): "by all means, continue to draw if it makes you feel better but don't kid yourself that you're any good at it or expect us to tell you your 'art' is nice when it's shite'.

It was the last time I ever drew, and I threw out all my sketch books after that.

Mate this really fucking hurts! Please get some more sketch books 📚 xx ♥️

OP posts:
InAMess2023 · 31/12/2023 00:13

Me: i have autism
Poster: no you don't, you can't possibly, you don't meet the criteria
Me; why would I honestly make it up?
Poster: crickets

Some come on then @Cl3mantina I'm still waiting... because as one of the 'be kind' brigade you're pretty fucking hurtful

Original poster
NewYearNewMeBullshit · 31/12/2023 00:14

peachgreen · 31/12/2023 00:11

I was accused of lying about my DH’s hospital admittance and subsequent death. That floored me.

Oh I remember you and every time I read a post about bereavement I look for you in the hope you'll say you're okay. I read your thread and I remember you just wanting to die, but then I also remember later on you saying you'd found love again. I really hope you and your daughter are happy and at peace. Happy New Year x

OP posts:
FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 31/12/2023 00:20

Got only a few replies all of which said along the lines of "why are you worrying about it? First world problem"

Ooh, the thread police who think that they have the veto on what is or isn't worthy of a thread. Like this is a UN global summit rather than an informal chat forum.

It would take you well over 10,000 years to read and watch everything that's on the internet, so if there's the odd MN thread that just doesn't grab your interest at all, I really don't think you're at risk of running out of alternative content that you might prefer.