Has anyone on here ever hurt your feelings?

[NewYearNewMeBullshit]

I've had loads of support and advice on here over the years, some really nice people.

But there have been a couple of rubbish ones too!

Has anyone ever been bruised on here? I had one comment I've never quite forgotten. Shouldn't take it personally I guess!

Ooh now I'm curious..what word did you use? I promise i won't judge.

I presume it was an informal variant of the name Patrick?

@ImTiredBoss Im sorry that stopped you. I hope you find the joy in drawing again.

For me, I find it frustrating when people misread things. I’ve had it one or two times. Do you bother to take the time to explain or just let it go in hope that others see they’ve made a mistake?

I am put off writing any serious thread about sensitive issues as you’ll get some mean comments regardless.

The abuse continued even after I'd corrected myself and apologised so I didn't post for a long time after that

I hate when that happens. OPs can’t apologise and move on they always continue being hammered.

I've had people be really rude - but it really does upset me to see others ripped to shreds, particularly were a group of posters seem to deliberately misunderstand the OP's points and take the thread in the wrong direction. I want to defend all those getting a good kicking when they are down.

I'm currently trying to sell my house in really difficult personal circumstances and sometimes post on the Property/DIY topic for advice and/or comment on other threads about house sales. There's one poster who utterly delights in any problems sellers are explaining, contributes nothing to the thread other than schaudenfreude but always stays within the guidelines so there's nothing to report him for, other than being a dickhead (don't think that's against the MN rules).

Only really when someone infers motive (obv without any justification)
It always seems unkind and unhelpful
I tend to challenge it but initially when it happened to me, I was taken aback and kept re-reading my post to see why they thought that

Unfortunately yes, at a time where I was utterly devastated. The comment was personal and uncalled for - took me to a whole new low

There's a special place in hell reserved for people who read a very moving first post, usually involving desperate times or illness or bereavement etc and the only thing that they have to say is that the OP has misspelled a word.

Only once, usually I take things with a lick of salt.

First time mother, tried to breastfeed, had amazing help from nhs and lactation consultants. After trying everything, specific prescription drugs, pumping all hours, skin to skin all the time, and the consultants saying it looked like I didn’t have enough milk duct glands as I’d been trying for months (turns out my breasts didn’t develop properly in puberty). I was so distraught. Most people were lovely, but there was one poster that was an absolute dickhead and it made me feel awful. Thank god I was able to get over it.

Yes more than once and usually on the feminism type threads (I no longer post at all on the feminism board for this reason). I've always made my points very politely and made clear that I'm offering an aspect for discussion or alternative viewpoint, but have been made to feel that I'm not "feministing" in the approved way so I should just fuck off with my arse kicked for not kowtowing. Makes me feel like saying "good luck with gaining new recruits to the mission, sisters, you'll need it with that unwelcoming attitude!"

Aaaahhh I feel better for saying that.

(Ardent feminist for the avoidance of doubt.)

Yes .
Some people are very cruel here .

I was told I was bullshitting about a late pregnancy loss , I posted pics of my memory box but the thread was deleted .

Everything I've said was called into question despite being a long time poster but name changer because people here now make it their job to research every single post and regurgitate it in every single thread.

I don't post anything anymore about my situation. I took an overdose in November because I've had enough of life . It used to help to chat here but not now . I post to try and help others but I won't talk about myself anymore or my situation.

Not for a long time. I have a thicker skin now! I remember posting here on AIBU (rookie mistake) about my apprehension of having my toddler stay with my ex MIL after she had just had a serious mental breakdown. She was sectioned and put her own children at risk at the time. My ex had done a runner but she still wanted to see her grandchild. I posted at the time that I wasn't conformable sending him over and got a huuuuuuge backlash from posters saying I was discriminating against mental health, it wasn't her fault her son wasn't in the picture etc. It got quite nasty at one point like I was blaming her for being ill. It was my first experience here and I didn't come back for about 5 years!

Someone here told me that my toddler was behaving in the way he was because I was a

neglectful mother for letting him eat too many apples, which was bound to cause a sugar high. I was really feeling terrible about my parenting and the one good thing was my child ate healthily. So this made me feel even worse.

Said toddler is autistic and now attends a special school. He still loves fruit, and I am a pretty amazing mum 😄

I'm just glad that most people I meet in real life are not so keen to lash out.

What a lovely thing to say, thank you so much. I am, as you hope, okay – a new kind of okay, an up and down okay, but okay nonetheless. Thank you

Yep lots of times and then I leave but come back as a lurker. Posted more recently but always what I think are neutral or non provocative comments like asking for food recommendations as it can be a real nest of vipers

Yeah I’ve made posts for personal advice here and there over the years on this site and most of the time most of the comments are mean and really judgemental

That’s really made me sad. I hope you start again. All that matters in art is if you like it and enjoyed making it.

@capabilityfrowns I’ve had threads deleted as well after some people thought I was making it up. I don’t know if it’s like I’m genuinely a weirdo that people can’t relate to or if it’s just the demographic of the site and the people that work for it are biased. Either way it narrows the conversation. I’m sorry that happened to you I think the internet can bring out the worst in people.

Must have been about 15 years ago; someone clapped back at me - I can't remember what it was about - and I burst into tears. I remember having a stern chat with myself. None of these women know me in RL, random idiots in cyberspace, etc etc. I stayed off MN for a few days and I've never since let myself be affected.

Sorry to hear that @ImTiredBoss - I hope you consider taking up sketching again, it's such a good outlet.

Not hurt, but definitely frustrated.

I posted looking for advice about getting a termination. I was told I was disgusting and didn't deserve to be able to get pregnant. Some of the comments were vile and I deleted my account and didn't come back for a few years. In the end I terminated as there was a medical reason why it was the best decision.

Years later I made reference to this on here and was told I was lying as every poster on MN is pro-choice and I would never receive nasty posts on a thread about terminations. I tried to defend myself and was called a liar, a weirdo, clearly ASD, a troll and a controlling bitch 😕 amongst other nastiness. That was all from the same poster and her comments were deleted but others started supporting her and posting their own nasty comments. What hurt most were her comments about my dreadful personality and how awful a person I must be in real life. I saw posts from that person being a dick to others too so she obviously gets off on being nasty to people for no reason.

Even a few years later I'm 99% just a lurker and usually avoid passing comment on anything. I also frequently name change.

I got told by several people I was mental, and should have got over being raped after 20 years. One poster was particularly rabid and when I said I was leaving the thread, posted something along the lines of it being easier to hide behind a computer screen and run away rather than face up to how ridiculous I was. My crime was to post about how I was upset by a nasty sexist “joke” someone had made at my expense

I have had one or two kicking over the years... I'm not so affected by the ones who are just horrible from the first post, the ones that really cut deep for me are those people who seem intent on misunderstanding everything you say and as a PP said, inferring motive that isn't there.
Having said that I once really upset someone on a thread about how to dress babies, with my observation that working class people seem to spend more money and effort than middle class on making their small kids look well dressed and neat in brand new clothes, probably because they felt a pressure to show that they had enough money, which middle class don't experience. Someone on the thread told me it was the unkindest comment she had ever read. I felt bad - reading it back I could see how it might sound snobbish, I didn't mean it like that, I was talking from the perspective of having grown up wc and (despite my fancy job) mostly being viewed as wc now. But I could see how it came across as a judgement from the outside rather than an observation from within. So knowing how I got it wrong I try to apply that to other posters - but some people are definitely just trying to be as unpleasant as possible. I wish there was a sort of tagging system within Mumsnet where you could just assign a poster a colour, say, that only you could see but would highlight them on other threads. I'm sure it would turn out to be a small handful of really unhappy people doing like 90% of the hurtful posts.