Partner says I'm "ignorant" for going out today -when his family are coming over-am I?

[louisejaynn]

We live together.
Back in October I said why don't you invite sister and niece over Boxing Day-I will do food and we can play games etc
He said no-they have their own life etc
I asked a few times in December and kept telling just to ask them.
He said no.
So Boxing Day (today ) I arranged to meet a friend for lunch and do some sales shopping
Partner was watching racing /football anyway so didn't think twice.
Last night he said "oh sister text she's coming over tomorrow "
I asked what time and he said "she didn't say"
I asked him to ask or at least say can you come after 4 and I can prepare food.
He said no I can't do that ,they will have things to do
This morning she texts him saying il be over at 1
I said well I won't be in.
He said I'm ignorant for going out when his family are going over ....but I had already made plans and gave him plenty of options to invite them.
Am I ignorant ?
He is texting now saying -try and get back I'm embarrassed you have chose shopping over my family and that they have a gift for me
I'm sat in a cafe with friend-she's gone to pop to boots so now I feel so bad for not being home
Am I in the wrong ?

You’re his partner not his mum. He can’t expect you to be readily available to prioritise him whenever he clicks his fingers. Good for you for still going out.
Drop his family a breezy text and say “so sorry I missed you. Dp didn’t mention you were coming over until last night and I did ask him to ask you if you could come later as I had long standing plans but wanted to see you and feed you but he didn’t want to ask you that. Hope to catch up soon”. That way you’re making it clear it’s a him problem and not a reflection of your relationship with them.

I'd say he does, and he's accurate.

Because OP was indeed ignorant of these plans because he didn't bloody tell her

All his own doing. He can sort it out

You gave him more than ample opportunity to make plans (having asked back in October and several times in December). He is the one who has failed to communicate, so do not put up with any attempts by him to put this on you

Fuck that, you’re not his mum! Why should it be up to you to entertain his family.

Not sure why you’re still with him, but if you are going to stay with him, nip this in the bud. He is quite capable of making food and drinks himself, he is a grown ass man. He is in a mood because he can’t sit on his arse and get you to do the running around.

this won't get better. he is a selfish man child. leave him now. do not help him propagate his selfish manchild genes. you will not be able to parent with him.

I would be looking for someone else to live with if I were you...

You gave him tons of chances to get Xmas plans sorted and he didn't, so it's completely on him.

Why are you with such a useless lump of clay? Yes, it's a bit ignorant not to see you're dating a man-boy who expects you to do everything.

You asked him to invite them over loads and he kept putting it off and then she texts last minute. Are you expecting to sit around waiting for them NO. Stop even thinking about them and hope you enjoyed your day. Imagine your life with him if you have children. Do your own thing and unless firm plans in place you have done nothing wrong. Tell him to just stop now with his nonsense as he is controlling and not organized at all.

I think I'd have to dump him over using the word 'ignorant' incorrectly. I presume he means 'rude'.

Definition of ''Ignorant'

INFORMAL
discourteous or rude.

So he used it correctly - in his view.

Sadly it's more applicable to him

He used it correctly (in his eyes)

So... He used it incorrectly then... Just because he thinks it's correct doesn't make it correct... Sorry pet peve when people use ignorant for rude.

You asked the horse if it wanted water and it said no. You printed out the addresses and contact details of five local places to drink and it ate the paper. You showed it how to google "places to drink near me" and it trampled your phone. You bought it a six pack of Evian, left the caps off and gave it a bendy straw and it kicked the bottles over. Finally, you led it, kicking and screaming, to water, which it point blank refused to drink. And now, halfway home, the horse suddenly declares it's thirsty and that it's all your fault if it dies of dehydration.

Tell Seabiscuit to fuck right off.

Get rid. He sounds like an arse.

Can he wipe his arse without you?!

So many threads recently where I cannot believe women are prepared to have sex with these useless man babies, how can you find such patheticness attractive?

I’d message his sister to explain that you had prearranged plans and he could entertain her.

Jesus H.
The lengths a woman will go to to have a boyfriend.

See my other post with the definition. It does mean rude

He’s an idiot for not telling you they were coming, hardly your fault he text them and told them to come when you were going out but your communication sounds poor on both sides. Did you tell him you had made a date to go out with your mate?

Get Some standards for goodness sake.

He said he's embarrassed I'm not with him

Why aren't you embarrassed to be with him?

If you're really drunk and you've mis-identified a 12 year old child in your post, then you probably shouldn't have left him to try and host adults. If not then why are you dating this man child? Even if he's a billionaire whose cock shoots stars it would still be baffling.

Well he should be embarrassed. That he's a useless, lazy twat.

I'm agreeing with everyone else. He's ridiculous.

You asked him if he'd like to invite his sister over. You offered several times and he declined. You then made your own plans.

I'd have laughed in his silly little face today and said, 'Great. Have fun, but I'm now busy with a friend who DID make plans with me.'

I would not have offered to get back for 4pm and make food. I'd be looking to dump him, to be honest. He doesn't sound grown up.

FFS.

Is he breathing unaided?

He sounds like a useless sack of shit, truly. Treat yourself and dump him for the new year. Please. 😬

Is he massively under confident with his family? Sounds like he’s too scared to make proper plans with his own family - weirdo.