Partner says I'm "ignorant" for going out today -when his family are coming over-am I?

[louisejaynn]

We live together.
Back in October I said why don't you invite sister and niece over Boxing Day-I will do food and we can play games etc
He said no-they have their own life etc
I asked a few times in December and kept telling just to ask them.
He said no.
So Boxing Day (today ) I arranged to meet a friend for lunch and do some sales shopping
Partner was watching racing /football anyway so didn't think twice.
Last night he said "oh sister text she's coming over tomorrow "
I asked what time and he said "she didn't say"
I asked him to ask or at least say can you come after 4 and I can prepare food.
He said no I can't do that ,they will have things to do
This morning she texts him saying il be over at 1
I said well I won't be in.
He said I'm ignorant for going out when his family are going over ....but I had already made plans and gave him plenty of options to invite them.
Am I ignorant ?
He is texting now saying -try and get back I'm embarrassed you have chose shopping over my family and that they have a gift for me
I'm sat in a cafe with friend-she's gone to pop to boots so now I feel so bad for not being home
Am I in the wrong ?

Jesus fucking christ....do NOT remain with this absolute piece of shit waste of space

He does have a clue. He just thinks it's your job to sort it out

I’m embarrassed for him - not because you’ve gone out but because he’s thinking it’s ignorant or embarrassing of you to not be there.

I would actually make an effort to be there to see his family but I wouldn’t drop everything I was doing.

I would text one of them (not DP) and say you’re so sorry you’re not there and you’re out shopping as DP didn’t think you were coming over.
Say you’ll be back by X time.

It could be that DP had known they were coming and what time all along but just didn’t want you going out with your friend.

Wow he's a keeper this one, innit?

Out of curiosity, did you grow up with your mum doing everything for your dad, and this is why you are accepting living like this?

Point out he could have acted like an adult not a child and then he wouldn’t be embarrassed. Then point out exactly what you’ve said about trying to organise it earlier in the month and him saying no and trying to get him to arrange a later time which he also refused to attempt.

This is not a problem with you being rude, it’s him being helpless. If he’s always like this he’s not a keeper OP.

Stop prompting a grown man to get presents for his family. If he forgets, that's between him and his family. he will be wanting you to take on this service human role, so just don't Btw also dump his ass, and when you get a new one also dont prompt and dont buy for his family.

He's an arse. You're with him because ... ?

Do not have children with this manchild

You can’t reason with your soon to be ex - that’s too hard. Just dump him.

He's mad because he wanted you to change your plans when his family decided to show up at the last minute. The lazy knob wanted you there to be a skivvy and cook and clean for them, but instead of being honest about it he gaslighted you by calling you names.

He is NOT a keeper.

He is so ignorant that he doesn't even know what 'ignorant' means.

When other people show you what they are, believe them.

This “man” is an arse. Throw this one back. Being alone would be infinitely better than being shackled to this manipulative, lying twat.

If he can't manage basic hospitality or household tasks, he's not really a long term prospect to live with is he?

He's ineffectual and an idiot. Overall, why bother!

This!!

Ignorant: INFORMAL
discourteous or rude.
"this ignorant, pin-brained receptionist"

He does know the meaning of the word. That's the only thing he's doing right though.

If you have been together since October you have already been dating him for too long.
He does obviously think it is your job to do his hosting for him, as well as cleaning and cooking.
He isn't sounding great.

So in his way of thinking his family won't want to come over at your suggestion because they 'have their own lives' and therefore won't want to bother with your invitation.

When they decide at the last minute to come over at a time when you won't be there because you've made a prior arrangement to meet a friend because you have your own life, he expects you to cancel your arrangements, and if you don't you're ignorant and embarrassing him because he wants you there to do all the wife work.

Bloody hell.

Do you really need such a lazy, disrespectful arse in your life?

Are you sure you want to make a future with this manbaby? Sounds like he’s got you down as some kind of unpaid domestic servant. This kind of man will end up as a terrible burden to you if you have kids; an extra kid to look after. I’d draw a line and explain to him calmly and lovingly that it’s time to grow up. You are not his mummy.

Your partner is now experiencing what happens when you don't communicate effectively. It's his problem.

Does he have Learning Difficulties?

If not, stop acting as his social worker. You are being taken advantage of… and insulted and name-called on top of it, that’s not love, that abuse?

Next, you’ll be wiping his arse for him.

Be kinder to yourself, he’s certainly not interested in doing that.

What is he good at?

Well he fucked around and now he's finding out! Enjoy your shopping trip op!