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Original poster

Why is it acceptable to openly body shame thin people?

241 replies

Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:31

I'm 5'8 and 9st 5lbs. Perfectly normal weight.

All my life, especially when I was younger and slimmer, people have felt far too comfortable commenting on and criticising my weight. "Ooh you're too skinny" "oh look, it's a skeleton" "don't you eat" "are you anorexic" etc etc.

I've noticed the people who do this are always fat and frequently on a diet. A friend of mine used to be obsessed with my weight, she'd comment on it, she'd speak to other friends behind my back about it. She was one of the greediest people I've ever met, she licked her plate clean for goodness sake. She'd tell me how unhealthy my eating was, yet I was normal weight and toned, she was overweight and on yet another cottage cheese crash diet. Hardly the picture of health.

The most recent was a teacher at DCs school acting shocked. Apparently I "looked so thin, like I'd lost weight" she looked like she'd put about 4 stone on but if I said that to her, I'd be a bitch. After three decades of this double standard, I'm absolutely sick of it. Why do they do it? Why is it seen as acceptable or important to anyone?

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 23/12/2023 20:32

Because people want to be thin. As you well know.

Boomboom22 · 23/12/2023 20:32

Yanbu. Its because they are jealous and eat too much!

SoupDragon · 23/12/2023 20:32

DinaofCloud9 · 23/12/2023 20:32

Because people want to be thin. As you well know.

And you think that makes it fine to be rude?

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 20:34

They are rude to make themselves feel better

MysticalMegx · 23/12/2023 20:35

Iv always been slim and hated it. Everyone used to say you've no fat on you, you're so skinny, you need to put on weight.
I was never underweight, just petite.
I used to think, you wouldn't go up to a fat person and say "you're fat you need to lose weight." It doesn't make a difference to a slim person it still hurts, just because they're slim doesn't mean they're happy.

Original poster
Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:35

DinaofCloud9 · 23/12/2023 20:32

Because people want to be thin. As you well know.

Why do they act like they're disgusted by it then?

OP posts:
peonygrace · 23/12/2023 20:37

As someone who was previously obese and now with a BMI of 19 and size 8-10 and perfectly happy with my size... I've been astounded how many people comment on my size and feel comfortable reminding me I should eat more and gain some weight! Yet when my health was at risk with being overweight, nobody said a word!

Sorrynotsore · 23/12/2023 20:37

Try being fat and then see what body shaming and weight stigma is. It's no acceptable for anyone to comment on others bodies. But it's not comparable to fat stigma and shaming. People think it's ok because it's our beauty standard to aim for thiness.

cryinglaughing · 23/12/2023 20:38

The irony of you referring to people as greedy and putting on 4st is hilarious.
It seems what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

Original poster
Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:38

MysticalMegx · 23/12/2023 20:35

Iv always been slim and hated it. Everyone used to say you've no fat on you, you're so skinny, you need to put on weight.
I was never underweight, just petite.
I used to think, you wouldn't go up to a fat person and say "you're fat you need to lose weight." It doesn't make a difference to a slim person it still hurts, just because they're slim doesn't mean they're happy.

I used to be so insecure about it, I'd cover my arms even on hot days because I was so self conscious. It's so rude and damaging.

OP posts:
MacLaine · 23/12/2023 20:38

Because they’re jealous!

ChristmasSteps295 · 23/12/2023 20:39

It's envy.

Original poster
Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:39

cryinglaughing · 23/12/2023 20:38

The irony of you referring to people as greedy and putting on 4st is hilarious.
It seems what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

It's purposeful. I didn't notice her weight until she started being offensive about mine. I couldn't give a shit how much someone weighs. It doesn't take up my brain space as it's not my problem.

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 23/12/2023 20:39

I don’t think most people do. If they do then pull them up on it, it’s rude.

You are quite body shaming yourself BTW

updownleftrightstart · 23/12/2023 20:39

Stop worrying about sounding like a bitch and be rude back. I don’t give a shit anymore, if people comment on my weight I do the same to them.

Original poster
Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:39

Sorrynotsore · 23/12/2023 20:37

Try being fat and then see what body shaming and weight stigma is. It's no acceptable for anyone to comment on others bodies. But it's not comparable to fat stigma and shaming. People think it's ok because it's our beauty standard to aim for thiness.

How do you know?

OP posts:
ShittingPeugeot · 23/12/2023 20:40

I've had it all my life too OP even when I was pregnant. 5'5 and fluctuate between 8-9 stone.
I got told to 'just eat more burgers'
'Look like a skeleton'
'You can see her bones'

Etc etc

And truth be told the ONLY people who have skinny shamed me or said anything negative about it, are fat people. Not all fat people are rude of course, but they seem to me the ones who want to bring down slimmer women. I either stand up for myself now, or put it down to them projecting.

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:40

I was called skinny frequently, never really offended by it & for a time was naturally underweight. Oh & was called skinny by people who weren’t fat. Never really bothered me as most of society sees it as a positive. It’s a bit like complaining about being too good looking!

MacLaine · 23/12/2023 20:40

updownleftrightstart · 23/12/2023 20:39

Stop worrying about sounding like a bitch and be rude back. I don’t give a shit anymore, if people comment on my weight I do the same to them.

Oh how I wish I had the courage to be this sassy!

theduchessofspork · 23/12/2023 20:40

updownleftrightstart · 23/12/2023 20:39

Stop worrying about sounding like a bitch and be rude back. I don’t give a shit anymore, if people comment on my weight I do the same to them.

It would be more productive to tell them it’s rude to comment on someone’s weight / appearance, wouldn’t it.

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 20:41

Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:35

Why do they act like they're disgusted by it then?

Show quote history

If they are acting disgusted, it likely means they are actually disgusted by themselves

frenchtipss · 23/12/2023 20:41

I've had this. I remember in primary school a very large girl made fun of me for being skinny and I commented on her weight - she didn't like that at all! The comments about my skinniness while growing up made me massively insecure and I never wore dresses or shorts up until my 20's because of it!

Grapefruitstars · 23/12/2023 20:41

Like people being obsessed with my.average 5 foot 3 height and telling me I'm a midget. It's boring.

ShittingPeugeot · 23/12/2023 20:41

Sorrynotsore · 23/12/2023 20:37

Try being fat and then see what body shaming and weight stigma is. It's no acceptable for anyone to comment on others bodies. But it's not comparable to fat stigma and shaming. People think it's ok because it's our beauty standard to aim for thiness.

And there they are, the race to the bottom because it's apparently so much worse for fat people.

You're part of the problem.

ChristmasSteps295 · 23/12/2023 20:41

cryinglaughing · 23/12/2023 20:38

The irony of you referring to people as greedy and putting on 4st is hilarious.
It seems what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

If I wanted to put on four stone in a short period, outside of illness or the side effects of medication, I'd have to eat a ridiculous amount.

So yes, it actually is greedy to eat that much.

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