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Original poster

Why is it acceptable to openly body shame thin people?

241 replies

Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:31

I'm 5'8 and 9st 5lbs. Perfectly normal weight.

All my life, especially when I was younger and slimmer, people have felt far too comfortable commenting on and criticising my weight. "Ooh you're too skinny" "oh look, it's a skeleton" "don't you eat" "are you anorexic" etc etc.

I've noticed the people who do this are always fat and frequently on a diet. A friend of mine used to be obsessed with my weight, she'd comment on it, she'd speak to other friends behind my back about it. She was one of the greediest people I've ever met, she licked her plate clean for goodness sake. She'd tell me how unhealthy my eating was, yet I was normal weight and toned, she was overweight and on yet another cottage cheese crash diet. Hardly the picture of health.

The most recent was a teacher at DCs school acting shocked. Apparently I "looked so thin, like I'd lost weight" she looked like she'd put about 4 stone on but if I said that to her, I'd be a bitch. After three decades of this double standard, I'm absolutely sick of it. Why do they do it? Why is it seen as acceptable or important to anyone?

OP posts:
brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:42

I’m also tall (5ft 10) so was often lanky etc & still some comment on my height, again not offended by it.

Original poster
Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:42

ShittingPeugeot · 23/12/2023 20:40

I've had it all my life too OP even when I was pregnant. 5'5 and fluctuate between 8-9 stone.
I got told to 'just eat more burgers'
'Look like a skeleton'
'You can see her bones'

Etc etc

And truth be told the ONLY people who have skinny shamed me or said anything negative about it, are fat people. Not all fat people are rude of course, but they seem to me the ones who want to bring down slimmer women. I either stand up for myself now, or put it down to them projecting.

Always, always fat people. I've never heard a thin person mention another persons weight. Ever. Not even in private.

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 23/12/2023 20:42

MacLaine · 23/12/2023 20:40

Oh how I wish I had the courage to be this sassy!

Show quote history

It’s not sassy, sassy is bold - this is just rude.

If someone is being rude to you, pull them up on it, being rude back isn’t going to achieve anything.

SD1978 · 23/12/2023 20:42

A post about being body shamed for being normal weight, quickly degenerates into a fat shaming post. Suppose.

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 20:42

Skinny means skin-and-bones, it's not the same as slim, it's incredibly rude.

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:44

Always, always fat people. I've never heard a thin person mention another persons weight. Ever. Not even in private

Theres a gulf between thin & fat or are you one of those who labels anyone who’s not thin as fat?

theduchessofspork · 23/12/2023 20:44

Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:42

Always, always fat people. I've never heard a thin person mention another persons weight. Ever. Not even in private.

Show quote history

🤣

Ah yes, no fat person has ever been bullied for their weight. Not ever.

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:45

I've never heard a thin person mention another persons weight.

Well as someone who worked in fashion I have heard plenty of thin people obsess over weight!

CICTGIGF · 23/12/2023 20:46

I’ve had this too.
People say it’s jealousy/the person showing their own insecurity about their own weight. They also treat it like you should take it almost like a compliment. But there is nothing to feel good about being told you look like a skeleton etc. It’s like people believe just because you are slim you have no right to feel insecure about it. Being slim and being told to eat an extra slice of cake ‘because you need it’ is just as insulting as telling a large person to step away from the cake ‘because you don’t need it’.

Buttercup176 · 23/12/2023 20:46

“It will all change when you have kids.” Nope.
”It will go south when you get to 30.”
Nope
”I could eat what I liked until I got 40, just you wait.”
Just to reiterate, over 40, two kids and still slim!

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:47

If I wanted to put on four stone in a short period, outside of illness or the side effects of medication, I'd have to eat a ridiculous amount.

So yes, it actually is greedy to eat that much.

thats the same mentality that thinks a skinny person just needs to eat cake.

Blushingm · 23/12/2023 20:48

But you are saying mean things about bigger people - that they're greedy etc

updownleftrightstart · 23/12/2023 20:48

theduchessofspork · 23/12/2023 20:40

It would be more productive to tell them it’s rude to comment on someone’s weight / appearance, wouldn’t it.

Show quote history

No, it wouldn’t. Because I tried that for years and it made no difference to the comments I received

Crooklodge · 23/12/2023 20:48

Sorrynotsore · 23/12/2023 20:37

Try being fat and then see what body shaming and weight stigma is. It's no acceptable for anyone to comment on others bodies. But it's not comparable to fat stigma and shaming. People think it's ok because it's our beauty standard to aim for thiness.

Stop eating so much then. Quite simple.

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:49

”I could eat what I liked until I got 40, just you wait.”

It actually did for me! Still slim just not thin, personally I prefer it.

Winterknights · 23/12/2023 20:50

I agree OP.

It’s really fucking rude.

Except I get this from other healthily sized people. So it’s not jealousy. It’s just rudeness.

Really pisses me off.

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 20:51

Blushingm · 23/12/2023 20:48

But you are saying mean things about bigger people - that they're greedy etc

I missed that, who is telling overweight people they are greedy to their face?

Oblomov23 · 23/12/2023 20:52

Some people are underweight and you don't have to be fat to know what underweight looks like.

Rolla23 · 23/12/2023 20:52

I remember when a woman refused to stand next to me in a group photo as apparently I’d make her look fat.
i can’t imagine if I said it the other way.
I never comment on others appearance but people always comment on mine. I’ve had an ED and often when I’ve been at my most unwell I’ve been congratulated.
ugh.

Newsenmum · 23/12/2023 20:52

I hate people constantly commenting on my weight and agree it’s so rude. I go up and down and whenever I lose a bit MIL goes on about it and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. You feel objectified and realise they were thinking about it when you put weight on too.

Let’s just leave women’s bodies alone thanks. I tend to lose weight when I’m not doing well mentally so would love people to f*ck off with talking about my body.

And if you do look a bit skinny/unwell op then it’s even more of a reason for them to shut up.

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:53

I’ve had an ED and often when I’ve been at my most unwell I’ve been congratulated.

what were they congratulating you for? for being very thin?

Newsenmum · 23/12/2023 20:53

Oblomov23 · 23/12/2023 20:52

Some people are underweight and you don't have to be fat to know what underweight looks like.

I agree but constantly commenting on a woman’s body is not ok. And isn’t going to help someone gain weight either.

Newsenmum · 23/12/2023 20:53

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 20:53

I’ve had an ED and often when I’ve been at my most unwell I’ve been congratulated.

what were they congratulating you for? for being very thin?

Exactly. So messed up I hate it.

Icantbedoingwithit · 23/12/2023 20:53

I was incredibly thin in my younger days. I couldn’t put weight on no
matter how I tried. SO many people commented negatively, telling me I was disgusting asking if I was anorexic telling me I was skin and bone. Why comment on my body at all? Would you ask a larger person if they had an eating disorder or tell them they are disgusting to their face?Well I am sure some arseholes would but they are few and far between compared to every second person commenting negatively about someone that is skinny TO THE PERSON! It’s almost like it is allowed and it’s not offensive because you are not fat. Nobody should be commenting on anyone’s size at all. Ever.
Sometimes trying to put weight on is just as hard as trying to lose it. People just say eat more and it’s not that simple. Just the same as saying to someone eat less, not that simple either.

blacksax · 23/12/2023 20:54

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 20:42

Skinny means skin-and-bones, it's not the same as slim, it's incredibly rude.

A family member of mine is naturally extremely slim, he's just made that way and has always been like it. People often comment on how thin he is. They say it to me as well - "Why is he so thin?". It is so unbelievably rude and none of their sodding business.

I wouldn't dream of remarking about someone's physical appearance like that.

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