Page 9 | Why is it acceptable to openly body shame thin people?

Indharma · 2023-12-23T20:31:34+00:00

I'm 5'8 and 9st 5lbs. Perfectly normal weight. All my life, especially when I was younger and slimmer, people have felt far too comfortable commenting on and criticising my weight. "Ooh you're too skinny" "oh look, it's a skeleton" "don't you eat" "are you anorexic" etc etc. I've noticed the people who do this are always fat and frequently on a diet. A friend of mine used to be obsessed with my weight, she'd comment on it, she'd speak to other friends behind my back about it. She was one of the greediest people I've ever met, she licked her plate clean for goodness sake. She'd tell me how unhealthy my eating was, yet I was normal weight and toned, she was overweight and on yet another cottage cheese crash diet. Hardly the picture of health. The most recent was a teacher at DCs school acting shocked. Apparently I "looked so thin, like I'd lost weight" she looked like she'd put about 4 stone on but if I said that to her, I'd be a bitch. After three decades of this double standard, I'm absolutely sick of it. Why do they do it? Why is it seen as acceptable or important to anyone?

Beezknees · 24/12/2023 10:36

YANBU. I've been both thin (when I was younger) AND fat. When I was thin I received more nasty comments than I do now I'm fat, mostly from women. Asked if I had anorexia. Mocked for being flat chested. Told to "eat a burger."

Now I'm fat I can only think of one mean comment I've had from a drunk man in a pub.

It IS usually from women who are jealous of thin women. It's nasty and unnecessary.

If you're fat and don't want to be, do something about it. I'm fat now because I'm lazy and over eat. That's my fault and no one else's.

Ihateboris · 24/12/2023 10:45

Theydontknowaboutus · 24/12/2023 10:34

Yanbu, op. For those saying it's because people are jealous, this may sometimes be the case but on many occasions, people are actually showing their disgust and men are commenting on the desirability, or lack of, of someone's body.

For example, as a teenager, a group of nen in a van shouted out 'skinny tramp' to me. I was mortified. A former bf's middle aged male friend used to tell me to get some meat on my bones. I barely knew him, but he felt he had the right to comment on my body. I have had many such comments - yet I was slim, not dangerously so, no-one needed to make these comments.

Comments like these used to make me feel embarrassed by my body - I didn't do sport as I would have to wear a t shirt. So it can have long term effect. Am older now, and give a lot less fucks, but still have to work hard to ignore the effect of body shaming over the years.

This is very sad to read and I can completely emphasise x

Theydontknowaboutus · 24/12/2023 10:53

Thank you @Ihateboris (love the username)

Poppybob · 24/12/2023 11:00

I think because being overweight is so normalised now that a person who is a healthy weight looks strange. Which is so bizarre

Ihateboris · 24/12/2023 11:06

Poppybob · 24/12/2023 11:00

I think because being overweight is so normalised now that a person who is a healthy weight looks strange. Which is so bizarre

Yes..completely agree!!

Mambo1986 · 24/12/2023 11:13

If anyone takes the time to actually mention this it means that your appearance has made them feel some way about themselves. If they can make you feel bad for being thin it makes them feel better for being fat. It’s weird but it’s kind of how people work remember every piece of media in our society holds being thin as a beauty standard.

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 24/12/2023 11:30

@Indharma they may be able to tell from your attitude and demeanour that you think they're fat, greedy, have gained 4 stone etc.

You are the obsessed one, even if you don't vocalise it. They are simply mirroring.

If you stop mentally judging people, so will they.

ShittingPeugeot · 24/12/2023 12:01

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 24/12/2023 11:30

@Indharma they may be able to tell from your attitude and demeanour that you think they're fat, greedy, have gained 4 stone etc.

You are the obsessed one, even if you don't vocalise it. They are simply mirroring.

If you stop mentally judging people, so will they.

Reread her OP. She did it to prove a point. She's sick of people judging her for her weight so she's retaliating.

ShittingPeugeot · 24/12/2023 12:02

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 24/12/2023 11:30

@Indharma they may be able to tell from your attitude and demeanour that you think they're fat, greedy, have gained 4 stone etc.

You are the obsessed one, even if you don't vocalise it. They are simply mirroring.

If you stop mentally judging people, so will they.

And also, I've never 'mentally judged' anyone for their weight, but I've been judged my whole life for being a bag of bones. So your point is redundant.

ElevenSeven · 24/12/2023 12:10

Poppybob · 24/12/2023 11:00

I think because being overweight is so normalised now that a person who is a healthy weight looks strange. Which is so bizarre

Yeah, this

UCantParkThereSir · 24/12/2023 12:13

This is a picture of me going out for dinner and drinks with friends.
On this night i received 4 unsolicited comments from strangers on my weight. Every single 'comment' was from someone fat or obese. At the bar i was berated for ordering diet lemonade with my vodka.
I've been told to eat more burgers, that i have no meat on my bones. I have also eaten my school packed lunch in the toilets as i got stares as a child in school (i was a lot smaller in school.)

For anyone saying no one body shames a thin person is absolutely so wrong and has no right to gaslight and minimise what people like me go through. I've never in my life been body shamed by someone a healthy weight or size, ever.

What people don't realise, is that I've always struggled to put on weight. I was told my pregnant bump wasn't a 'proper bump' and that my baby wouldn't thrive if I don't 'put a bit of meat on my bones' by people. I had relentless bullying during PE at school and wouldn't get changed for PE in front of anyone in case i got stared at. Swimming lessons at school, I'd get changed in a toilet cubicle. I've been threatened with physical violence and that would be easy because I would quote 'snap in half'.

I've also had someone put a picture of ME as their background on their phone for 'thinspo'.

So yeah, body shaming for slim people does exist. It stinks of jealousy. Just leave us alone.

So whoever says no one body shames thin people, @THisbackwithavengeance, you specifically, you can get fucked. If you want to be this weight, do something about it. But don't you dare take away peoples experiences with being slim or underweight.

UCantParkThereSir · 24/12/2023 12:15

And for what it's worth, i love my figure. And all the abuse over the years has done that, as i put it down to projection and jealousy. It's made me love myself even more.

Newsenmum · 24/12/2023 12:45

LutonBeds · 24/12/2023 09:58

What fucks me off is those people who are thin and go on about how they ‘can’t have a pudding’ or ‘really need to get back on it’ when all they’re doing is looking for people to say ‘Oh God! WHY?! You’re SO thin! I wish I could look like you!’.

Absolute dicks who only look to make others feel bad and then for those people to compliment them. Bore off with your salad and gimme the cheese!

Of course that’s awful but not all thin people do that

Ihateboris · 24/12/2023 13:36

UCantParkThereSir · 24/12/2023 12:13

This is a picture of me going out for dinner and drinks with friends.
On this night i received 4 unsolicited comments from strangers on my weight. Every single 'comment' was from someone fat or obese. At the bar i was berated for ordering diet lemonade with my vodka.
I've been told to eat more burgers, that i have no meat on my bones. I have also eaten my school packed lunch in the toilets as i got stares as a child in school (i was a lot smaller in school.)

For anyone saying no one body shames a thin person is absolutely so wrong and has no right to gaslight and minimise what people like me go through. I've never in my life been body shamed by someone a healthy weight or size, ever.

What people don't realise, is that I've always struggled to put on weight. I was told my pregnant bump wasn't a 'proper bump' and that my baby wouldn't thrive if I don't 'put a bit of meat on my bones' by people. I had relentless bullying during PE at school and wouldn't get changed for PE in front of anyone in case i got stared at. Swimming lessons at school, I'd get changed in a toilet cubicle. I've been threatened with physical violence and that would be easy because I would quote 'snap in half'.

I've also had someone put a picture of ME as their background on their phone for 'thinspo'.

So yeah, body shaming for slim people does exist. It stinks of jealousy. Just leave us alone.

So whoever says no one body shames thin people, @THisbackwithavengeance, you specifically, you can get fucked. If you want to be this weight, do something about it. But don't you dare take away peoples experiences with being slim or underweight.

You look fantastic

Poppybob · 24/12/2023 15:12

@UCantParkThereSir you look great 😁. It's such a shame that you got horrible comments.

Tessisme · 24/12/2023 15:14

You look absolutely wonderful @UCantParkThereSir. It's crap that you've had so many negative comments over the years. What the hell is wrong with people?

ChangeUsername123 · 24/12/2023 15:15

UCantParkThereSir · 24/12/2023 12:13

This is a picture of me going out for dinner and drinks with friends.
On this night i received 4 unsolicited comments from strangers on my weight. Every single 'comment' was from someone fat or obese. At the bar i was berated for ordering diet lemonade with my vodka.
I've been told to eat more burgers, that i have no meat on my bones. I have also eaten my school packed lunch in the toilets as i got stares as a child in school (i was a lot smaller in school.)

For anyone saying no one body shames a thin person is absolutely so wrong and has no right to gaslight and minimise what people like me go through. I've never in my life been body shamed by someone a healthy weight or size, ever.

What people don't realise, is that I've always struggled to put on weight. I was told my pregnant bump wasn't a 'proper bump' and that my baby wouldn't thrive if I don't 'put a bit of meat on my bones' by people. I had relentless bullying during PE at school and wouldn't get changed for PE in front of anyone in case i got stared at. Swimming lessons at school, I'd get changed in a toilet cubicle. I've been threatened with physical violence and that would be easy because I would quote 'snap in half'.

I've also had someone put a picture of ME as their background on their phone for 'thinspo'.

So yeah, body shaming for slim people does exist. It stinks of jealousy. Just leave us alone.

So whoever says no one body shames thin people, @THisbackwithavengeance, you specifically, you can get fucked. If you want to be this weight, do something about it. But don't you dare take away peoples experiences with being slim or underweight.

What people don't realise, is that I've always struggled to put on weight.

If you want to be this weight, do something about it.

As I’ve said throughout this thread I don’t believe it’s right for anyone to be body shamed and I absolutely accept that what you’ve been through is vile. Full stop.

However these two comments struck me as being hypocritical and probably shows a lot of the difference between fat and thin shaming. People should (rightly) accept you struggle to gain weight (not that it’s any of their business of course) but then you chuck out that a fat person should do something about it like it’s easier for them than it is for you because they’re just greedy.

Poppybob · 24/12/2023 15:17

@THisbackwithavengeance you are an arsehole

MaidOfSteel · 24/12/2023 15:18

You're being equally judgmental about bigger people.

VolvoFan · 24/12/2023 15:26

I can't be arsed to RTFT, but I do believe it's because the larger ladies tend to be more social justice warriors and militant feminists. It all stems back to jealousy. While it's generally not good to be very small or very big, it's the very small people that get picked on because they're much less vocal. If a larger lady is picked on for her weight, she might just eat them. They are part of an organised minority, frankly.

PaperDoIIs · 24/12/2023 16:10

VolvoFan · 24/12/2023 15:26

I can't be arsed to RTFT, but I do believe it's because the larger ladies tend to be more social justice warriors and militant feminists. It all stems back to jealousy. While it's generally not good to be very small or very big, it's the very small people that get picked on because they're much less vocal. If a larger lady is picked on for her weight, she might just eat them. They are part of an organised minority, frankly.

ODFOD.

I don't eat people... I just sit on them.

TheCadoganArms · 24/12/2023 16:15

There is a young 20 something woman in my office who is really into her triathlons. She is a member of a club and trains hard, gym at lunch times, down the pool or out on the bike/jogging in the evenings. She brings her own healthy lunch in, does not drink much and generally cracks on with her life. She is perfectly polite, professional and I think she looks amazing. Thr amount of shitty behind her back comments she gets is staggering. Apparently she is smug, showing off, it's just performative, only doing it to catch the eye of management and therefore promotion. Its just depressing, young perfectly pleasant woman who is into sports is just ripped to shreds......for what......being fit and healthy.

VolvoFan · 24/12/2023 16:15

PaperDoIIs · 24/12/2023 16:10

ODFOD.

I don't eat people... I just sit on them.

Show quote history

😂

UCantParkThereSir · 24/12/2023 16:22

@ChangeUsername123 well if it's down to greed they can do something about it.

moonlitwalks · 24/12/2023 16:26

TheCadoganArms · 24/12/2023 16:15

There is a young 20 something woman in my office who is really into her triathlons. She is a member of a club and trains hard, gym at lunch times, down the pool or out on the bike/jogging in the evenings. She brings her own healthy lunch in, does not drink much and generally cracks on with her life. She is perfectly polite, professional and I think she looks amazing. Thr amount of shitty behind her back comments she gets is staggering. Apparently she is smug, showing off, it's just performative, only doing it to catch the eye of management and therefore promotion. Its just depressing, young perfectly pleasant woman who is into sports is just ripped to shreds......for what......being fit and healthy.

Yeah this is jealousy without a doubt. I used to work with a similar woman and she got the same snarky remarks behind her back by people who were overweight, smoked, drunk like fishes and were generally very unhealthy. I could have understood it if she went on about it to others but she didnt- she just got on with her life and yet these people just couldn't bear the fact she was driven, healthy and fit. It was absolutely pathetic and says way more about them than her.