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Original poster

Why is it acceptable to openly body shame thin people?

241 replies

Indharma · 23/12/2023 20:31

I'm 5'8 and 9st 5lbs. Perfectly normal weight.

All my life, especially when I was younger and slimmer, people have felt far too comfortable commenting on and criticising my weight. "Ooh you're too skinny" "oh look, it's a skeleton" "don't you eat" "are you anorexic" etc etc.

I've noticed the people who do this are always fat and frequently on a diet. A friend of mine used to be obsessed with my weight, she'd comment on it, she'd speak to other friends behind my back about it. She was one of the greediest people I've ever met, she licked her plate clean for goodness sake. She'd tell me how unhealthy my eating was, yet I was normal weight and toned, she was overweight and on yet another cottage cheese crash diet. Hardly the picture of health.

The most recent was a teacher at DCs school acting shocked. Apparently I "looked so thin, like I'd lost weight" she looked like she'd put about 4 stone on but if I said that to her, I'd be a bitch. After three decades of this double standard, I'm absolutely sick of it. Why do they do it? Why is it seen as acceptable or important to anyone?

OP posts:
AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 21:24

@tkwal I overheard comments made about me when I was underweight. It happens to underweight people as well.

Icantbedoingwithit · 23/12/2023 21:27

Picklemeyellow · 23/12/2023 21:20

Had it all my life too.
It’s mainly been from other women, they seem to think they can say what they want to a slim woman because fat shaming is acknowledged but slim shaming not so much.
I wouldn’t dream on commenting on anyones figure, slim, overweight or other. Not quite sure why people think it’s ok to be so vocal to slimmer people.

Funny enough I have just realised a man has never commented on how thin I was… only women.

Itsbeginingtolookalotlikexmas · 23/12/2023 21:33

It completely unacceptable to criticise you for your natural shape, however, you don’t sound that kind about other body shapes either. Maybe you need to listen to your own advice.

Original poster
Indharma · 23/12/2023 21:35

Blushingm · 23/12/2023 20:48

But you are saying mean things about bigger people - that they're greedy etc

See, it's not nice is it. The wording was purposeful to prove my point.

OP posts:
ChangeUsername123 · 23/12/2023 21:42

It’s unacceptable to comment on anyone else’s body…even neutrally or positively in my opinion because it just reinforces all the stigma we’re trying to get away from. To comment negatively though is just awful. Regardless of being fat, thin or in between. It can cause long term issues and is bullying which is not on.

What I would say though, (without diminishing any thin person’s experience of this sort of thing), is that being bullied and being oppressed is not the same thing. Neither are good, but thin people are not being discriminated by society in the same way fat people are.

hermesparis · 23/12/2023 21:47

Been happening to me too since childhood! Relentlessly picked on for it and called skinny, anorexic, a stick insect, told to eat more burgers and cakes, used to have people picking me up in PE and grabbing my arms saying 'you're too skinny.' Asked what do I eat, do I only eat salad... no I eat like a normal person!

Icantbedoingwithit · 23/12/2023 21:47

ChangeUsername123 · 23/12/2023 21:42

It’s unacceptable to comment on anyone else’s body…even neutrally or positively in my opinion because it just reinforces all the stigma we’re trying to get away from. To comment negatively though is just awful. Regardless of being fat, thin or in between. It can cause long term issues and is bullying which is not on.

What I would say though, (without diminishing any thin person’s experience of this sort of thing), is that being bullied and being oppressed is not the same thing. Neither are good, but thin people are not being discriminated by society in the same way fat people are.

Even though I was constantly berated for being thin I do agree with this. I felt hurt and I found it incredibly unfair but I don’t think thin people get as vilified as much as fat people do.

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 21:49

but thin people are not being discriminated by society in the same way fat people are.

Yes it’s a bit like white privilege which many also deny!

Tessisme · 23/12/2023 21:54

DP has had loads of rude and disrespectful comments about his weight over the years, mostly from women. He's very slim, even now at 57. His wrists are thinner than mine and he is generally fine boned. I weigh more than he does and I'm a few inches shorter. He's extremely self conscious about his weight.

I also had a work colleague who frequently ended up in tears because of some of the comments about her weight. She was naturally slender. People referring to her as skinny and anorexic. Commenting on the fit of her clothes. Telling her with faux concern that she would end up falling into bad health if she didn't eat properly. Horrible. Just horrible.

Bernieee · 23/12/2023 22:02

Skinny shaming is wrong and uncalled for but let’s be honest fat shaming is way worse. For so long society and print media has put ‘thinness’ on a pedestal for the ideal beauty and may of us were fed harmful images and developed disordered eating and had cruel taunts if we didn’t fit the body size ideal.

So yes, skinny shaming is bad but no where as near as Fat shaming

Icantbedoingwithit · 23/12/2023 22:09

Bernieee · 23/12/2023 22:02

Skinny shaming is wrong and uncalled for but let’s be honest fat shaming is way worse. For so long society and print media has put ‘thinness’ on a pedestal for the ideal beauty and may of us were fed harmful images and developed disordered eating and had cruel taunts if we didn’t fit the body size ideal.

So yes, skinny shaming is bad but no where as near as Fat shaming

It hurts just the same if someone is shamed to their face for being too fat or too thin.
However, society, as a whole, is much nastier towards fat people than they are to people who are considered too thin.

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 22:09

Neither are good, but thin people are not being discriminated by society in the same way fat people are.

Are you talking about slim people who are a healthy weight or thin people who are underweight? I think people who are too thin do face discrimination.

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 22:15

People who are too thin are about 2% of the population, you would expect to hear less about what they face as there's only 2 of them for every 60 overweight or obese people.

lljkk · 23/12/2023 22:15

"I've never heard a thin person mention another persons weight. Ever. Not even in private."

Can you define the threshold for someone to be "thin" in this commenting context?
I have had people comment on my body size when those people were not what I thought of as even slightly overweight. I was not at all offended by such occasions, btw.

ChangeUsername123 · 23/12/2023 22:18

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 22:09

Neither are good, but thin people are not being discriminated by society in the same way fat people are.

Are you talking about slim people who are a healthy weight or thin people who are underweight? I think people who are too thin do face discrimination.

Both.

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 22:23

ChangeUsername123 · 23/12/2023 22:18

Both.

Show quote history

Well they are hardly the same thing. People who are too thin are certainly seen differently to people who are a healthy weight.

ChangeUsername123 · 23/12/2023 22:31

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 22:23

Well they are hardly the same thing. People who are too thin are certainly seen differently to people who are a healthy weight.

Show quote history

But they’re still not as affected or as oppressed by society as fat people. Obviously there is a spectrum for everything but it’s well documented that fat people are discriminated against, by medical professionals, employers, adoption agencies, IVF providers etc etc etc…

Cupcakekiller · 23/12/2023 22:32

Having been both fat and thin, I've had comments from both sides & you're treated far worse as a fat person in society. There's no comparison.

ChangeUsername123 · 23/12/2023 22:37

And like I said in my first post on this thread, none of what I say disregards what an individual person experiences and bullying or shaming a thin person is absolutely unacceptable.

RufustheFactualReindeer · 23/12/2023 22:40

Never been skinny shamed

and to be fair I don’t think ive ever really been fat shamed either

whichever way round its not a very nice thing to happen to anyone

updownleftrightstart · 23/12/2023 22:41

@ChangeUsername123 Medical professionals, adoption agencies and IVF providers all discriminate against thin people too.

@Cupcakekiller how thin were you can I ask? Because I have one friend with BMI 16 and one with BMI 50. People regularly start conversations out of nowhere about how friend 1 is too thin and needs to put weight on. No one has ever mentioned friend 2s weight to me

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 22:42

ChangeUsername123 · 23/12/2023 22:31

But they’re still not as affected or as oppressed by society as fat people. Obviously there is a spectrum for everything but it’s well documented that fat people are discriminated against, by medical professionals, employers, adoption agencies, IVF providers etc etc etc…

Show quote history

Only about 2% of adults in the UK are too thin. I would expect there to be a lot less documentation about what they face. I have experienced employment discrimination when underweight.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 23/12/2023 22:44

Yes! U was very slim when I was younger and used to get called 'Rex' at school. By boys and girls. I used to eat sausage roll and chips or mash for lunch everyday. When I got to about 18 I got some curves and have spent my life since putting on and losing weight. I've been doing slimming world since January and lost nearly 3 stone (currently 11st 1.5lbs and got 1st 1.5lbs left to lose). Everyone has said well done, you look great etc but I've had comments like you need to stop now, how can you have a stone left there'll be nothing left of you. There's honestly no malice in this but I do think people have lost sight of a healthy weight. I'm just overweight now. I've got 5.5 to get to the healthy weight and I definitely have fat on my stomach and thighs. I'm also fed up of sm slagging off skinny women but thinking obese is healthy and something to show off about (snag tights- looking at you)

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 23/12/2023 22:46

Sorry I was very slim I meant

AvengedQuince · 23/12/2023 22:48

Cupcakekiller · 23/12/2023 22:32

Having been both fat and thin, I've had comments from both sides & you're treated far worse as a fat person in society. There's no comparison.

I haven't been overweight but I've been at the top of the healthy range, and certainly too fat for my build. I only experienced negative comments when I was too thin.