Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

@InAMess2023

Migraineur here. There you go, you've now heard it twice from two Migraineurs.

HTH.

Why OP's colleagues feel resentful is not OP's problem, it's her manager's, who I am glad to read has sorted it.

Migraineur is a real word found in dictionaries and commonly used in clinical literature.

You have some nerve accusing me of being on a high horse, given that you're the one doing the language policing.

I take no enjoyment from highlighting the predictability of disablist arguments, any more than Relationships regulars take pleasure from highlighting a cheater's adherence to The Script. Resignation is a more accurate assessment of how I feel about the bingo squares.

Can you point me to where I said it was OP's problem?

Also, I'm aware that it's a real word (can we add condescending and patronising to the bingo card of your attitude issues?). Also to add I work in mental health and as a Trust we refer to people with autism, or autistic people, as that's how the overwhelming majority of people wanted to be addressed.

Because somebody is asking questions, since the original post didn't clarify various things, does not make them disablist (as others have already pointed out to you). Quick newsflash... no one is forcing you to play your bingo game, so you don't need to be resigned to it.

Well done OP. Let's hope he actually follows through. It's brave of you to return to this thread after all the disablist comments that have been made. Wishing you all the best.

The entire thread came about because the OP was worried about how her colleagues were behaving and what they thought of her. The OP was behaving as if this was her problem when it wasn't. You saying "I'm saying that depending on whether others in the team are expected to pick up additional work it may give some indication as to why they might feel resentful" is predicated on it being her problem to resolve. You, and everyone else who has been asking questions about where she goes during her sensory breaks and whether she makes up the time and whether her RAs mean more work for others etc etc were asking questions that don't matter because her colleagues' attitudes are not OP's problem to fix.

You have some nerve accusing me of being condescending and patronising when you told me to get off a high horse.

Whether I actually draw a bingo card or not is irrelevant to how I feel about seeing the same-old same-old attitudes spouted. The bingo squares comments are to illustrate just how predictable those attitudes are, in a similar vein to the Rules Of Misogyny, The Script, and any other documentation of predictable patterns of behaviour.

As for working in mental health, that doesn't make you any more of an authority than I am on how all autistic people want to be treated, in fact, far from it.

Oh and argumentative too I see...

I asked you to point on where I said it was the OP's problem? At the time the question was asked the OP hadn't clarified that it was only a temporary thing for 8 weeks, so more akin to a phased return to work than a reasonable adjustment. I think it's therefore perfectly legitimate for posters to ask if others workload was being impacted without being piled on for being 'disablist'.

You are on a high horse! The first rule of bingo is you can only mark the numbers off when they are actually drawn, not when you deliberately misinterpret what you hear (or in this case read) to suit your own Agenda. Others have also pointed out that they are perfectly entitled to ask questions so no need to just come for me.

Actually there was a drive amongst my Trust to find out how people wanted to be referred to and we use the terminology that was chosen. Our Trust covers the largest population in terms of mental health, so definitely not a small number of people.

As for linking that article, please don't ever come to NHS MH services asking for help if that's what you see as a true reflection. I won't be replying any further as you've shown your nasty true colours with the implication of sharing that link as a reply to me working in the NHS.

God I wish there was an ignore button eye roll

It’s great you’ve come back with an update and I’m sorry if some here have upset you with their comments.

You could’ve mentioned a few of your points you made now in your original posts because naturally posters here have no idea of your working life and what you do and that does affect in some way the replies you’ve got.

You’ve got a good boss there though and he sounds supportive which is the most important thing for you and your work.

Glad to hear you have a supportive manager OP. I hope you feel settled back at work soon

My own experience with mental health staff in the NHS, and friends' experiences of NHS and Irish mental health care, has been less than stellar. Bullying by nurses in the eating disorder ward, the patronising "how are we today?", coercive medication, and having sexual assault by other patients shrugged off.

It's not "nasty true colours" to highlight that the staff don't always have the patients' best interests at heart.

Yup... just as I thought

Apparently I'm not allowed to express on behalf of the majority of our service users what terminology they wish us to use but you're able to generalise that every single NHS worker you've come into contact with (hmmm) is some sort of evil abuser with a personality disorder.

You've jumped on people repeatedly on this thread just for asking simple questions which were in no way disablist, but really you've just been champing at the bit since then to do some sort of dramatic 'me-rail' since your pathetic little bingo game wasn't giving you the attention you so desperately were craving.

Now I WON'T be replying any further as I have better things to do.

but you're able to generalise that every single NHS worker you've come into contact with (hmmm) is some sort of evil abuser with a personality disorder.

Where did I say "every single" or "all" or any other synonym for that? I posted that link solely to demonstrate that mental health staff don't always act in the best interests of their patients (and the term "service user" can go in the bin as it implies that we have a choice about needing to seek healthcare), as a reposte to your appeal to authority fallacy. Yes, your NHS trust canvassed autistic people for their views. Do you think that I can't research myself? That I don't spend time on autism forums and read what other autistic people have to say? You have no more claim to authority on the matter of terminology than I do.

really you've just been champing at the bit since then to do some sort of dramatic 'me-rail' since your pathetic little bingo game wasn't giving you the attention you so desperately were craving.

That says far more about you than it does about me.

Well done OP

Fantastic news Op, I have been rooting for you whilst wading through posts, I’ve found them exhausting! Thank you for the update, I’ve certainly thought about you in the last couple of days.

I hope you get to your end result and it sounds like you have the support from the management team, ignore what anyone else thinks as this is your career and you seem to be doing really well!

I agree with this post

I have read the whole thread, and I think that the overall part that has still not been taken account of is the original question of whether her colleagues would be resentful.
people are allowed to feel resentful regardless of what is right or wrong according to laws. I have many staff on phased rtw and people are resentful. They are working their socks off and to know that people are having extra measures put in (rightfully) will not stop that. Whenever there is a disparity there will be resentment- that is human nature. The issue is that that is being relayed to the OP, which is wrong but human nature means it will happen regardless of management involvement. Perhaps it would be different in an office or WFH environment , but anything hands on where people don’t pull their weight is an issue, however much you protect other staff. If there is staff shortages then another person doing a phased rtw does have a huge impact. People having extended breaks has a huge impact. So yes- other staff will feel resentful - not to that individual but to their increased workload- which will then obviously be realised as that their workload has increased as that individual isn’t doing their ‘part’ as it were. I do not agree with it, but I understand it. There are many jobs where there are not suitable changes that can be put in place that does not hugely disrupt the workplace. In my job- if someone had to have an unplanned break for an unknown period of time - that would be untenable, and be dangerous. It is all dependent on job role and to be blunt- if someone was working less hours but taking home the same pay- yeah- I wouldn’t take that. At what point does it become unfair to people who do put the hours in?

the overall part that has still not been taken account of is the original question of whether her colleagues would be resentful

The OP asked whether we would be resentful of her if we were her colleagues. This is what is sometimes referred to as "asking the wrong question". The more useful question is "how do I get my colleagues to stop being nasty to me about something that is my legal right to have?" The answer to the OP's original question doesn't actually help the OP and so is irrelevant.

I understand why OP asked that because I asked similar questions "is it me? am I in the wrong? is he being unreasonable or not?" of less-distrusted-than-most-people people-that-I-talk-to-sometimes-and-don't-avoid (Allies? Not-enemies? There is a semantic gap for the concept I am trying to describe.) when I was bullied recently at work about my autism. That's how I know that OP was asking "the wrong question" and is why my second post on this thread was to concur with @LauderSyme 's post that contained the suggestion "you should report your snide and unsupportive colleagues to your manager or HR, because they are being discriminatory and horrid".

Luckily, OP has informed her manager, which is the answer to the more useful question.

A brilliant post

Perhaps now read the stuatutory guidance posted earlier to understand the legislation which exists to prevent disabled people from facing substantial disadvantages in the workplace? These are civil rights designed to ensure disabled people are included in all aspects of social life and are able to live independent and fufilling lives like everyone else.

Only a minority of autistic people are able to work, and only a
small percentage are able to work full time. Employees who do not face
these very substantial barriers to employment should frankly count
their blessings and look to management to resolve any practical
challenges.

@Hotsausage2 this has been addressed by myself and several others. 'Resentment' is understandable but really the only thing people should be concerned about is the impact on themselves. And as OP's manager has stated that's a management issue to solve!

If everything is fine, yet people are just pissed off solely because 'less work for same pay' well that's just ableist. Not only is it none of their business there's always variations in output! The highest and 'lowest' performers usually get the same pay anyway.

For all you know. Despite the breaks OP's output might be the same, or more than the others who work the 'full hours'. If I were her colleague I'd be focusing more on my OWN output not worrying about things that don't impact me.

Actually, I don't understand the resentment.

My thoughts, when colleagues have adjustments made, is 'thank goodness I work for an employer who will support me if I go through difficulties that affect my performance at work' and 'hopefully X is feeling better soon, and able to be back at full strength'.

If X's adjustments affect my work negatively, I raise it with my manager and expect them to come up with a solution. that doesn't disadvantage me. If they didn't, any resentment would be with my manager for not supporting me adequately.

The only other situation I can see where I would feel resentful is if I needed RA and didn't get them, but others did. That would be a management decision, and any resentment would be towards them, not X.

Depends whether you have colleagues that spot a loophole and immediately take the piss like I have got. I’ve had a colleague that has been off with ‘stomach pain’ since August. Doctors can find nothing wrong with her but occ health keep agreeing to her being signed off until they do because quite frankly she’s a fucking actress.

We pick up her work and extra calls because she’s not there. So yeah. I am pissed off and resentful.

You must know a lot about your colleagues health if you can say for certain she's faking.

@Lackoffunding you don't work in mental health by any chance do you 😂 your username struck a chord with me (an ASD human who has minimal reasonable adjustments and doesn't expect the whole world to pander to me)