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Oh my god, what do I do.....wallet opened by sibling hoke for Christmas - money card stolen

227 replies

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:28

I have a sibling home for Christmas.

Who went out to see his friends and he got drunk. I don't know what time of the night he came home at. He is still not gone to bed.

That's not the problem. I had my wallet on the kitchen table. I didn't anticate him to steal from it. I woke this morning to find the wallet open. My bank card gone. I had some small amount of cash in it too but not a lot. It was about 60 euro. I could write off the cash notes. The card - no way.

I asked him if he saw my card but he said no and he's still too drunk.

I encouraged him to go to bed.

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I had my card just yesterday. I didn't leave my home all weekend because I was sick. I did online shopping. I had my wallet in my lap. I was in the sitting room. I put the card back into my wallet.

Card from wallet gone now.

It's Monday and a week before Christmas.

Do I wait for him to sober up and search for the card later on tonight?

Or do I get onto the bank.

I have a spare account and card with revolut.
Will I top up my account with an estimate of what I need this week and contact my bank in the hope of getting a new card.

It's very fucking mindless. Getting drunk and stealing from my wallet.

He's not like this when he's sober.

OP posts:
Anisette · 19/12/2023 09:37

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 18:25

I don't think it was for a cab. I got up earlier in the night and he was home and I didn't see a mess with my purse at that stage. I think he was home for a while before he went to snoop in my wallet. It wasn't just money in my wallet. I had a box of money was well that i put cash into for the payment of bills. That money is gone too.

So it's quite a lot of money that he's taken, including money specifically set aside by you to pay your bills. If you're not going to ask for it back, how are you proposing to pay those bills?

Crumpleton · 19/12/2023 11:02

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:23

LOL,

Yes that's likely what my mother will be doing.

Gosh.... I pity any poor person that your DB shacks up with in future.

Hopefully you and your DM will inform them on your first meeting that if they can't be arsed to be at DB beck and call and bow down to his every wim they shouldn't bother getting involved.

caringcarer · 19/12/2023 17:53

Which country are you in OP. My school friend had some Irish cousins who behaved like this when they drank too much. Their mother would cook them a full breakfast and make them strong tea the next day. She told me they would sit about all day while her Aunt, their mother run around waiting on them hand and foot. She said her Aunt treated them like precious babies. I'm just wondering where you are?

ElevenSeven · 19/12/2023 18:33

caringcarer · 19/12/2023 17:53

Which country are you in OP. My school friend had some Irish cousins who behaved like this when they drank too much. Their mother would cook them a full breakfast and make them strong tea the next day. She told me they would sit about all day while her Aunt, their mother run around waiting on them hand and foot. She said her Aunt treated them like precious babies. I'm just wondering where you are?

I would also have guessed Ireland, sounds like my distant in-laws

CantFindMyMarbles · 19/12/2023 18:53

Can’t stand a thief and wouldn’t tolerate the invasion of privacy. He’s not a decent person when he’s sober….even when drunk decent people don’t do this. Grow a backbone and tell him to sort it out now

Bellatrixxx · 19/12/2023 19:07

This post is well odd!!! Title - omg money card stolen…oh wait just money well that’s absolutely cool, let him have a good sleep I can accept that.
Hopefully all the MN replies kept you sane through the bizarre meltdown/180. Peculiar.

NorthCountryGirl83 · 19/12/2023 19:09

What a load of complete rubbish. OP, either you have made this whole thing up (and not very successfully either given it makes zero sense) or you are one of the wettest blankets I've come across and seriously need to grow a backbone.

Yeetpetite · 19/12/2023 19:31

Does he do coke as he may have used the notes and cards to do them after he got in? Seen others get smashed and mindlessly pull stuff out of their wallets to cut up and sniff drugs. I’d check for white powder around your kitchen side boards and on your cards. I also wouldn’t let thieving of money slip no matter how much the amount, doesn’t matter how drunk I am I do not steal things, especially from family.

PUGMEISTER21 · 19/12/2023 20:16

Well if he has used the card on his night out it will show the transactions he has made and where. They will probably marry up with where he has been.

Amabitnewhere · 19/12/2023 20:55

Hope you find your card but could be that he got back with someone else and they took it?

anon666 · 19/12/2023 22:58

Glad it turned up - it's a horrible thing to happen, and even worse at this time of year when your replacement card wouldn't have arrived till after new year

For future reference, I think the bank can put a temporary hold on your card while you look for it - then you can reactivate it.

Hope things improve. Xxx

muggart · 19/12/2023 23:19

Has he said anything about the money OP?

whynotwhatknot · 20/12/2023 00:17

youre just making this up now surely-oh hes taken more money but not to worry

Ramalangadingdong · 20/12/2023 00:29

Do people still put money in tins to pay bills?

OhcantthInkofaname · 20/12/2023 01:25

He is not a good person.

WhatTheFuk · 20/12/2023 05:10

Boys will be boys ... eh?

LalaPaloosa · 20/12/2023 06:24

The man is drunk. I'm not going to challenge him now or even later when he's hungover. I encouraged him to go to bed. The hangover that he will wake with is going to be a pure curse for him.

It's disappointing but it's only a small amount at the end of the day. I will know in future not to leave my wallet around so that it doesn't happen again.

How is it OK for him to come home this drunk to your house? It’s incredibly disrespectful. Why are you tolerating this? Secondly, the fact he has even opened your wallet is unacceptable. Why are you dismissing the theft of your money like it’s not extremely relevant and important? He can’t steal from you. As others have said, you really need to work on your boundaries. Someone staying in your home as a guest should behave decently. I would ask him to leave and suggest he stays elsewhere because he has stolen from you. Being drunk isn’t an excuse, it is just more bad, disrespectful behaviour.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 20/12/2023 06:28

I’m now just reading this thread waiting for the part where Tom Hardy comes riding in on a unicorn and saves the day by demanding the money back - but like the OP I have an active imagination.

Nanaof1 · 20/12/2023 07:19

Anisette · 19/12/2023 09:37

So it's quite a lot of money that he's taken, including money specifically set aside by you to pay your bills. If you're not going to ask for it back, how are you proposing to pay those bills?

This story has grown taller than Jack's beanstalk.

OP--"Brother took money and my card right out of my wallet!! What do I do?"
MN--"Wake him up and ask."
OP--"He's drunk and don't want to ruin his night".
OP--"Found my card in my wallet"
MN--"He still stole money from you"
OP--"I don't care about the money".
OP--"He also took the money I had set aside in a money box for bills"
MN--"You need to get that money back"
OP--"I don't want to listen to any of you. He ain't heavy. He's my brother"
MN--"And a thief"
OP--"More excuses....."

OP--why did you even post since all you've done is excuse your brother's behavior and thievery, after castigating him for his stealing....

Me--I can't keep up with all the explanations, new info and different excuses.

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/12/2023 07:42

Ramalangadingdong · 20/12/2023 00:29

Do people still put money in tins to pay bills?

Especially someone who has access to mobile banking which the OP has. What kind of bills can you even pay by cash these days?

custardlover · 20/12/2023 07:55

Nonsense.

Macmoominmamma · 20/12/2023 10:03

Check your bank account, identify if / where it’s been used before accusing him.

bringbacksideburns · 20/12/2023 10:16

This is bonkers. Ask him for the money back and tell him never to go through your stuff again. You don’t have to have a blazing row. Be clear and calm.

Tbh I think I’d lock all my stuff away now and advise your mother to do the same.
Sounds like he’s going to spend a lot of time drunk.

Redragtoabull · 20/12/2023 19:25

Needed the card to cut up a few lines, hence why is absolutely hammered but not asleep ... ?

Cherrysoup · 20/12/2023 20:08

Stop enabling him, take back your money, don’t be a doormat.

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