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Original poster

Oh my god, what do I do.....wallet opened by sibling hoke for Christmas - money card stolen

227 replies

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:28

I have a sibling home for Christmas.

Who went out to see his friends and he got drunk. I don't know what time of the night he came home at. He is still not gone to bed.

That's not the problem. I had my wallet on the kitchen table. I didn't anticate him to steal from it. I woke this morning to find the wallet open. My bank card gone. I had some small amount of cash in it too but not a lot. It was about 60 euro. I could write off the cash notes. The card - no way.

I asked him if he saw my card but he said no and he's still too drunk.

I encouraged him to go to bed.

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I had my card just yesterday. I didn't leave my home all weekend because I was sick. I did online shopping. I had my wallet in my lap. I was in the sitting room. I put the card back into my wallet.

Card from wallet gone now.

It's Monday and a week before Christmas.

Do I wait for him to sober up and search for the card later on tonight?

Or do I get onto the bank.

I have a spare account and card with revolut.
Will I top up my account with an estimate of what I need this week and contact my bank in the hope of getting a new card.

It's very fucking mindless. Getting drunk and stealing from my wallet.

He's not like this when he's sober.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:49

Mamette · 18/12/2023 06:46

It doesn’t matter where it is, what matters is that you don’t have it. Freeze it now. Deal with the accusations and recriminations later.

Show quote history

I have my card now. It was amongst other receipts in my wallet and not sitting in its usual place within my wallet.

OP posts:
Maireas · 18/12/2023 06:52

How big is the wallet?
Surely you would have emptied it out in the first place?.
I would suggest that you keep it in your bedroom rather than the kitchen table.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 18/12/2023 06:53

So will you challenge him about his theft and dreadful behaviour? Has your mother conditioned you to let him away with similar behaviour in the past?

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:54

EmptyYoghurtPot · 18/12/2023 06:48

I’m confused - do you have the card now?

Show quote history

Yes I found it.

So I have my wallet organised into 4 different sections

  • coins
  • cash
  • cards
  • receipts

I went to look for some important receipts in my wallet considering there were some on the floor this morning. There was my card sitting between some receipts. Just not in the usual place in my wallet.

At first look this morning the wallet was open, the card and cash were gone.

Then a while later looked for some receipts and it was between paper receipts.

OP posts:
booktokbear · 18/12/2023 06:55

How old is he op?

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:57

Maireas · 18/12/2023 06:52

How big is the wallet?
Surely you would have emptied it out in the first place?.
I would suggest that you keep it in your bedroom rather than the kitchen table.

I never anticipated him to do this but I now know for the rest of the Christmas not to leave my wallet about the place.

OP posts:
EmptyYoghurtPot · 18/12/2023 06:58

So he came home drunk, needed to pay taxi, messed up your wallet, took your money and paid taxi and went to bed maybe? I’d wait to see what he says when he’s sober.

MadeOfAllWork · 18/12/2023 06:58

This seems an awful lot of drama.

So you have the card back now but the cash has gone? You either wake him up and ask him what the fuck or you wait until he wakes up. Either way he would not be spending Christmas in my house if he’s going to steal money from me. He can get to fuck.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/12/2023 06:59

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I'd be waking him up immediately, sober or otherwise, emptying his pockets and if he refuses then call the police. If he was innocent he would happily do it and have nothing to hide. All you have done is given him time to hide the evidence now. Unless by some miracle he had company round you're unaware of. Though the only difference is I'd then send police to both.

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:00

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 18/12/2023 06:53

So will you challenge him about his theft and dreadful behaviour? Has your mother conditioned you to let him away with similar behaviour in the past?

The man is drunk. I'm not going to challenge him now or even later when he's hungover. I encouraged him to go to bed. The hangover that he will wake with is going to be a pure curse for him.

It's disappointing but it's only a small amount at the end of the day. I will know in future not to leave my wallet around so that it doesn't happen again.

OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/12/2023 07:00

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/12/2023 06:59

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I'd be waking him up immediately, sober or otherwise, emptying his pockets and if he refuses then call the police. If he was innocent he would happily do it and have nothing to hide. All you have done is given him time to hide the evidence now. Unless by some miracle he had company round you're unaware of. Though the only difference is I'd then send police to both.

I apologise, I somehow flipped the thread and missed that it has now been found.

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:02

EmptyYoghurtPot · 18/12/2023 06:58

So he came home drunk, needed to pay taxi, messed up your wallet, took your money and paid taxi and went to bed maybe? I’d wait to see what he says when he’s sober.

I haven't a clue what happened over night.

OP posts:
VioletPickles · 18/12/2023 07:02

Also, cigarette butts on the floor in the kitchen? Get the messy bigger to clean up. That’s awful.

scoobysnaxx · 18/12/2023 07:02

So you're okay with him stealing cash from your wallet and not going to challenge him?

You're mad. That's wrong.

StarSparkleShine · 18/12/2023 07:03

Who would come onto Mumsnet to complain about their lost card and money without looking for it?
I realise that sometimes you don’t see things in plain sight
But you would go and look for it, if you suspected your drunk brother had it in his room.or at least cancel it straight away

But it is fun to drip feed, and create a post I guess.
It happens every day.

AndThatWasNY · 18/12/2023 07:10

Are you scared of him? If this was my brother (or anyone else) he would be out.

Zonder · 18/12/2023 07:10

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:00

The man is drunk. I'm not going to challenge him now or even later when he's hungover. I encouraged him to go to bed. The hangover that he will wake with is going to be a pure curse for him.

It's disappointing but it's only a small amount at the end of the day. I will know in future not to leave my wallet around so that it doesn't happen again.

Show quote history

It will happen again. Perhaps not to you if you hide your wallet and all your valuables but it will happen to your mum or other people. He needs to be challenged on this.

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:11

StarSparkleShine · 18/12/2023 07:03

Who would come onto Mumsnet to complain about their lost card and money without looking for it?
I realise that sometimes you don’t see things in plain sight
But you would go and look for it, if you suspected your drunk brother had it in his room.or at least cancel it straight away

But it is fun to drip feed, and create a post I guess.
It happens every day.

I did look for my card. I looked for in mainly in his chair in the sitting room and surrounding areas. I wasn't going to pay search him down. I was encouraging him to take off his jacket.

The thing I saw this morning was my wallet open and some paper receipts on the floor. I looked in my open wallet and there was cash gone and my card wasn't there.

I went to search for it in the areas he was in and even checked the bins.

Seeing my card gone and not being able to find it and I even asked him too, I decided to post here to see what I should do. I thought he had my card. Do I wait til later when he's passed out and check his pockets or get onto my bank in the hope of getting anew card before Christmas.

Then a while later I went to search for some important receipts that weren't first thing on my mind and then the card appeared amongst those.

He definitely had a mighty good rummage around in my person.

OP posts:
ElevenSeven · 18/12/2023 07:11

Not just his mother who allows him to act like a baby then…

TodayInahurry · 18/12/2023 07:12

Why do you have to have this pointless person in your home?

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:15

scoobysnaxx · 18/12/2023 07:02

So you're okay with him stealing cash from your wallet and not going to challenge him?

You're mad. That's wrong.

No I am not ok with him opening my wallet and taking cash. It's disappointing but I am not going to challenge him on it. It's just a small amount and I can right it off. It's a lesson learned not to leave my wallet lying around. I'm not going to create hell over this. Especially right now when he's not long gone to bed. Also I am sick and I want to get better.

He would never do this when he's sober. Never. This is completely drunk him.

I am not afraid of him and he does have a gentle soul when he's sober. He just gets a little silly when he's drunk.

OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/12/2023 07:16

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:00

The man is drunk. I'm not going to challenge him now or even later when he's hungover. I encouraged him to go to bed. The hangover that he will wake with is going to be a pure curse for him.

It's disappointing but it's only a small amount at the end of the day. I will know in future not to leave my wallet around so that it doesn't happen again.

Show quote history

Why bother asking for advice on a forum if you:

A. Don't want it
B. Don't bother even looking for your misplaced belongings
C. Won't bother speaking to the person you believe is at fault

Exactly what did you intend to achieve?

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:16

TodayInahurry · 18/12/2023 07:12

Why do you have to have this pointless person in your home?

He's not really pointless. He's a good person when he's sober.

OP posts:
ElevenSeven · 18/12/2023 07:17

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:15

No I am not ok with him opening my wallet and taking cash. It's disappointing but I am not going to challenge him on it. It's just a small amount and I can right it off. It's a lesson learned not to leave my wallet lying around. I'm not going to create hell over this. Especially right now when he's not long gone to bed. Also I am sick and I want to get better.

He would never do this when he's sober. Never. This is completely drunk him.

I am not afraid of him and he does have a gentle soul when he's sober. He just gets a little silly when he's drunk.

Show quote history

Awww, is he just a little scallywag who can’t help himself when he’s drunk, but he’s a lovely, lovely lad really? It’ll be his alco friends fault really.

Bless him.

wtf.

redleaves75 · 18/12/2023 07:17

What do you mean when you say it is 'mindless'?