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Original poster

Oh my god, what do I do.....wallet opened by sibling hoke for Christmas - money card stolen

227 replies

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:28

I have a sibling home for Christmas.

Who went out to see his friends and he got drunk. I don't know what time of the night he came home at. He is still not gone to bed.

That's not the problem. I had my wallet on the kitchen table. I didn't anticate him to steal from it. I woke this morning to find the wallet open. My bank card gone. I had some small amount of cash in it too but not a lot. It was about 60 euro. I could write off the cash notes. The card - no way.

I asked him if he saw my card but he said no and he's still too drunk.

I encouraged him to go to bed.

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I had my card just yesterday. I didn't leave my home all weekend because I was sick. I did online shopping. I had my wallet in my lap. I was in the sitting room. I put the card back into my wallet.

Card from wallet gone now.

It's Monday and a week before Christmas.

Do I wait for him to sober up and search for the card later on tonight?

Or do I get onto the bank.

I have a spare account and card with revolut.
Will I top up my account with an estimate of what I need this week and contact my bank in the hope of getting a new card.

It's very fucking mindless. Getting drunk and stealing from my wallet.

He's not like this when he's sober.

OP posts:
Nineteendays · 18/12/2023 07:55

If he’s such a lovely gentle soul when sober then why wouldn’t you mention that €60 has gone from your wallet overnight?

Bogeyes · 18/12/2023 07:56

OnAir · 18/12/2023 06:31

He's a coke head

This

scoopoftheday · 18/12/2023 07:57

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:00

The man is drunk. I'm not going to challenge him now or even later when he's hungover. I encouraged him to go to bed. The hangover that he will wake with is going to be a pure curse for him.

It's disappointing but it's only a small amount at the end of the day. I will know in future not to leave my wallet around so that it doesn't happen again.

Show quote history

You're the problem.. so you won't leave your wallet lying around incase he's tempted to steal from it?

How about him learning not to bloody steal???

Poufpastry · 18/12/2023 07:57

FFS 🙄

vanillaredbushtea · 18/12/2023 08:01

You need a new card, he might have copied the details off of yours

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 18/12/2023 08:02

Itsnotallalark · 18/12/2023 07:50

Surely the most likely explanation is that he needed cash for a taxi driver waiting outside. If he’s just off a long haul flight he may not have had local currency on him. Who knows - he may even wake up later this morning full of apologies at going through your wallet.
If this isn’t the case and he doesn’t apologise I’m not sure why you wouldn’t bring it up with him. Hopefully a lot of drama over nothing, especially if it’s out of character.

This - saved me typing.

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 08:02

shivawn · 18/12/2023 07:53

Of course you're right to wait until he's sober to speak to him, don't know why anyone is pushing you to do otherwise in the middle of the night. You know your brother, they don't, so I'm glad you're ignoring that advice.

You're obviously not too bothered about losing €60 and that's okay but I would query it later today if I were you just to see what happened. As a previous poster suggested he might have been stuck for taxi money or something.

He went to bed fucked.
I am also fucked in a different way (sick).

We both need sleep right now.

Will chat to him later about it.

OP posts:
OnAir · 18/12/2023 08:03

He came home drunk and coked up had spent all his money was trying to get hold of some more gear and was going to use your card. Couldn't get any more gear so has finally given in before going to bed. No normal drunk person is still up knocking about the house at 6 am routing through wallets and smoking 100s of fags.

OnAir · 18/12/2023 08:05

My mistake he took the cash so more than likely managed to get more gear hence why he's still not asleep yet. I'd bring all this up when he eventually gets up this afternoon.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 08:05

i feel sorry for the mother

still has these two at home

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/12/2023 08:09

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Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 08:11

This reply has been deleted

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He was only home 24 hours then he went out with his old mates and got drunk.

He would still be in a jet lagged state.
That drinking on top of it wouldn't be great.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 08:12

He's fucked.
I'm fucked.
We both need sleep. Now is not the time and will talk to him later.

OP posts:
Milkybarsareonmeeeee · 18/12/2023 08:13

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:32

My mother has no boundaries and she likes to care for him as if he's a baby. What I could do is wait a few hours and send her into his room to check to see if she's asleep and take his jacket from the room. He won't know or remember where he left. He's too drunk. Then look in his pockets.

I needed my card. It's so fucking mindless.

My wallet was on the kitchen table last night. I woke this morning to find cigarette butts on the floors and then my receipts that were in the wallet strewn all over the floor and my bank card gone.

Eh no you go into the room in your house and you find it. Look through what you like . He has over stepped . Wouldn’t be putting up with this.
Why has your mum to do it. Sounds like your faffing around him too .

If it was me he would be sent packing .
Alod yes sounds like a Coke head.

Ejismyf · 18/12/2023 08:18

If he is still up is he the sort who may of used drugs and has taken your card to make the lines and the note to sniff it?

CommonOrNot · 18/12/2023 08:18

Not the biggest of deals (aside from the fact you can’t trust your sibling). Just freeze or block your card and use Apple Pay. Apple Pay is updated with your new card details the moment it is reissued (so before you actually receive the card)

muggart · 18/12/2023 08:19

I wouldn't wake him either. I'd wait to see if he comes clean when he's sober first.

I think when he wakes up he'll tell you he had to borrow some money for the taxi / dealer / whatever else and will pay you back.

This is the sort of thing my DB would have done in his coke days and, like you, I would have been too scared to challenge him because I wasn't good with confrontation. Actually, once he did do it and I wasn't even asleep but couldn't stop him - the dickhead just took it anyway. I only just remembered that thanks to this thread!

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 18/12/2023 08:21

People are jumping to some huge conclusions here - why could he not if just needed to pay his taxi and hopefully be full of apologies and pay back today? You must all know an awful lot if coke heads , to automatically think this. The only ones I know are my caseload clients. Young people do stupid things, like getting bladdered, on a christmas night out, with friends they don't see often, because they live/work away. Hopefully he will mature at some point.

loveinthe90s · 18/12/2023 08:38

Op how old are you and your sibling and why do you live with your mum?

And why name change for this weird parallel thread? Even the typo is the same (hoke for home). Weird.

Smokers smell in room www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4965260-smokers-smell-in-room

Dweetfidilove · 18/12/2023 08:41

He can use the card details later.

Has he stolen from you or family members before?

Why not just have the bank change the card for peace of mind?

lovescats3 · 18/12/2023 08:49

The cash hasn't vanished as you say he's stolen it - wake up

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2023 08:51

If he doesn't confess to interfering with your wallet at all I'd tell him I was calling the Police as you must have had an intruder. That might jog his memory.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 18/12/2023 08:52

I think it’s fine to wait until he sobers up to talk to him about it. But from some of your replies you talk about writing it off and that you’re the one to learn a lesson. I think that’s ridiculous. If he’s so reasonable and nice when sober then why wouldn’t you confront him? Nice reasonable people take responsibility for what they did when drunk.

Anisette · 18/12/2023 08:52

No I am not ok with him opening my wallet and taking cash. It's disappointing but I am not going to challenge him on it. It's just a small amount and I can right it off

I don't understand this. He invaded your privacy and he stole from you. Are you not at the very least going to let him know that it's totally not acceptable? Why should he not pay you back?

Anisette · 18/12/2023 08:54

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:27

He loses sense when he's drunk. Not the first time I saw him like that but the last time was years ago. It's just folly drunkness.

When's he's sober he is harmless and wouldn't hurt a fly.

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Thence he needs to learn not to get so drunk. Surely it's time he grew up and learnt to control himself?

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