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Original poster

Oh my god, what do I do.....wallet opened by sibling hoke for Christmas - money card stolen

227 replies

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:28

I have a sibling home for Christmas.

Who went out to see his friends and he got drunk. I don't know what time of the night he came home at. He is still not gone to bed.

That's not the problem. I had my wallet on the kitchen table. I didn't anticate him to steal from it. I woke this morning to find the wallet open. My bank card gone. I had some small amount of cash in it too but not a lot. It was about 60 euro. I could write off the cash notes. The card - no way.

I asked him if he saw my card but he said no and he's still too drunk.

I encouraged him to go to bed.

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I had my card just yesterday. I didn't leave my home all weekend because I was sick. I did online shopping. I had my wallet in my lap. I was in the sitting room. I put the card back into my wallet.

Card from wallet gone now.

It's Monday and a week before Christmas.

Do I wait for him to sober up and search for the card later on tonight?

Or do I get onto the bank.

I have a spare account and card with revolut.
Will I top up my account with an estimate of what I need this week and contact my bank in the hope of getting a new card.

It's very fucking mindless. Getting drunk and stealing from my wallet.

He's not like this when he's sober.

OP posts:
UneFoisAuChalet · 18/12/2023 12:12

euros or pounds OP?

kittensinthekitchen · 18/12/2023 12:24

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/12/2023 12:00

Given you continue to ignore age-related questions and won't even entertain waking him or asking him to leave, I'm going to assume for now that you both live with your mother. In which case you could bring it up with her. But since she allegedly treats him like her baby (though at this point, I'm wondering if she does this with you too) you won't. So if I'm barking up the right tree then I suggest you may leave and stay elsewhere.

Not sure what relevance the age has.... but the OP has already said that her brother lives a 'long haul' flight away and is coming to stay with her and her mother for Christmas. Not sure why - why that information - you would assume that means he lives with them Confused

Tonight1 · 18/12/2023 12:27

I found this thread very confusing! Actually it made me check my card wallet. Hope all sorted.

Balloonhearts · 18/12/2023 12:27

Don't be such a pushover! I'd hit the fucking roof.

Chuck a bucket of water over him to get him up and send him to the cash point to pay me back with a good earful for daring to steal from me to start with.

None of this letting him sleep it off bollocks, he'd be out the front door and told not to come back without cash to pay me back and he better be sober when he does.

Doseofreality · 18/12/2023 12:31

Pack his bag and kick the scummy thief out, utterly grim stealing from your sibling.

whynotwhatknot · 18/12/2023 12:37

its the fact you say so flippantly i can write it off-the principle is wrong he should at least explain if he needed it for a taxi

startquitting · 18/12/2023 13:12

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:22

I was looking for advice about how to get my back thinking he had. He was still awake and I did ask him did he see my card but his answer was no.

I wrote this thread to see how I could get my card back - do I wait til he's passed out in his room and check his pockets or get onto the bank straight away. It's bad timing to be losing a card.

Then the card showed up.

I am not going to challenge him further for rummaging through my wallet. It's a mindless drunken thing to do and there's no point getting worked up over it. I encouraged him to go to bed and rest. It's not very long home from a long haul flight and he still needs to rest and I am ill. Not one of us is able for a challenge.

At this stage it's a lesson learned not to leave my wallet lying around the home.

Show quote history

So what lesson did he learn?

Viviennemary · 18/12/2023 13:15

Stop the card. Check if there has been any purchases made on it. Tell your brother to leave if you think it was him who stole your money. Awful.

Seaweed42 · 18/12/2023 13:31

Could he have borrowed local currency with the full intention to pay you back?

If he's has never stolen from you or anyone else before, then there is no reason to believe that he has stolen from you.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 18/12/2023 13:39

EmptyYoghurtPot · 18/12/2023 06:58

So he came home drunk, needed to pay taxi, messed up your wallet, took your money and paid taxi and went to bed maybe? I’d wait to see what he says when he’s sober.

This is exactly what I would think. He had a drunken panic, snatched what he could, paid the taxi then put the change in his pocket and forgot about it.

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 13:40

Seaweed42 · 18/12/2023 13:31

Could he have borrowed local currency with the full intention to pay you back?

If he's has never stolen from you or anyone else before, then there is no reason to believe that he has stolen from you.

That could have happened. Or maybe his own card isn't working. I don't know.

I know when he was at home before a few years, he does get this level of drunk. So it wasn't the first time I saw him like that. He never took from me before although I know when he's drunk he can do some silly mindless crap without really thinking.

It was a shock because it was so long since I was faced with that level of drunk.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 13:42

He didn't really go to bed. He stayed up singing and muttering. I got up to go to work and encouraged him to go to bed. Then I realised I was just too I'll to even go to work myself and had to go back to bed myself.

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 18/12/2023 13:45

What an odd thread!

SoftandQuiet · 18/12/2023 13:46

Some of the responses in here are awful. I love my DB and even if he’d taken my cash (and not card after all) in a drunken fumble to pay the taxi, I wouldn’t be pouring cold water over him or yelling and frog marching him to the cash point to pay me back immediately.
Looks like not a big deal after all OP. Hope you have a relaxed day, he’s had a great catch-up with friends and will pay you back asap. Happy Christmas.

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 14:03

SoftandQuiet · 18/12/2023 13:46

Some of the responses in here are awful. I love my DB and even if he’d taken my cash (and not card after all) in a drunken fumble to pay the taxi, I wouldn’t be pouring cold water over him or yelling and frog marching him to the cash point to pay me back immediately.
Looks like not a big deal after all OP. Hope you have a relaxed day, he’s had a great catch-up with friends and will pay you back asap. Happy Christmas.

I don't think he was paying a taxi. I doubt it. When I found him in the early hours of the morning, he was drunk on the couch and with cash falling out from his pockets. I think he was an opportunistic in his drunken state. Maybe he considered my card in his drunken state but helped himself to cash instead. Look it, I don't know.

Like you, I am disappointed but I can't be mad at him right now. He's not even 48 hours home and I just can't be cruel at this point in time to him especially when he was drunk and he likely won't remember.

I'm just going to write off that cash ane be done with it and know in future not to leave it around the place.

He better sober up for the rest of the Christmas though for the rest of the Christmas because I won't be able to bail him out if he loses his phone or other belongings.

I wouldn't expect him to remain completely dry over Christmas but to manage his drink and limit it and know when to stop drinking too.

OP posts:
LIZS · 18/12/2023 14:08

He stepped off a long-haul flight and got drunk, and has done it before? He has an addiction problem that you and your dm are enabling.

FarmGirl78 · 18/12/2023 14:13

@PurpleBottle " he does have a gentle soul when he's sober. He just gets a little silly when he's drunk."

Stop excusing his behaviour and pull him up on it. Ask him for your £60 back and what the hell he thinks he playing at stealing from his own family. You are turning into your Mother.

Outwiththenorm · 18/12/2023 14:19

Oh god he sounds just like my ex but it was a long time ago and we were only 16! It was always like he was being filmed for a movie and I was just supporting actress. It gave me the major ick. I always imagined he’d grow out of the bullshit but maybe you’re dating him now?!

Pressthespacebar · 18/12/2023 14:21

60 quid is about the price of half a gram of coke, just saying.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 18/12/2023 14:21

Ask for your 60 euros back right now
You all seem to be tiptoeing round this idiot
You're in for a miserable Christmas if he drinks and this is the result
Personally if my DS did anything like this( he wouldn't) I'd tell him he wasn't wanted there
You're all going have to watch your wallets until he goes home
Ridiculous

rainbowstardrops · 18/12/2023 14:24

This is bonkers!

BusyMummyWrites · 18/12/2023 14:26

Are you sure he’s taken it - and not brought a couple of rando mates home from the pub and they took it all? If he’s that drunk/out of it, he may be unaware what’s happened?

Elderflower14 · 18/12/2023 14:31

If you let him get away with it... He will do it again!!!

Dontgivemeplants · 18/12/2023 14:32

This is like a play from Martin McDonagh

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2023 15:23

I can't believe you are doing nothing about this. You must be better off than me if you can just let €60 go without saying anything.