Oh my god, what do I do.....wallet opened by sibling hoke for Christmas - money card stolen

[PurpleBottle]

I have a sibling home for Christmas.

Who went out to see his friends and he got drunk. I don't know what time of the night he came home at. He is still not gone to bed.

That's not the problem. I had my wallet on the kitchen table. I didn't anticate him to steal from it. I woke this morning to find the wallet open. My bank card gone. I had some small amount of cash in it too but not a lot. It was about 60 euro. I could write off the cash notes. The card - no way.

I asked him if he saw my card but he said no and he's still too drunk.

I encouraged him to go to bed.

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I had my card just yesterday. I didn't leave my home all weekend because I was sick. I did online shopping. I had my wallet in my lap. I was in the sitting room. I put the card back into my wallet.

Card from wallet gone now.

It's Monday and a week before Christmas.

Do I wait for him to sober up and search for the card later on tonight?

Or do I get onto the bank.

I have a spare account and card with revolut.
Will I top up my account with an estimate of what I need this week and contact my bank in the hope of getting a new card.

It's very fucking mindless. Getting drunk and stealing from my wallet.

He's not like this when he's sober.

Wait until he’s passed out & recover anything remaining of your money from his jacket pocket. If it was taken after he got in, he won’t have spent it yet.

It sounds like this behaviour has been normalised in your family from your reaction. Understand, this is not normal and not acceptable.

This man has apparently just stolen €60 from you. That’s not a small amount.

I’d be going ballistic at him. Why do you and your mother both enable this behaviour?

Ignore the posters who think it’s their job to decide what’s worthy of a MN post. 🙄 It sounds like he couldn’t pay for his taxi and needed cash and perhaps thought the wallet was your mum’s. I’d wait until he’s sober and less likely to kick off to challenge him about taking the cash and also talk to your mum about enabling him. I wonder how much he’s nicked off her over the years.

This is weird

But the poor helpless lamb will have a nasty hangover this morning... how awful for him.
Op will you/dm be running around after him, making cups of tea, full fry up and serving him while he recovers on the sofa?

but he has your card
and he’s a thief
so… freeze your card 🤷‍♀️

it is, isn’t it

Making excuses for the binge drinking alcoholic sibling most likely .

Always someone else's fault?

That's called 'Enabling' the behaviour.

I was looking for advice about how to get my back thinking he had. He was still awake and I did ask him did he see my card but his answer was no.

I wrote this thread to see how I could get my card back - do I wait til he's passed out in his room and check his pockets or get onto the bank straight away. It's bad timing to be losing a card.

Then the card showed up.

I am not going to challenge him further for rummaging through my wallet. It's a mindless drunken thing to do and there's no point getting worked up over it. I encouraged him to go to bed and rest. It's not very long home from a long haul flight and he still needs to rest and I am ill. Not one of us is able for a challenge.

At this stage it's a lesson learned not to leave my wallet lying around the home.

OP, i don’t know how to ask this delicately

Are you quite a vulnerable person?

What on earth am I reading?? He’s your brother, he’s stole money from you and currently in bed sleeping off his hangover while you panic downstairs?

Christ OP, where’s your self respect? Get a jug of cold water and chuck it over him and tell him he’s stolen money from you and smoked in the house so he better get his arse downstairs to clean it up and to make an immediate bank transfer to replace the money he stole. Why are you being so passive?

She has found the card now. There's no point freezing it. I would get on to my mobile banking asap and find out if the card has been used though.

So he’s a thief but you’re gonna write it off because he paid a lot of money to come home?
he’s drunk and made a mess of the kitchen with cigarette butts and messing up your belongings but you’ll let it slide because he’s nice when he’s sober?

this is the most ridiculous relationship ever, no wonder he steals money if you and your mum ignore it.

LOL,

Yes that's likely what my mother will be doing.

He probably had to take cash to pay for a taxi and didn't want to wake you.

I wouldn't mind if my sibling took cash from my wallet in that kind of situation, it's not ideal but I'd rather not be woken and they'd know that.

Still stealing. And sounds like a pattern anyway

Doesn’t matter how drunk you are you know stealing cash is wrong. Can’t believe you’re willing to not mention it and let him get away with it. Actually that’s probably why he does it. He went into your purse and stole money- he’s a thief. And that is not a small amount either. You and your mum are enablers of his behaviour! Drunk or not you know stealing is wrong.

6.28am you start a thread about a missing card

6.42 you post that you now have the card

Nah, not really. Not if it's my sister or brother and for a good reason.

So your own home isn't safe to leave your belongings in? Do you have a lock for your bedroom door?

Or a culture where ‘the men’ go out drinking, and anything they do when drunk isn’t their fault, it’s ’the Drink’

do both you and your brother life at home with your mother?
how old are you both?

He loses sense when he's drunk. Not the first time I saw him like that but the last time was years ago. It's just folly drunkness.

When's he's sober he is harmless and wouldn't hurt a fly.

He's just off a long haul flight.

What is wrong with you ?

he took money from your wallet and you aren’t going to ask him to give it back?

I understand not calling the police, but you are massively under reacting.