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Original poster

Oh my god, what do I do.....wallet opened by sibling hoke for Christmas - money card stolen

227 replies

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 06:28

I have a sibling home for Christmas.

Who went out to see his friends and he got drunk. I don't know what time of the night he came home at. He is still not gone to bed.

That's not the problem. I had my wallet on the kitchen table. I didn't anticate him to steal from it. I woke this morning to find the wallet open. My bank card gone. I had some small amount of cash in it too but not a lot. It was about 60 euro. I could write off the cash notes. The card - no way.

I asked him if he saw my card but he said no and he's still too drunk.

I encouraged him to go to bed.

It might be a case where I will have to wait for him to sober up. And ask again. Wait til he leaves his room and check his pockets maybe.

I had my card just yesterday. I didn't leave my home all weekend because I was sick. I did online shopping. I had my wallet in my lap. I was in the sitting room. I put the card back into my wallet.

Card from wallet gone now.

It's Monday and a week before Christmas.

Do I wait for him to sober up and search for the card later on tonight?

Or do I get onto the bank.

I have a spare account and card with revolut.
Will I top up my account with an estimate of what I need this week and contact my bank in the hope of getting a new card.

It's very fucking mindless. Getting drunk and stealing from my wallet.

He's not like this when he's sober.

OP posts:
escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:28

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:27

He's just off a long haul flight.

Show quote history

how on earth does that answer my questions?

TerfTalking · 18/12/2023 07:28

What an absolutely ridiculous thread. Your sibling stole €60 from you, your mother infantilises him and you won’t do anything about it because he’s come home for Christmas and it’s good to see him.

What a mess, expect more of the same for the next few weeks.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:28

i ask if you both still live at home

i ask how old you both are

your answer; he’s just off a long haul flight

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:29

TerfTalking · 18/12/2023 07:28

What an absolutely ridiculous thread. Your sibling stole €60 from you, your mother infantilises him and you won’t do anything about it because he’s come home for Christmas and it’s good to see him.

What a mess, expect more of the same for the next few weeks.

the op started the thread at 6.28 about a missing card by 6.42 she’d posted that she’d found out

So i don’t think the OP’s view on her brother being a thief can really be totally trusted

jemenfous37 · 18/12/2023 07:31

Wow! You didn't jump to a conclusion, you sky-dived into an accusation.
Very judgemental about your siblings 'dirty alco' friend too

Bournetilly · 18/12/2023 07:32

I can’t believe you aren’t going to challenge him on this. He’s stolen from you. You shouldn’t need to hide your wallet from your siblings even if he is drunk, it’s disgusting he stole from you. You and your mum are enabling him!

crumblingschools · 18/12/2023 07:32

You shouldn’t have to hide your wallet in your own home, you should be able to trust your family. If he is such a nice person sober, he will pay you back once sober.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:35

everyone is missing the point that the op thought he’d nicked her card

16 mins after starting the thread… she realised he hadn’t

so i suspect the OP may also have got her 60 euros accusation also wrong

thefallen · 18/12/2023 07:37

"Why bother asking for advice on a forum if you:

A. Don't want it
B. Don't bother even looking for your misplaced belongings
C. Won't bother speaking to the person you believe is at fault

Exactly what did you intend to achieve?"

This - all he will learn is that he can do this again and there won't be any comeback. It's not just your mother who indulges him, is it? I think you need to give him a bollocking.

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:39

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:35

everyone is missing the point that the op thought he’d nicked her card

16 mins after starting the thread… she realised he hadn’t

so i suspect the OP may also have got her 60 euros accusation also wrong

My wallet was wide open with receipts on the ground and my bank card was not sitting in its card slot in my wallet. It was definitely removed from my wallet.

I am actually not sure how much money I actually had. I did have approx 60 euro in wallet. The cash has vanished now anyways.

OP posts:
Lilithlogic · 18/12/2023 07:39

Would you be as nonchalant if he had stolen of someone outside the family because he was drunk?

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:43

thefallen · 18/12/2023 07:37

"Why bother asking for advice on a forum if you:

A. Don't want it
B. Don't bother even looking for your misplaced belongings
C. Won't bother speaking to the person you believe is at fault

Exactly what did you intend to achieve?"

This - all he will learn is that he can do this again and there won't be any comeback. It's not just your mother who indulges him, is it? I think you need to give him a bollocking.

He's so utterly drunk when I saw him I really don't think he will be able to learn anything from this. He's just going to crash in the bed and likely forget things.

OP posts:
PollyPut · 18/12/2023 07:44

@PurpleBottle first thing you do is check your online bank account to see what the last transactions were

Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:44

My wallet was definitely tampered with overnight so it wasn't an accusation.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:45

PollyPut · 18/12/2023 07:44

@PurpleBottle first thing you do is check your online bank account to see what the last transactions were

I checked. There was no purchases made over night and the last purchases made were my own.

OP posts:
Blueblell · 18/12/2023 07:46

Did he use the card for a purpose other than to take money. He sounds like a nightmare house guest.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:47

how old are you?

do tou both still live at home with your mother?

Smugandproud · 18/12/2023 07:47

It’s your decision op but you do know that most people when drunk don’t steal.
Your siblings lack of sobriety doesn’t excuse him being a thief.
Youre very much giving the impression that the harmless lamb can’t help it. Perhaps it’s time he was treated like an adult who should know better.

mum11970 · 18/12/2023 07:48

ElevenSeven · 18/12/2023 07:24

Still stealing. And sounds like a pattern anyway

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I agree he’s probably used it to pay a taxi. I wouldn’t call it stealing unless they didn’t intend to pay it back but you may have to remind them that they cleaned you out, if they were that drunk they may not remember.
You’re either a fool or very rich if you don’t actually ask for it back.
Looking through your wallet properly would have been a good idea instead of jumping to such wild accusations.

Snowdogsmitten · 18/12/2023 07:49

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:00

The man is drunk. I'm not going to challenge him now or even later when he's hungover. I encouraged him to go to bed. The hangover that he will wake with is going to be a pure curse for him.

It's disappointing but it's only a small amount at the end of the day. I will know in future not to leave my wallet around so that it doesn't happen again.

Show quote history

Sixty euros is not a small amount.

Why on earth are you an d your mother both enabling this vile, disrespectful, alcoholic thief?!! He stole your money. He left fat butts all over the house.

WTF??

Whataretheodds · 18/12/2023 07:50

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:27

He loses sense when he's drunk. Not the first time I saw him like that but the last time was years ago. It's just folly drunkness.

When's he's sober he is harmless and wouldn't hurt a fly.

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When he's sober he chooses to drink knowing that he is a bad drunk.

It's the same person, not two people, and you don't get to pick the good one.

A good guy would give you back the €60 stolen from you while drunk.

Itsnotallalark · 18/12/2023 07:50

Surely the most likely explanation is that he needed cash for a taxi driver waiting outside. If he’s just off a long haul flight he may not have had local currency on him. Who knows - he may even wake up later this morning full of apologies at going through your wallet.
If this isn’t the case and he doesn’t apologise I’m not sure why you wouldn’t bring it up with him. Hopefully a lot of drama over nothing, especially if it’s out of character.

shivawn · 18/12/2023 07:53

Of course you're right to wait until he's sober to speak to him, don't know why anyone is pushing you to do otherwise in the middle of the night. You know your brother, they don't, so I'm glad you're ignoring that advice.

You're obviously not too bothered about losing €60 and that's okay but I would query it later today if I were you just to see what happened. As a previous poster suggested he might have been stuck for taxi money or something.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 18/12/2023 07:55

PurpleBottle · 18/12/2023 07:43

He's so utterly drunk when I saw him I really don't think he will be able to learn anything from this. He's just going to crash in the bed and likely forget things.

Show quote history

Convenient for him! 'It didn't happen because he doesn't remember'?

MadeOfAllWork · 18/12/2023 07:55

At this stage it's a lesson learned not to leave my wallet lying around the home.

Or you don’t have your piss head brother in your house.
Stop making excuses.
He’s a good lad really.
He’s just got off a long haul flight.
It was his bad friends who made him drink.

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