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Original poster

What very useful device would you like to invent that hasn't already been invented?

149 replies

TheTecknician · 08/12/2023 20:05

For me it would be the Teck Patented Table De-wobbling Wonder Ray Gun. To eradicate at the squeeze of a trigger those annoying moments in pubs, cafes and restaurants worldwide where the very table you've chosen, or had booked for you, just can't keep still. Think of all the napkins, drip mats and menus it would save!

OP posts:
clpsmum · 08/12/2023 20:07

Silent vibration free hair clippers for autistic son with major hair issues!

clpsmum · 08/12/2023 20:07

If they could also be invisible that would help massively too

FatFatMary · 08/12/2023 20:07

Little robots that clean me

halart45 · 08/12/2023 20:07

Something where I didn't need to get up for a wee at night time 🤣

NoCloudsAllowed · 08/12/2023 20:09

Bosom scanner and automated bra designer that 3D prints a personalized comfy bra.

Something that's like a Roomba but it flies like a blue tit around your house sucking up dust from any surface and depositing it in neat pellets for disposal.

FuckingHellAdele · 08/12/2023 20:14

A robot vacuum cleaner. For stairs.

I would pay menny, menny British pounds for a robovac for stairs.

bitofashit · 08/12/2023 20:23

Something powerful that sucks up all the dog hair effectively

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 08/12/2023 20:28

Some device that could look into my brain and create a to do list - but most important of all - put it in priority order for me.

Finish the task and move onto the next, no time wasted squirreling about trying to work out what needs done first and ending up with 8 unfinished tasks.

TigerRag · 08/12/2023 20:30

Something that cooks my food to perfection

ehb102 · 08/12/2023 20:30

A TSH test that is instant,.like a blood sugar test.

Spooce · 08/12/2023 20:30

A receipt card that you scan at shops and it keeps all of your receipts digitally in one place!

MargaritaThyme · 08/12/2023 20:30

Something which allows me to customise the weather in my local area. It has been far too cold & wet recently so some clever widget which allows me to turn up the temperature & turn off the rain would be splendid. What ar3 you waiting for, techies?

Allthecatsandcosyblankets · 08/12/2023 20:30

A back tickler, not massager. Proper tickling with acrylic nails 🤣 I'm being serious. Like you plug it in and it just tickles your back/arm/head 🤣

Unescorted · 08/12/2023 20:32

A mind reader that tells me what people want to eat for dinner.

notaladyinred · 08/12/2023 20:32

Agree with robot vacuum for stairs! Also, I know lots of people don't iron any more, but an automatic ironer would be great.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 08/12/2023 20:36

Tidying robot. Putting shoes away function, filling dishwasher, sorting clothes and washing them, cleaning loo, cleaning surfaces.

gannett · 08/12/2023 20:43

Teleporter

PersonWithInternalGonads · 08/12/2023 20:47

A vacuum drone that dusts 24/7.

A machine that sorts the edges of jigsaws.

A webcam on the inside of the fridge.

AllAroundMyCat · 08/12/2023 20:49

Devices that removed the need for needles eg diabetes, blood tests, insulin etc...

Rocksonabeach · 08/12/2023 20:49

A fully automated 1950 s wife. Who picks up the kids for me, does all the house work and everything and makes me a gin and tonic at 6 pm

HopefullyHopeless · 08/12/2023 20:52

A tablet which provides all the sun protection I need along with a golden glow

Llamawhohatesdrama · 08/12/2023 20:58

I'm a professional cleaner/housekeeper. Clients think I have actual magical cleaning powers and fail to understand that I actually put in a lot of back breaking work (I actually have prolapsed discs and osteoarthritis that has been dramatically sped up by my line of work, I've spent money I've earned from my work on osteapaths and chiropractors due to lengthy NHS waiting lists for treatment, just to carry on working).

I'd love for someone to actually invent a cleaning wand. I walk into each job, put the kettle on, take out a book, sit on their sofa and put my feet up while I initiate the cleaning wand.

It needs to come with individual client settings that I can save into its memory, so I can set it to do all the very specific things each client requires. It needs to be able to carry a lot of weight, climb several floors of stairs, read clients minds, and be really really cheap to run. It needs to do the maximum amount of donkey work for peanuts.

It also needs to put up with being patronised, micro-managed, be questioned about theft every time the client misplaces something, that it's take home pay after deducting business running costs are 'very expensive for JUST cleaning' and constant assumptions it's cheating the benefit system even though it's not claiming any benefits.

This wand would make my life SO much easier.

Puddycatfan · 08/12/2023 21:03

NoCloudsAllowed · 08/12/2023 20:09

Bosom scanner and automated bra designer that 3D prints a personalized comfy bra.

Something that's like a Roomba but it flies like a blue tit around your house sucking up dust from any surface and depositing it in neat pellets for disposal.

I love the idea of a boob scanner for the perfect fit. Definitely spotted a gap in the market there.

Could it also sort the straps out so they don't fall off my inadequate shoulders?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 08/12/2023 21:07

My 5yo would like an invention to help her sit up in bed to drink a sip of water after she is all cosy "because I am thirsty but too tired to sit up, PLEASE can you just invent an invention!!"

TheDogIsInCharge · 08/12/2023 21:08

NoCloudsAllowed · 08/12/2023 20:09

Bosom scanner and automated bra designer that 3D prints a personalized comfy bra.

Something that's like a Roomba but it flies like a blue tit around your house sucking up dust from any surface and depositing it in neat pellets for disposal.

Oh god yes yes yes to the personalised comfy bra, especially for those of us with big norks. And a special hot weather bra.

I came here to say "a comfy bra that uplifted my breasts to a pleasing, youthful level yet didn't give me sore shoulders, uncomfortable underwires or back fat."