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Original poster

What very useful device would you like to invent that hasn't already been invented?

149 replies

TheTecknician · 08/12/2023 20:05

For me it would be the Teck Patented Table De-wobbling Wonder Ray Gun. To eradicate at the squeeze of a trigger those annoying moments in pubs, cafes and restaurants worldwide where the very table you've chosen, or had booked for you, just can't keep still. Think of all the napkins, drip mats and menus it would save!

OP posts:
TheDogIsInCharge · 08/12/2023 21:09

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 08/12/2023 20:28

Some device that could look into my brain and create a to do list - but most important of all - put it in priority order for me.

Finish the task and move onto the next, no time wasted squirreling about trying to work out what needs done first and ending up with 8 unfinished tasks.

Have you seen the Black Mirror with the cloned personal assistant?

Horrific but I equally wanted one in my life...

GoodLooking4MyAge · 08/12/2023 21:11

A machine that matches your whole families socks. You just chuck them and it spits them out matched up

Andywarholswig · 08/12/2023 21:11

A gadget that pairs socks from the laundry after washing and sources the missing ones from
the far corners of the house that they migrate to. I could sell odd socks if there were any takers

GoodLooking4MyAge · 08/12/2023 21:13

A calories scanner that you can use actually on your foos. You just zap your food with it and it tells you how many calories it is whether it is cooked or not.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 08/12/2023 21:13

A hairdryer that dries and styles my hair for me while I read a book and drink tea.

Ionacat · 08/12/2023 21:14

A zapper so you can just make the cars disappear in front of you in a traffic jam.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 08/12/2023 21:14

TheYearOfSmallThings · 08/12/2023 21:13

A hairdryer that dries and styles my hair for me while I read a book and drink tea.

If it wants to give me a head massage too I would be fine with that.

OneWildNightWithJBJ · 08/12/2023 21:15

A kitchen gadget where you just type in what you need (tin of beans, a cucumber, loaf of bread etc) and it magically appears. No more weekly shops!

And a washing machine in which you can put all colours and fabrics together and they come out not only washed, but dried and ironed too.

whatausername · 08/12/2023 21:16

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 08/12/2023 21:07

My 5yo would like an invention to help her sit up in bed to drink a sip of water after she is all cosy "because I am thirsty but too tired to sit up, PLEASE can you just invent an invention!!"

You can get remote control adjustable beds. I wouldn't tell her though... 😛

Littlebitpsycho · 08/12/2023 21:17

GoodLooking4MyAge · 08/12/2023 21:13

A calories scanner that you can use actually on your foos. You just zap your food with it and it tells you how many calories it is whether it is cooked or not.

This would be epic 😍

LadySylviaMcCordle · 08/12/2023 21:27

Allthecatsandcosyblankets · 08/12/2023 20:30

A back tickler, not massager. Proper tickling with acrylic nails 🤣 I'm being serious. Like you plug it in and it just tickles your back/arm/head 🤣

Shut up and take my money! 💰

ChateauDuMont · 08/12/2023 21:28

Electronic tag connected to every MP and a buzzer/button given to every constituent.

When the button is pressed a small electric shock will be administered to the MP to show the displeasure of the constituents.

That might make them actually do what they are paid to do and help people.

DuesToTheDirt · 08/12/2023 21:29

Llamawhohatesdrama · 08/12/2023 20:58

I'm a professional cleaner/housekeeper. Clients think I have actual magical cleaning powers and fail to understand that I actually put in a lot of back breaking work (I actually have prolapsed discs and osteoarthritis that has been dramatically sped up by my line of work, I've spent money I've earned from my work on osteapaths and chiropractors due to lengthy NHS waiting lists for treatment, just to carry on working).

I'd love for someone to actually invent a cleaning wand. I walk into each job, put the kettle on, take out a book, sit on their sofa and put my feet up while I initiate the cleaning wand.

It needs to come with individual client settings that I can save into its memory, so I can set it to do all the very specific things each client requires. It needs to be able to carry a lot of weight, climb several floors of stairs, read clients minds, and be really really cheap to run. It needs to do the maximum amount of donkey work for peanuts.

It also needs to put up with being patronised, micro-managed, be questioned about theft every time the client misplaces something, that it's take home pay after deducting business running costs are 'very expensive for JUST cleaning' and constant assumptions it's cheating the benefit system even though it's not claiming any benefits.

This wand would make my life SO much easier.

But your clients could then buy these themselves and cut out the middle-man Xmas Grin

Luigifes · 08/12/2023 21:31

A robot cleamer

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 08/12/2023 21:31

@TheDogIsInCharge i haven’t watched black mirror, but am now suitably intrigued. I will add it to my never ending to do list!

Luigifes · 08/12/2023 21:33

clpsmum · 08/12/2023 20:07

Silent vibration free hair clippers for autistic son with major hair issues!

I thought those already existed! Or are they not very good?

Phineyj · 08/12/2023 21:34

I really, really want the sun protection tablet!

Luigifes · 08/12/2023 21:34

TigerRag · 08/12/2023 20:30

Something that cooks my food to perfection

The latest thermomix is really good

KnittedCardi · 08/12/2023 21:35

NoCloudsAllowed · 08/12/2023 20:09

Bosom scanner and automated bra designer that 3D prints a personalized comfy bra.

Something that's like a Roomba but it flies like a blue tit around your house sucking up dust from any surface and depositing it in neat pellets for disposal.

Additionally, a bosom scanner for mammograms that doesn't squash your tits until you weep. Note to male engineers, try it with your balls and see how you feel!

Dinobreath · 08/12/2023 21:35

Something that visibly shows pain levels.

Scaraben · 08/12/2023 21:36

OP it isn't a ray gun but you need one of these! https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1227789851/the-wobble-wheel-keyring-table-wedge?click_key=31e4c9f34c523b9079fbd43f4de2063a956ebb43%3A1227789851&click_sum=c34b12fa&ref=shop_home_recs_4&crt=1&sts=1

I want super concentrated calpol. So I only have to get e.g. 1ml rather than 10ml into my febrile child who hates the taste and pukes it back up.

Scaraben · 08/12/2023 21:37

NoCloudsAllowed · 08/12/2023 20:09

Bosom scanner and automated bra designer that 3D prints a personalized comfy bra.

Something that's like a Roomba but it flies like a blue tit around your house sucking up dust from any surface and depositing it in neat pellets for disposal.

Oh yes i would pay good money for a roomba blue tit

RinklyRomaine · 08/12/2023 21:38

clpsmum · 08/12/2023 20:07

Silent vibration free hair clippers for autistic son with major hair issues!

If you could just get that invented and in production before Christmas, I'd be very grateful Grin

devuskums · 08/12/2023 21:39

@Spooce you have this already... take a photo of your receipts and save them in a dedicated folder on your phone, or email them to yourself!

ChateauDuMont · 08/12/2023 21:43

The bad egg machine from the original Willy Wonka film.

'Mr. Wonka shows them the geese that can lay golden eggs. If it's a good egg, it's shipped out, and if it's a bad egg it goes down the garbage chute and the incinerator.'

Once a year everyone has to attend an appointment and sit on the scale and if you've been a good person you get to live and if you're a bad person, down the chute you go to the incinerator.

The police can also use it when they arrest someone.

Think how much it will cut down on prison expenses.