Mum is overweight but dad and kids aren't

[ChocolateHippo]

Just musing over this. What do you think when you come across a family where the mum is overweight but the dad and kids aren't?

The family in question are relatively well-off, the dad does several sports (cycling, training for various events) and the kids each do several out-of-school activities a week. The dad and kids are very fit and active. I know the mum used to do some hobbies/sports pre-DC.

Just curious to know whether other people tend to think the same thing that I do in this scenario.

Ay?? That sounds like a perfectly great, probably aspired for, figure so I’m not entirely sure what you’re talking about. The OP is clearly talking about people that are severely and notably overweight. Not you.

I wouldn't think anything of it. If prompted, I'd probably think pregancy buggered up her body like it buggered up mine, and she's gained weight as a result.

Or that she really enjoys food, and good luck to her.

l have a couple of friends like this - Mum works, does more of the housework and childcare. Spends evenings and weekends catching up on thing like work (cause she leaves at 4 as she feels guilty about kids being after school scare). Ensures kids have healthy meals, she’s permanently snacking rather than sitting down for meals because of time pressures. Self care is wine/chocolate.

Dad works, but no alterations for kids, isn’t coming home and doing more in evenings, does less childcare and takes plenty of time out for hobbies. Possibly not as interested in food. Wants to lose a few pounds just doesn’t drink beer for a bit.

So many mentions of thyroid disorders. Untreated hypothyroidism does cause issues with weight loss. However, if you're taking treatment it shouldn't be that hard, definitely not impossible. People in Hypo support groups i'm in love to use it like a shield excuse. But their levels are normal and treatment is working for them, they have no other symptoms but somehow just can't lose weight. It's just excuses after excuses.

Im overweight and my dh and DC are a healthy weight. I have plenty of time to take care of myself...I just like food.

I think I'll mind my own business is what I think.

Why do you even care?

I'd think dad has time for exercise but mum doesn't seeing as you say she doesn't do hobbies since having kids. Add pregnancy and sleep deprivation caring for kids etc etc high carb and sugar foods are easy and craved. Or she may just like her food or have a medical thing. I wouldn't judge. But for me I went from slim healthy and active to fat and exhausted when I got dumped with more than my share of child responsibility

I'd think she was probably just as slim as the kids at their age and he's probably genetically of a different make up from her and isn't as inclined to put on weight in middle age.

Who said she cares? It's a discussion. On a discussion forum!

I’d either think she has focused on her kids and maybe not prioritised her own health unintentionally through tiredness, lack of time etc.
or she is happy and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

if the children are malnourished and the parents are fat then I would judge it has neglecting their child’s health and prioritising their own eating

I think pregnancy weight gain or too busy looking after family to find time for herself. I don’t think anything negative, if this is what you’re asking about.

Well if you spot me I will eat you, and shit you out 😁

Exactly. When you've been looking after the kids all day every day and can't get out of the house because your husband ALWAYS has something important to do the only thing to look forward to is eventually flopping on the sofa after bedtime with a bottle glass of wine and some snacks.

@CommonOrNot

Size 14 at 5'3 is very chubby/overweight.

I promise if you look at me next to my tall slim husband I look fat.

Like I said, luckily for me DH is over the moon. But I dislike my size and shape a lot at the moment and certainly stand out compared to the rest of the family on holiday etc. Very slim sporty kids. I'm short and wide and clearly not sporty.

Size 14 is overweight...

Is size 14 actually overweight? Surely not? I thought size 18+ is overweight….

@RealBigBarbie , whether you are overweight or not depends on your height, build and lifestyle. A dress size is just a number.

@TravellingT I made the same point upthread. The medication should help stabilize your weight if you’re on the right dose.

But your levels can fluctuate so most people need at least an annual blood test. I’ve just had mine and my doctor needs to alter my dosage again, it’s happened several times over the years.

So my advice is that if you’re on medication and your weight starts creeping up, ask for a blood test. I was started on 50mg but it’s been increased to 125 mg over the years. My thyroid has really packed up, unfortunately. 😂

I’m a size 14, currently 13st 7lb, and at 5 foot 4, my BMI is 33. I am very overweight (although, a few years ago I was 23 stone, so i’ll take it for now!)

It literally wouldn’t even cross my mind. I’d probably not notice.

Not meaning to be harsh but I think generally size 14 is overweight, especially given vanity sizing these days.
Even for a tall woman like me (I'm 5ft 8) I'm overweight when I get to size 14.
I'm sure there are some size 14s who are just muscular and well built and look slim - I'm talking generally.

Jesus wept - take your fucking judgement and shove it. If you really have a serious thyroid issue you'd be a lot more understanding that even when it's under control different people react differently. Just like when it's out of control people react differently. For example, my TSH level was 10x higher than it should have been when my thyroid issue was picked up. Apart from having a lump in my neck i was completely asymptomatic. Based on your school of thought I should have berated those people with lower TSH who were exhausted, fat, losing hair because none of those things happened to me. Menopause plus Hashimoto's disease made me put on a lot of weight quite suddenly. I have managed to shift most of it over the last year but it's been incredibly difficult. I have to think about every single thing I eat. My consultant offered me Ozempic on the NHS because it is medically recognised how bloody hard it is to lose weight if your thyroid is fucked. I chose not to take more medication - perhaps you should give be a medal? Smug judgement is not helpful.

@SallyWD If you’ve got a large chest, for example, you may need a size 14 to accommodate it. My DD (18) is tall and athletic but often needs a larger size because of this.
She hates being built that way, tbh, it’s a complete pain for sports. Dresses can be really annoying as a larger size may fit her top half and then look baggy on the bottom. Her prom dress needed a lot of alterations!

She didn’t get that gene from me. 😂