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Original poster

Can't get hold of adult son. He went out last night and phone has gone to not recognised.

158 replies

Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:20

He walks home in a bad area. He never doesn't answer or reply. He lives alone in a house share.

I'm past myself.

OP posts:
CopperLion · 02/12/2023 10:22

Can you/have you called his housemates? Try not to worry too soon. He is more likely to have gotten drunk and stopped out somewhere than something worse.

Cantbeardarknights · 02/12/2023 10:22

If he lives alone as an adultin a house share, in the nicest possible way, he shouldn’t have his mum checking up on him. He’s an adult and there are a million reasons why he isn’t contactable. It’s highly unlikely to be something serious. Do you always check up on him when he goes out?

TheMixedGirl · 02/12/2023 10:23

Honestly I'd just wait a bit. He's probably partying with friends. He's an adult that lives away from home. Give him a bit of space. If he doesn't get back to you by tonight/tomorrow evening then start to worry. His battery probably died.

takemeoutonight · 02/12/2023 10:25

I would be the same as you OP as it sounds out of character for your son by how you've written the post. Do you have any of his friends as FB friends or similar? Maybe worth giving them a message to just say you can't reach your son and just want to check he's ok.
Hope he's alright.

SirVixofVixHall · 02/12/2023 10:25

Might he have gone out very late and just be sleeping in this morning? He could have lost his phone or its battery gone flat.

Hastheslotharrivedyet · 02/12/2023 10:26

It’s most likely his phone battery has died and he’s stayed at a mate’s. I have this all the time with my youngest son (26). The age is irrelevant. The worry is there every time they step outside the house. I can 100 per cent understand OP. Hang in there. He’ll turn up x

FrenchandSaunders · 02/12/2023 10:27

How old? Is he at uni? Prob asleep and hungover or met someone last night and with them

LimeCheesecake · 02/12/2023 10:29

given the phone isn’t letting you call, it’s probably broken. He may well be sat with a brew annoyed he’s got to sort out a replacement/getting it fixed this close to Christmas.

can you send him an email?

Original poster
Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:30

Email is a good idea thanks.

It's very out of character. Usually calm DH has been on to his local police.

OP posts:
tkwal · 02/12/2023 10:31

If his phone has gone to unrecognised it has possibly been stolen and had the sim removed. If you haven't heard from him in a few more hours/ by the time you know he would have usually contacted you ask the police for a welfare check. They won't prioritise him but make sure you note the time, date and name of the person you speak to. I know that doesn't seem much but it's better than doing nothing. I'm sorry you're having this anxiety, it doesn't matter how old they are, we never really stop worrying about them. Hopefully by the time you read this you will have heard from him

frenchtipss · 02/12/2023 10:31

Do you have him on socials or his friends/housemates? He is probably fine, just didn't charge his phone when he went to sleep. I'd reach out to any contact numbers that I have for his friends.

If you're that worried call the police stations and hospitals locally, but there's a strong chance that he is fine and sleeping off yesterday activity

BitOutOfPractice · 02/12/2023 10:31

It might’ve gone to unrecognised if he’s cancelled the sim if he’s lost it.

try not to worry. It’s still early (well it is for a youngster!)

AIstolemylunch · 02/12/2023 10:32

Is he on Three? You know they've had a massive Mobile network outage for the last 24 hrs?

keye · 02/12/2023 10:32

Cantbeardarknights · 02/12/2023 10:22

If he lives alone as an adultin a house share, in the nicest possible way, he shouldn’t have his mum checking up on him. He’s an adult and there are a million reasons why he isn’t contactable. It’s highly unlikely to be something serious. Do you always check up on him when he goes out?

This is such a weird, but very MN common, take on family relationships.

It's ok to care about your grown children and it's fine to want to make sure people you love are safe.

It's poor behaviour to tell a parent who is worried that she should not be because her child is an adult.

OP i hope you hear from him very soon.

Hastheslotharrivedyet · 02/12/2023 10:34

keye · 02/12/2023 10:32

This is such a weird, but very MN common, take on family relationships.

It's ok to care about your grown children and it's fine to want to make sure people you love are safe.

It's poor behaviour to tell a parent who is worried that she should not be because her child is an adult.

OP i hope you hear from him very soon.

Show quote history

The age is irrelevant. It’s gut-wrenching to not be able to contact someone you love who you know has been out for an evening.

Original poster
Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:35

keye · 02/12/2023 10:32

This is such a weird, but very MN common, take on family relationships.

It's ok to care about your grown children and it's fine to want to make sure people you love are safe.

It's poor behaviour to tell a parent who is worried that she should not be because her child is an adult.

OP i hope you hear from him very soon.

Show quote history

Thanks. I've been around long enough to know there's always a few who have nothing better to do than talk shit.

Young men go missing all the time. Fact.

OP posts:
Goinoutalone · 02/12/2023 10:36

@keye I don’t think it’s weird at all, it hasn’t even been 24 hours…at that age no one needs their parent’s checking in on them and phoning the police!! He could have lost his phone, broken it, be with a girl/boy etc, OP is allowed to worry yes of course but to be calling police and other friends etc is a bit much!

Hastheslotharrivedyet · 02/12/2023 10:38

@Goinoutalone It’s called love and concern

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 02/12/2023 10:38

If he lives alone as an adultin a house share, in the nicest possible way, he shouldn’t have his mum checking up on him.

There is no 'shouldn't' about it. What makes you think the OP was 'checking up on him', rather than that she happened to call him for another reason and only became concerned because his phone was 'unrecognised' when she happened to know he'd been out and in a dodgy area? Most parents don't just switch off all feelings of concern and responsibility for their children the moment they become adults.

Cantbeardarknights · 02/12/2023 10:38

keye · 02/12/2023 10:32

This is such a weird, but very MN common, take on family relationships.

It's ok to care about your grown children and it's fine to want to make sure people you love are safe.

It's poor behaviour to tell a parent who is worried that she should not be because her child is an adult.

OP i hope you hear from him very soon.

Show quote history

I care very very much about my children but I don’t track my adult children or panic within moments if they don’t answer a call by 10am. I just feel that tracking adults and knowing their every move when they live independently isn’t healthy.

of course you want to know they’re safe but a level of panic and calling the police be user they haven’t answered their phone first thing in the morning is a little extreme

WandaWonder · 02/12/2023 10:40

Maybe he want to be a grown up and have a bit of space?

feathermucker · 02/12/2023 10:40

Do you know anyone he house shares with, could you contact them?

Mamette · 02/12/2023 10:41

What time does it say on his WhatsApp last seen?

Hope he contacts you soon.

SJP306 · 02/12/2023 10:42

Could he not have gotten drunk and stayed out till 4 am and is simply asleep with a flat battery?x

Pigeonqueen · 02/12/2023 10:44

How old is he? If he’s early 20s I’d be tempted to message a couple of his friends on instagram and see if they’ve heard from him. Dd is 20 and she’s far more active on there than anywhere else.