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Original poster

Can't get hold of adult son. He went out last night and phone has gone to not recognised.

158 replies

Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:20

He walks home in a bad area. He never doesn't answer or reply. He lives alone in a house share.

I'm past myself.

OP posts:
keye · 02/12/2023 11:14

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:12

Network problems don't really matter on this day and age though do they? Even if he can't call or text, don't most people use WhatsApp anyway?

Of course they matter. If he is out and has no signal he won't be able to use WhatsApp

JollyJellyCat · 02/12/2023 11:14

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:12

Network problems don't really matter on this day and age though do they? Even if he can't call or text, don't most people use WhatsApp anyway?

DH is on Three and his WhatsApp is very intermittent - even on WiFi. This morning some messages came through from him that he'd sent yesterday morning but he's been on Wifi since 6 yesterday evening.

Op hope all works out OK.

Original poster
Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 11:14

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:12

Network problems don't really matter on this day and age though do they? Even if he can't call or text, don't most people use WhatsApp anyway?

WhatsApp is how we message 😞

OP posts:
Stressedafff · 02/12/2023 11:15

If you’ve no signal, you’ve no data for WhatsApp or any other internet. Hopefully all is okay OP xx

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:15

@keye
Literally everywhere has Wi Fi you can connect to while out and about

Sparklyhat · 02/12/2023 11:15

You say he should be travelling a long journey by now. Can you contact the person he's visiting ask if they've heard from him?

Sleepimpossible · 02/12/2023 11:16

Hope he contacts you soon. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but I do understand your concern and would be the same. The old saying ‘no news is good news’ seems to apply to most scenarios, so hang on in there.

AccountCreateUsername · 02/12/2023 11:16

keye · 02/12/2023 10:32

This is such a weird, but very MN common, take on family relationships.

It's ok to care about your grown children and it's fine to want to make sure people you love are safe.

It's poor behaviour to tell a parent who is worried that she should not be because her child is an adult.

OP i hope you hear from him very soon.

Show quote history

I agree. It’s spectacularly unhelpful. Hope he’s ok OP.

bzarda · 02/12/2023 11:16

I've done this a couple of times as a young adult - lost 2 phones in taxis, phone ran out of battery, lived in flats hit by power outages (especially in bad weather)
All times I was fine but my poor mum was beside herself. I only understand now I'm a mum too. I hope he contacts you soon x

Pinkyandthebrain96 · 02/12/2023 11:17

Hope everything is ok OP. Absolutely nothing wrong with being worried about your adult child .You know what his behaviour is normally and if it is out of character you are more than entitled to be worried .My eldest is late 20"s and lives just over an hr away ,just because he is an adult does not mean if it was out character for him I would not worry .💐hope you hear soon as you can put your mind at rest and ignore the naysayers.

keye · 02/12/2023 11:17

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:15

@keye
Literally everywhere has Wi Fi you can connect to while out and about

Right, but is he was able to connect to WiFi then he would have many other options than just WhatsApp.

The suggesting that you don't need a connection for WhatsApp is wrong. You do.

Original poster
Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 11:18

BullysSpecialPrize123 · 02/12/2023 11:14

And I'm also in regular contact with my Mum, if she couldn't get hold of me in 24 hours and saw I'd not been on watsapp she'd be waiting for me in my house by now and I'd be out looking for her if it was the other way around.

I'm nearly 40!

It's not about being overbearing it's knowing your own pattern of communication and knowing when it changes dramatically.

Aww she sounds lovely. Yes it's not usual at all.

OP posts:
keye · 02/12/2023 11:18

WhatsApp is how we message 😞

Ignore the poster saying it doesn't matter if he has no network for WhatsApp; it absolutely does.

Holly60 · 02/12/2023 11:19

Goinoutalone · 02/12/2023 10:36

@keye I don’t think it’s weird at all, it hasn’t even been 24 hours…at that age no one needs their parent’s checking in on them and phoning the police!! He could have lost his phone, broken it, be with a girl/boy etc, OP is allowed to worry yes of course but to be calling police and other friends etc is a bit much!

So you are telling me that if you tried to contact someone you care about, be it a friend, sibling, adult child etc and their phone was uncontactable which was totally out of character, you'd not think to try and find out what had happened to them?

Bloody hell, I'm glad you aren't MY friend. I'd be devastated if no one tried to locate me if my phone stopped working.

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:19

@keye
I'm saying that his personal provider being down doesn't in any way affect his ability to connect to the Internet using Wi Fi and to use WhatsApp (or any other app, or email) to get it touch. It sounds like he's lost his phone

romdowa · 02/12/2023 11:20

If the network is down then he won't have mobile data. So WhatsApp is useless. Send a regular text and make sure delivery reports are on. They way you will at least know when the network is back up.

keye · 02/12/2023 11:21

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:19

@keye
I'm saying that his personal provider being down doesn't in any way affect his ability to connect to the Internet using Wi Fi and to use WhatsApp (or any other app, or email) to get it touch. It sounds like he's lost his phone

You said network being down doesn't matter because people use WhatsApp. It does matter.

If he is out and hadn't connected to WiFi he isn't using WhatsApp. If he was out and did connect to WiFi he would have multiple options.

Geekylover · 02/12/2023 11:21

Cantbeardarknights · 02/12/2023 10:22

If he lives alone as an adultin a house share, in the nicest possible way, he shouldn’t have his mum checking up on him. He’s an adult and there are a million reasons why he isn’t contactable. It’s highly unlikely to be something serious. Do you always check up on him when he goes out?

You got the reaction you hoped for with your insensitive comment but fortunately not from OP

i hope he gets in touch soon OP or eveN comes round for a nice cup of tea to ease his hangover. In the meantime I would try to contact his friends, housemates, local pub etc
keep us posted x

wineandsunshine · 02/12/2023 11:22

Hopefully just a phone issue - hope he's safe and worry over soon.

purplewater · 02/12/2023 11:23

OP assuming he wasn't due to contact you today he is probably on his way to meet this friend and may call you once he's there. I'm on 3 too and haven't been able to make it receive calls

GandalfTheWhite · 02/12/2023 11:23

Hope he gets in touch soon OP

CanIPutTheTreeUpYet · 02/12/2023 11:26

If he's on ID mobile, that network was down alot yesterday. I couldn't get in touch with anyone. Hoping so much you hear from him today.

rainbowstardrops · 02/12/2023 11:29

I'd be worried too @Gointhruhell. I would say I'd like to be more laid back and not worry about my adult children so much but I'd rather be the way I am and know they're safe.
I really hope there's a simple explanation and you hear from your son soon.

Headband · 02/12/2023 11:30

Do you know the people he's visiting and what time he is due to arrive?

Lemonyyy · 02/12/2023 11:31

Try not to panic, there’s almost certainly a reasonable explanation like a lost phone that has run out of battery. Keep trying. How far away are you from him?