Can't get hold of adult son. He went out last night and phone has gone to not recognised.

[Gointhruhell]

He walks home in a bad area. He never doesn't answer or reply. He lives alone in a house share.

I'm past myself.

Glad he emailed back. My mam would have worried too in that situation. We talk most days and if I don't get back to her within a day she texts DH just to see all is ok! (I've usually just not heard the text)

Aww wonderful news op. Give him a big hug the next time you see him.

Kids are a worry no matter what age they are. I always to my my ds, you may be in your twenties but your still my baby.

🎉🎉🎉

Really glad he is safe and well!

Well yes - but it’s also fairly full on anxiety.

Worrying about someone because you couldn’t get hold them the Saturday morning after they were out, calling the police and noting that young men go missing all the time (they don’t) is very anxious behaviour. Mostlove and are concerned about their adult kids, but in this scenario they wouldn’t even think about being worried.

@Gointhruhell glad to hear he is ok and has been in touch! Now make sure you rest too after that worry. Thank you for updating us and glad someone suggested email, what a good idea

Just wondered if he always tells you when he's going out, or did you ask him?

When I was his age, the last thing I wanted my parents to know about was my (mad!) social life.

Thanks (most of you)

I'm off out now to see mil. I'm going out tonight and was in 2 minds about driving but think I'll have some pints. Not as many as ds1 did last night. 😊

I won't be posting anymore but I do really appreciate the support.

If he has no WiFi access, WhatsApp won't work.

He does most of the time yes. He's much more sensible than I was at that age. I was a total party animal. Had pretty shit parents though plus no mobile phones in my day.

@Poppins2016
Yeah he was meant to be out though so would have been able to find WiFi access, hence why I assumed he had lost his phone...which he has...

Fantastic news that you've heard from him! How annoying that he's lost his phone/had it stolen but at least he's ok!

This is why I think it’s better not to know too much about your adult children! I do my parents the courtesy of only telling them afterwards about any misadventures. They worry too much as it is.

My own teens know they can call me in a crisis no questions asked, but they also know not to give me a running commentary of their social lives.

Glad he’s ok OP.

So glad to hear that. You just can’t switch off your concerns because someone reaches a certain age (although plenty on MN do seem to). And you were right, something did happen (lost/stolen phone) so your instinct that it was out of character was not misguided. My two are young adults and I am prone to anxiety if they’re late or not contactable.

So glad OP. Was really worried for you all, reading the initial post.

Glad he is OK. It is crazy how times have changed though. I once loved abroad for 6 months aged 18 and spoke to my parents twice!

Part of it is that things have changed as communication is easier and pretty standard by messaging now, but there is still an element of differing relationships.

I was out the door at 15 becsue my mother was a cunt. My own DD at 15? We communicated a lot.

He's an adult, I'm sure he can take care of himself. The sad part of modern life where if you don't answer your phone you are presumed missing is action.
Give the fella a break, he's probably had a great night and is nursing a sore head or entertaining a 'friend'.

So glad all is ok. I completely understand the worry and the panic.

Glad that he is OK, OP.

Glad he is safe. Ignore the unsupportive posts.
I hope he gets his phone back.

@Holly60 after less than 12-24 hours yes…it’s a bit much to be honest. Calling the police?? Really? I get the bring concerned and worried I’m not saying I wouldn’t, I’m saying there’s Appropriate reactions to be fair. But then again I’m not in contact with everyone all the time, I find it all very claustrophobic to be honest. I am currently trying to retrain my parents to this, I’m late 30’s and they call me constantly to see where I am and what I’m doing, if they don’t get an answer to message within 10-20 minutes they call me. They call me multiple times in a row, it’s fucking tiring! I’m busy, I’m working, I’m making dinner, I’m resting, I’m having a bath etc. I don’t need to be in constant contact.

Great news, I would also have been up the wall with worry x

Who says she was ‘checking up’ on him? You’re making assumptions. Maybe she just needed to ask him something.

I think you are missing the point @Goinoutalone
The OP's son always messages his mum on his way back, so when he doesn't of course she will get worried.

I don't expect or want DD to message me if she is on her way home from a night out, but if it was norm you bet I would be worried. She lives two hours away.

If my parents phoned the police every time that happened then I would be the most sort after person in the country by the police.

I would regularly have my phone die and nowhere to charge it or even lost it a couple of time in my teens, I managed to kill to old brick Nokia (not as indestructible as people think) and a flip phone.

I'm perfectly fine, I also lived in a really rough area but was never dead in a ditch (believe it or not a very rare thing to happen, even in poor/rough areas), was just hanging out with friends which is what teens do.

Unless hes high risk (suicidal or very young or has dementia etc...) then 99% of the time he will just be sleeping off a hangover, having phone issues, still partying or enjoying post sex basking after meeting a new interest.

Its a bit sad parents can't seem to let their kids fly anymore.